


A Thousand Year

by LerDan



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Angels, Angst, Drama, High School, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, OC, Romance, description of self-harmed scars (i think you can call it that), drug addict, mentions of God/Heaven/Michael, mentions of drug use, mentions of self harm, ooc, soulmate fanfic, violence (only a tiny bit)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-28
Updated: 2014-05-12
Packaged: 2018-01-21 04:05:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 54,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1536881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LerDan/pseuds/LerDan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In order for angels to gain their powers back they'd need to find their soulmates. What happens when Luke (aka Lucifer) finds that his soulmate is damaged and broken?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya, guys! So, I've been working on this for the last couple of months. It's been hard, but I managed to pull it off. Slightly different from what I did in my other stories. Since I don't really read/write angel related fanfictions, I actually wrote one. The story is complete, I'll post the chapters in between 2 or 3 days (it'll depend from my personal life), but the story is definitely complete.  
> If you've got additional questions don't be a stranger and ask them by the review and/or PM me and/or inbox me on tumblr (search me by my username).  
> Try to keep the hate at minimum, yeah? Reviews are appreciated.  
> Beta reader is once again Dee :) I love her ^.^
> 
> PS: first story that I'm posting here. eeeppp!

**Chapter 1/12:**

Sam’s eyes snapped open as his table clock started to ring early in the morning. He reached for it to shut it off. He groaned as he stretched on the bed and then flipped on his back. He blinked up at the ceiling.

His bedroom’s curtains were drawn, but from how it glowed, he knew that it was a sunny day. He yawned as he sat up, swinging his legs off the bed and sitting hunched over, face in hands. He felt tired. He stood up and then trudged out of his bedroom, scratching the back of his head. He made his way towards the bathroom. Assuming there wasn’t anyone in there he opened the door and stopped short.

“The fuck…?” His brother, Dean, who was pinned against the bathroom sink by his boyfriend. And they were kissing. Sam wasn’t sure which hands belonged to his brother and which to Castiel. He shook his head, “Jesus, guys? Guys! Don’t you have a bedroom, Dean?” Sam asked, exasperated.

There was a loud sloppy sound as the boys pulled back. Dean smiled at his brother, “Hiya, Sammy.” How could anyone be so damn cheerful early in the morning, was beyond Sam’s imagination. “What’s up?”

“I’d like to use the bathroom, and I’d rather use it alone,” said Sam, looking at Dean.

“Oh, yeah, right,” said Dean, then he grabbed Castiel’s hand and tugged him out of the bathroom. He was blushing hard. Sam wondered if Castiel owned any other clothes other than the white button down shirt with a trench coat on it. Sometimes, he would wear a blue tie too, which would make him seem a lot older than he looked. He was weird in some ways, and more than once, Sam asked himself what he saw in his brother. They were different, but they were so in love that it sometimes made Sam sick.

But what was strange, was that Sam never saw Castiel coming and going from their house. He'd get there at different times of the day, and night, and Dean would just let him in and they'd be in Dean's bedroom for hours. And it was weird seeing him up so early in the morning, already ready for the day ahead. Sam shook his head and relieved himself, and then turned on the sink. He didn't look at himself in the mirror. He hadn't looked at himself for quite some time now. He splashed some water on his face, fingers grazing over his light stubble. He had to ask Dean to shave it for him. Since he wasn't allowed to get close to sharp things.

He splashed some water on his face, the sleeves of his shirt getting wet from it. He didn't mind it. He dried his hands and face and then left the bathroom to go to his bedroom to get ready for school. First day of school. First day of talking to any human being that wasn't wearing white robes and didn't look at him like he was in his dying bed.

He heard his brother bark out a laughter from downstairs, followed by Castiel's voice. He said something that made Dean laugh ever harder. Sam's lips twitched at the sides.

He started getting ready for school. He wore a long-sleeved shirt. Even if it would be stifling hot outside, he couldn't wear any other shirt. He made sure it covered his arms. He still felt self-conscious about it. He wasn't sure he'd ever feel otherwise about it.

Closing his bedroom door after him, he bounded down the stairs, making sure to make as much noise as possible. He wanted to make sure that they'd know he was coming in because he didn't want to stumble on Dean and Castiel in a compromising position.

He sighed in relief as he saw them in a normal position, standing side by side, making breakfast. They were whispering about something, that Sam couldn't hear.

As Dean turned he looked at Sam and then shook his head. "Don't you have a mirror in your bedroom or something?"

"Why?" asked Sam, he looked down at his outfit. He looked acceptable.

"I'm not talking about what you're wearing. What's your hair doing?" Dean said, as he dumped some pancakes in the plate in front of him.

"What about it?"

"It's a mess!"

 _So is my life,_ Sam thought. But he run his fingers through his hair. "Satisfied?"

Dean looked at him for a moment, and then nodded. "Yes. Presentable."

Sam rolled his eyes and started to eat. Castiel sat at the table with a plate full of pancakes. He poured a heavy amount of syrup on top of them and started to eat. Sam thought he learned that from Dean, because he was doing the same. Sam shook his head at the two of them.

"Are you excited to get back to school?" Castiel asked him in a friendly tone. Sam tensed for a second, but then remembered that it was okay for him to ask that kind of a question. After all, he was there with Dean by his side.

"Yeah, I am," he answered.

"Did you know that Cas' brothers are coming to our school now?" asked Dean, shoving pancakes into his mouth.

"Oh, no. I didn't know that." As far as Sam knew, his brothers were going to school abroad. Sam didn't know the reason, nor did he care about it. But knowing how school kids were he was sure he'd find out about it the second he'd step into the building.

"Yes," said Cas. "I don't know what classes they're going to take, but I think one of them will be in the same year as you."

"Cool."

At that moment, Cas' phone started to ring and he excused himself from the table to go and answer it. He walked out of the back door from the kitchen and shut the door after him. Dean turned and looked at Sam. He hesitated and then asked. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, Dean," Sam said, already knowing where this conversation was heading to.

"If anyone says or does something, you come to me, yeah?"

"Dean, I'm not a baby."

Dean held up his hand. "I'm not saying you are a baby, I'm just saying, be careful, okay?"

"Yes, I know."

"And don't say or do anything if you stumble on Crowley."

"He is still there?" asked Sam, tensing again. His stomach started to churn.

"Yes, he is."

Sam took a steadying breath. "I can take care of myself."

"I know," Dean said.

Sam closed his eyes and then counted to ten, trying to calm his rising anxiety. His leg started to bounce. "I can take care of myself." Sam repeated.

"Dude, calm down, I know-"

"No, you don't." said Sam and then stood up. "If you knew we wouldn't be having this conversation now." He turned and walked out of the kitchen. "I'll wait for you in the car," he yelled after him, and then slammed the door shut.

As soon as he was out, Cas came back in. Dean had his head in his hands. Cas felt sorry for him. He walked towards him and laid a hand over his neck. He leaned in and kissed the top of his head.

Dean sighed. "I'm just worried about him."

"I know," said Cas.

"He can't blame me for worrying, right?" Dean said, looking up at Cas. Cas laid a hand over his forehead and smiled down at him.

"No, no one can blame you for that," Cas leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips. Dean calmed down considerably. "Let's clean up and then go to school, yeah?"

Dean nodded and then stood up to do the dishes. They cleaned up quickly, grabbed their bags and kissed another kiss before going out of the front door.

Sam was waiting for them at the backseat of the Impala. He had a book open in his lap as he read through it quickly. He started as they got in and placed their bags in the backseat beside him.

The ride to school was kind of silent. Dean was blasting off some music and was singing with it so out-of-tune that it made Sam cringe. Castiel had this smile on his face that made Sam roll his eyes. He never understood them, to be honest. They were so different from each other. While Cas was silent and would talk with carefully picked words, Dean was the complete opposite; loud and full of swear words. They didn't have anything in common. Sam never understood them and he was sure he'd never understand.

The thought would scare him sometimes.

He shook his head as Dean parked the car at the school parking lot. Sam gave them their bags and took his own. He stepped out of the car and walked towards the building, not wanting to talk to anyone. Of course they'd question his disappearing at the end of the school year before summer and in summer. He didn't really know his classmates, he wasn't sure that he'd recognize them by their faces, but he was willing to make a friend or two. He just needed to stop panicking whenever people actually did talk to him in a friendly tone of voice.

But first things first, he had to go to the principle's office.

He opened the door to the receptionist office, where the principle's office was at too. Making his way towards to the desk where Erica, the secretary, was sitting, he said a quiet 'hello' to her.

She was typing on her computer and didn't seem to notice him at first. But then her eyes reluctantly left her computer's screen and focused on him. She blinked several times and craned her neck up to look at him. She raised an eyebrow at him and then took of her glasses and looked at him.

"Yes?" she said.

"I'm Sam Winchester, Mr. Harper requested my presence this morning. Is he in?"

She blinked and then nodded, "Yes, he is in. I'll just let him know you're here."

"Thank you," said Sam.

She informed Mr. Harper about his presence, who replied with an affirmative. "Go in, Winchester." She said and Sam turned around, rolling his eyes at her.

Sam knocked on the door first and waited for Mr. Harper to call him in. He entered the office and shut the door behind him.

"Ah, Mr. Winchester. Come on in," Mr. Harper was an old-man. He had been a principle of the school or a long time now. As far as Sam knew, he had been a principle even before he was born. Sam was impressed by it. “Have a seat.”

Sam walked towards one of the chairs that was in front of the desk and sat on it, placing his bag on the floor by his leg.

Mr. Harper smiled at him, "Tell me, Mr. Winchester, how are you feeling?"

"I'm fine, thank you for asking. How about you?" Sam answered, respectfully.

"You know why I'm asking, Mr. Winchester," he looked at Sam through his glasses, a small kind smile on his face.

They were silent for a moment. Sam shifted in his seat and then hunched over to get the file that Mr. Harper said to bring with him from his bag. He gave it to him and sat back.

"They said I was stable enough to come back and interact with people. Make new friends and stuff," said Sam as Mr. Harper looked through the files.

He read the doctor's note and then nodded.

"Do you think you're ready to come back?" he asked.

"Well, if they weren't sure about it, I wouldn't be here, would I?" he answered, feeling defensive.

"And I'm not asking them. I'm asking you." he said patiently. "Are you ready to come back?"

Sam felt embarrassed about his outburst, but then he thought about the question. It'd be good to come back and talk to people, make new friends, but... was he really ready to face them all? Was he ready to answer the inevitable questions that he was sure people would ask? Was he ready to face Crowley and his gang? The last thought scared him.

But Dean was there. He was there to help him if he'd need him. Cas was willing to help as well. With that in mind he looked at Mr. Harper and nodded.

"Yes, I'm ready to come back."

Mr. Harper smiled, as if he knew the answer was going to be just that. "Good. Excellent. Here, take the file to Erica and tell her to get two copies of these, yes? One for me and one for the school nurse," said Mr. Harper as he gave the file back to Sam. He grabbed his bag and stood up, taking the file from Mr. Harper, he smiled hesitantly and then left the office.

As he walked towards the front desk he noticed that Erica wasn't alone anymore. Instead, in front of her were two boys around their age, but somehow they looked a bit older. They were fairly attractive compared to the people of Kansas City.

One of the boys were talking to Erica rather animatedly, making her giggle and laugh. And the other one was resting against the desk and was lazily riffling through a flyer that Erica always had on her desk.

The 'animated' one was wearing a blue fitted button down shirt, sleeves-rolled up, and tight jeans. While the 'lazy' one was more of a motorcycle type. Sam was pretty sure he had a motorcycle. He was wearing black skinny jeans, and black leather jacket. His hair was carefully styled and Sam thought that Dean would be jealous of it as soon as he'd see it.

While it was pleasant looking at them, Sam still had to get back to class. So he walked towards the desk and cleared his throat to get Erica's attention.

"Yes?" she said. She looked somewhat annoyed for being interrupted from her flirtation with the guy.

"Mr. Harper said to copy these papers, one for him and one for the school nurse."

"Yeah sure," she said offhandedly. "Did he say when he wants them?"

"Uhm, no, he didn't. Can I come back for them after school?"

"Yes."

"Okay, cool."

As she took the file from him, the 'animated' one turned and looked at Sam and promptly stumbled back as soon as he did so.

"Holy shit!" he almost yelled as he stood beside the lazy one.

The two of them were standing close to each other and they were staring at Sam with wonder in their eyes. Sam felt his alarms go off and he quickly looked down at his arms. Which were, thankfully, still covered with his shirt. He frowned and looked up.

"Yes?" he said instead.

"Who are you?"

Sam raised an eyebrow and answered slowly, "I could ask you the same."

"I asked you first," the 'animated' one was quick to answer.

Sam thought of leaving and not answering, but then he thought better of it and said. "I'm Sam Winchester."

"Winchester?" said the 'animated' one. "As in, Dean Winchester's brother?"

Sam eyed him suspiciously before nodding. "Yes, do you know my brother?"

"Well, I will be damned," he said and then turned and looked at the lazy one, shaking his head. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

Sam glanced at Erica who was looking at them curiously. Sam shrugged and then adjusted his bag on his shoulder. "Uhm I have to get to class. I'll see you later, Erica."

She nodded and Sam quickly left the office, shutting the door behind him.

As soon as he was out the 'animated' one turned and said, "Did you see that?"

"Yes, I did," said the lazy one, he sounded almost bored. But his eyes were telling a different story.

"No, seriously. _Did you see that?_ "

"Yes, I did. And stop panicking, you're frightening Erica here. Done with your flirting, so we can go to class," his voice held a tone of warning.

"You're a pain, you know that?" but he reached out and took the form they had to sign from Erica. They signed them, and then left the office, but not before the 'animated' one got her number and gave her a wink.

"You're not even going to call her," said the lazy one, as they walked down the hallway.

"Oh dear brother, you have so much to learn from your elders." The 'lazy' one gave him the look. "Yeah, yeah, I know. You're older than me blablabla, but we both know I'm smarter than you."

The 'lazy one just rolled his eyes and then walked down the hall towards his classroom, while the 'animated' one just laughed after him. "I'll see you after school, bro!"

The 'lazy' one waved at him behind his back and walked down the hallway. His mind was racing. It was too soon. He just got back from Europe and he already found _him_. It was seriously too soon to face him. He wasn't ready for it. He wasn't ready for _him_.

But deep down he knew that he had no other choice but to accept it. There was a pull at his gut and he groaned miserably. It had started and there was no turning back.

But the most important question was; how was he going to lure a mere broken human being into his crazy life?


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2/12:**

Sam sat down at the cafeteria table with some people from his class. He had forgotten just how friendly people were here, or maybe he never really got the chance to get to know them. He shook his head and tried to catch up on what they were talking about.

"...Yeah, I heard them talking today. Said they are going to throw a big party, because they're back in town."

"Do you think we're invited?"

"I think it's an open party, so everyone can go."

"Hell yeah!"

They cheered and pumped fists, Sam looked at them amused. Kevin, a Japanese looking kid who was a nice guy, turned and asked him. "Are you gonna come?"

"When is it?" he asked curiously.

"I think it's this Saturday. I have to check with the guys first," answered Garth, the scrawny looking guy.

"Whose party is it?" asked Sam, if it was Crowley's he was definitely not going to attend it, even if the guys would try to convince him to go.

"It's the-oh shit, they're here," Kevin said and straightened in his seat to get a better look. The others started whispering to each other excitedly. Sam raised an eyebrow and then turned in his chair and looked at the general direction of the cafeteria's door.

His breath caught as he saw that it was the two boys from the principal’s office. The 'animated' one (he needed to find out their names so he'd stop with his silly nicknames) had a cocky grin on his face as he looked and winked at some girls. While the 'lazy' one looked utterly bored. They were joined in by a red-haired girl who was shorter than them, but looked really pretty. He wondered how short she'd be compared to his looming form. He even had to hunch over to walk through some doors. And he wondered if he'd ever have a chance with her.

As that thought passed through his mind, the girl in question looked at him and then turned to the 'lazy' one, and said something to him. He looked up from the red-haired girl and stared at Sam for a second and then turned his attention back to the girl. The girl said something and it made the 'lazy' one smile. A small quirk of his lips.

Sam found himself wanting to see more of his smile.

Sam frowned and looked down. That was a weird sensation. He looked up again and caught him staring at him for a second and then he was sitting down at a table with the others.

Sam never felt like this before. His gut was churning, his mouth was dry. He swallowed hard and then turned around in his seat, heart hammering against his ribcage.

"I never knew they had a sister," said Kevin.

"She is hot!" replied Garth.

Sam looked at them and then asked, "Who are they?"

Everyone turned and looked at Sam in surprise.

"You don't know them?" Kevin asked, and Sam shook his head. "Hm, weird."

"Why?"

"Because their brother is dating your brother, silly," said Meg as she joined them at the table. "Hi, I'm Meg."

Sam nodded. "Sam."

"Pleasure."

"So, yeah, they're the Novak family."

"I never knew Castiel had brothers and a sister."

"We never knew they had a sister. I think she's been abroad?" said Kevin questioningly, looking at the others on the table. Some of them nodded and some of them shrugged. "Yeah, so we never knew they had a sister, but we do know some things about the brothers."

"People around the school made a big deal out of them, even Erica had this sappy look as she talked to them," said Sam, rolling his eyes. "So, who are they?"

The table was considerably quieter as Kevin started talking. "The Novaks have been part of our town for a long time, as you already know." Sam nodded. He knew about the family's history, of who they were and such, but he never really knew about their kids. "Their dad left them here a few years ago, I don't really know the details of why he left. Honestly, no one knows, but the kids were practically raised by their own brother."

"They have another brother?" asked Sam. That was a pretty big family.

"Yeah, they do," said Kevin. "Before their dad left them here, Michael, that's their oldest brother's name, by the way, went to Europe to study at Law University."

"That's pretty impressive," said Sam.

"Yeah," nodded Kevin. "It is. He used to go here too. He was a popular kid. Everyone who was here at the time he was coming here remembers him clearly. He was like this awesome kid. Everyone loved him. Anyways, as far as we know, he isn't back in town yet. But I'm sure he'll come back soon. He always comes back for Christmas."

"Yeah, he does," said Garth. "When he comes he throws the biggest party ever."

"Did he do that before?" asked Sam, feeling so out of place at once. Was he ever been part of this town? How come he never knew about these things?

"I think so, because while we knew he held those parties, he'd only invite the 'cool' kids from the town," said Garth.

"Do you think it'll be different this year?" asked Kevin.

"If they are already throwing a party for coming back to town, then yes, I'm pretty sure they'll throw this big ass party for Christmas."

"That'd be so cool," said Meg. "They always have awesome alcohol."

"And you only think about drinking yourself to oblivion," said Kevin.

"Yeah, problem with that?" Kevin didn't answer. "Didn't think so."

"What are you even doing here? Last time you hung out with us was like, what? Months ago?" asked Kevin.

"Argh, Kevin. Stop talking to me, please," she groaned and rested her forehead at the top of the table.

Kevin opened his mouth to say something, but Garth kicked him under the table and gave him a warning look. Kevin gave him a murderous look, which he answered with a warning look. Kevin rolled his eyes and turned back to Sam.

"Anyways," Kevin continued. "We never knew Castiel had a sister. They are extremely secretive about it, and I have no idea why. They mostly keep to themselves. I have no idea how they throw these parties and I don't know if they communicate with other people at the parties. But, what's surprising is, how did your brother manage to weasel his way into Castiel's life?"

Sam laughed. "What do you mean?"

"I've been trying to get into Castiel's pants for as long as I remember, but nothing seemed to work," said Meg. "Not one boy, in my entire life, has ever said 'no' to me. But then your brother comes out of nowhere and he is suddenly interested in people. No. More specifically, he is interested in your brother."

"I'm sorry? I guess," Sam said, trying not to laugh at Meg's pouting face.

"Whatever. He is weird."

"Hey, come on, don't talk like that about him," said Sam, a small smile on his lips.

"What do you mean?" asked Garth.

"I asked him if he 'wanted to move some furniture'," Sam choked on his laughter. "And of course he didn't get what I meant, so I explained it to him and then he goes 'Is that a flirtation?' Like, are you kidding me?"

"I would say 'I'm sorry' again, but I won't," said Sam, trying not to laugh.

Meg made a face at Sam and he chuckled, shaking his head. Kevin rolled his eyes and then turned and looked at the Novak's table.

As the time went by people started to talk to each other again, and Sam turned and looked at the Novak's table, too. "So," Kevin turned and looked at him. His voice was low as he asked, "how come you never knew that Castiel had siblings."

Sam shrugged, "I never hang out with him, so I had no idea about them."

"You were away, weren't you?" his voice was friendly, and Sam looked at him sideways, bit down on his lower lip and then nodded. Kevin simply nodded and didn't ask anything, for which Sam was thankful.

"Who is the guy with the button down shirt and that has a lollipop in his mouth?"

Kevin looked at Sam and blushed a bit. Sam frowned at his him, but didn't say anything. "Oh, that's Gabriel," Kevin said, the tips of his ears turning red. "He is the third brother. He is the one that is going to throw the party this Saturday, I think."

Sam nodded and looked at them. Gabriel, the 'animated' one, his mind added helpfully, rolled his lollipop in his mouth and winked at the girls who passed by him. He grinned toothily at his sister who said something to him and he barked out a laughter. Sam's eyes slipped off from them to their other brother, the 'lazy one. He was looking down at his phone in his hands, and was typing furiously in it.

Sam always disliked when people stared, or he stared at people, but he stared at his fingers as they typed away on the screen. His thumbs moved fast over it, his other fingers were more relaxed. Sam blinked several times and then turned and looked at Kevin. "Who's the other one then?"

"That's Luke," said Kevin. Sam noticed that his voice took a different note to it as he talked about Luke. "He is someone you don't want to mess around with."

"What do you mean?" asked Sam, curious.

"They say that he likes to start things," said Kevin. "Fights and stuff like that. I've also heard that he likes to burn stuff if he finds them 'boring'," he shrugged. "If you ask me, I don't believe any of those. I mean, just look at him."

They both turned and looked at Luke who was still typing on his phone. His face was relaxed and he had a small smile tugging at the side of his lips.

"He looks like an angel," said Kevin.

Gabriel laughed out loud and their sister started giggling into her hand. Sam blinked and then frowned. If he was right, no one said anything at their table. But maybe they were laughing at something else. Sam shrugged and focused more on Luke. It looked like he had a sad smile on his face. He wondered if there was anything wrong.

Sam’s frown deepened. He felt a pull in his gut, but he ignored it, again. Instead, he focused more on what Kevin said. Sam tilted his head to the side. Luke looked like an angel.

"Yeah, he does," whispered Sam, not realizing he said it out loud. He raised an eyebrow as Gabriel 'whooped' and stood up from his chair, clapping Luke's back. He said something and their sister was smiling again, and, Sam blinked, Luke had a grin on his face.

Sam felt like he was staring at a different person's face.

His whole face transformed with that smile. He had more worry lines on his face, than the average teenage people did, but they were replaced with laugh lines. His smile was bright, easy, his face was wrinkled up in right places, but Sam felt like his face wasn’t built for smiles.

But nevertheless, Sam surprised himself by the smile that bloomed over his face.

Then he felt trapped. He was staring at the lightest green eyes he has ever stared into. Yes, Dean's eyes were green, too, but they weren't this kind of green. Not like they contained so much suppressed passion in them that made Sam's heart beat faster. And they looked full of secrets.

Sam was never good at reading people, but he could read Luke. He didn't know how, he didn't know why, but he could read the emotions swirling in them. His expression was guarded, and Sam found himself wanting to break the walls down to know what was hidden behind them.

He was pulled out of his reverie as the bell rang, indicating the end of lunch. He shook his head and stood up from his seat, grabbing his bag from the floor. He looked around himself, trying to catch a glimpse of Dean, just remembering about him, and when he did find him he sighed. He and Cas were already leaving the cafeteria.

The others had different classes so he said his goodbye and made his way towards his Lit class.

Because everyone hurried to go to their own classes Sam was late to his own by the time he got there. The class was full and Sam thought he didn't have a seat, but then an empty chair caught his eye. He started towards it but then stopped short as he saw who was occupying the other one.

For one panicky moment he thought of running out of the classroom, as if he never came in. But then Luke looked up at him from his book and then looked back down.

Sam sighed. It was going to be a long lesson. He walked slowly to the empty chair and lowered himself on it. Luke didn't acknowledge his presence, he just flipped to another page from his book, and continued to read. Sam pulled out his notebook from his bag and waited for the class to begin.

Apparently, they were going to read "Of Mice and Men" by John Steinback for their next class. "It is only few pages," their teacher said. "If you'll take time from your lazy activities, you'll be able to read it an hour or two. It is an interesting book." The class gave a collective groan.

Sam didn't mind reading books, and since it was this book, he didn't have to worry about anything. He already read this book in summer. He only had to re-read it again and he'd be ready for the next class.

For today's class, they were going to do a quick quiz. Their teacher wanted to know how much they remembered from last year. The teacher ignored their groans and whining and started to pass them their quiz papers. Sam passed one to Luke and practically dropped it from his hand as their fingers grazed.

He snatched his hand back as if burned. His whole arm was tingling. He hissed and started rubbing on his forearm. He closed his eyes and bit down on his lower lip. It tingled the way it used to do when he… he shook his head. No, he wasn’t supposed to feel like this. He wasn’t supposed to remember it. At all.

Suddenly, he felt angry. He turned his head and looked at Luke who was staring at him with an open curiosity. It made Sam feel even angrier. Sam’s upper lip curled in anger and after a moment of silent staring, Luke turned his head and started on his quiz. Sam breathed in and out, trying to calm himself down. After few minutes the tingling from his arm left completely, and he picked up his pen and started on his own quiz.

After about ten minutes, their teacher called them to finish up with their quiz. They gathered the papers, from the back to the front of the class. Sam was careful not to touch any parts of Luke as he took his paper from in front of him. Who was now staring at him again. Sam shifted in his seat and cleared his throat. His silent staring made Sam even angrier. He didn’t understand what was happening with him. Anxiety? Maybe. Nervousness? Definitely. Anger? Possibly.

Sam closed his eyes and breathed in slowly, to calm himself down. The teacher was speaking again, but he couldn’t hear him. He was trying to calm down as much as possible. He sighed through his nose and cracked his neck.

There was a throat clearing from his left and Sam tensed. He licked his lips and then slowly turned and looked at Luke, who was staring at him with open curiosity. They stared at each other for some time. Luke cocked his head to the side. Sam felt like he was being X-Rayed by the intensity of his staring. Which made him feel even more uncomfortable. What the hell? Why was he staring? Did he have anything on his chin from his lunch? He knew that he could be a messy eater. And as much as he wanted to wipe at his chin, he felt trapped. Like, he didn’t know If he could move at all, or not. But his staring was still unnerving. Did he do this to other people too?

Sam felt angry at himself for not being able to look away. Luke didn’t ask him to stare at him, did he? He just cleared his throat and Sam looked at him and now they were staring.

Luke’s eyes were even lighter up close. In the cafeteria they looked light, but like this… it was a whole another story. They were too light. It was scary but at the same time mesmerizing. Up close he did look like an angel…

“You’re weird,” His voice was deep, manly, and he said it with as much conviction that Sam blinked and did a double take.

“What?” he asked.

“You are not like anyone else I have ever seen in my entire existence,” he continued, as if Sam never spoke. “They did say this was going to happen, but they didn’t warn me how and what I have to go through. This is definitely the weirdest and hardest thing that has ever happened to me.” Sam wanted to ask him a question but was surprised as Luke extended his hand for a handshake. “I’m Luke, by the way, Luke Novak.”

Sam eyed the hand suspiciously. He was scared of shaking it because he thought he’d get the same tingling as he got earlier, but then it was rude letting someone’s hand to hang between them, so he cautiously grasped it and was returned by a firm squeeze. His hand was warm. Too warm. Sam’s lips parted as he breathed out a sigh. He blinked several times and cleared his throat, “I’m Sam. But you already know me.”

“I don’t,” mumbled Luke.

Sam frowned. “Excuse me?”

Luke just gave him a small twitch of a lip and then released his hand. “So.”

“So…?”

“Are you coming for the Saturday party that my brother’s throwing?”

“I thought it was a private party, or something,” Sam knew that it wasn’t, but he had to make sure first before he’d answer.

Luke shook his head. “That’s what my other brother, Michael, used to do. Gabriel isn’t like that. He is more… open.” Luke continued to stare at him, “So… are you going to come?”

 _Do you want me to?_ Sam thought, and he gave himself a mental slap. “I don’t know. Parties aren’t my thing.”

“Why not?” he sounded genuinely curious.

Sam just shrugged. “Too much alcohol and people aren’t my thing.”

“Your brother’s going to be there too, you know?” Luke said, and Sam saw a flicker of emotion pass through his eyes. Was that concern?

Sam narrowed his eyes. “Yeah, I know. He likes that kind of stuff so I figured he’d go.”

“Hmm…” murmured Luke. He stared at Sam and then licked his lips. Sam looked at the motion and then mentally slapped himself again. “Wear that black shirt that you have. To the party. It suits you.”

“How did you know I owned a black shirt?” asked Sam, puzzled and surprised.

Luke smirked at him and then shrugged. “I just know. See you around, Sam.”

And he was out of his chair in a flash as the bell rang, but not before he winked at Sam behind his back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3/12:**

"Stop it."

"I'm not doing anything."

"Yeah, you are. You're smiling and it's creepy," said Gabriel, shuddering.

"I'm not smiling," said Luke as he felt his cheeks burn from stretching. He touched them and frowned through his smile. "I'm smiling?"

His confused voice made Gabriel to stare at him, and then he rolled his eyes, sighing. "Seriously? What the hell do you think I was saying a second ago?"

Luke tried to glare, but couldn't. And it would look silly, because he was still smiling. He couldn't stop himself. It was weird. The last time he smiled like this was probably… he trailed off. He never smiled like this before. He never smiled without a purpose. It was weird. Weirdly weird.

They made their way towards the parking lot after school. Their sister, Charlie, already left them hours ago, because she didn't go to school with them. And the only reason she came with them today was because she wanted to check "if there were any hot girls around". Luke had rolled his eyes at her, while Gabriel cheered her. Castiel wasn't around to say anything. Luke was positive he wouldn't say anything at all.

Luke had his sunglasses on, which were in a dark shade and he could look at anyone without them knowing he was watching. He wasn't going to admit that he was searching the crowd for a certain somebody with boy-ish looks. Whose hair was a bit longer and framed his face perfectly (Luke had to admit that he never thought he'd show interest in any boy with long hair). Who had deep brown eyes with golden irises, which would shine whenever he'd laugh. And who was tall. Really, mind-blowingly tall. Tall and muscly.

Honestly, Luke tired not to stare, but he couldn't. Once he saw him making his way towards his brother's car, he couldn't look away. Sam was with his brother and Castiel and an extremely short Japanese guy, who was talking animatedly with Sam and was making him laugh and smile. It seemed like they were discussing something that Luke couldn't hear because there was too much noise, too many people talking over each other. It was hard for him to concentrate only on one person.

Luke didn't know that he his hands balled up in fists, or that his gut was wrenching in painful twists, and he was having a hard time breathing.

He took an angry step forward.

Several things happened at once; Castiel quickly turned and looked at him, whispering his name in warning, Dean walked towards him, looking confused. And Luke felt someone grab his arm in a vice like grip.

"Easy there, brother," said Gabriel, squeezing his shoulder in warning. "He doesn't know you and you going there and doing something crazy won't help your case. At all. It'll only complicate things. Can't you see?"

Luke's jaw hurt from how much he was clenching his teeth angrily. He never felt jealousy like this before. Sure, he felt jealous of his oldest brother that his Father always preferred over him, but it never felt like this. It was raw and painful and it made him sick.

"Take him home, Gabriel. Now." Luke looked at Castiel.

"You don't order me around," growled Luke at him, whose expression turned grim. He heard him. Good.

"I'll take him home," Gabriel said and nodded at Castiel, before pulling Luke towards his car.

"I'm perfectly capable of going home by myself, Gabe."

"Yeah, I know, but you are not going to," said Gabriel shrugging. "Come on."

Luke literally growled at him and shrugged off Gabriel's hand from his shoulder. "No." He said in a tone of voice that breached no arguments. He walked towards where his motorcycle was parked. He swung his leg over it, put his helmet on and then took off as fast as he could from there. But not fast enough to miss hearing Castiel whisper, "Drive safe".

* * *

 

Luke didn't go home that night and when he showed up in the middle of lunchtime the next day at school and dropped on the seat next to Gabriel's, he didn't acknowledge him.

"Where were you?" asked Gabriel, few minutes later, almost conversationally. Luke knew it was his way of peace offering. He was always the peace maker in their house.

"Out," he answered shortly. He was wearing his sunglasses again. Maybe he had too much to drink last night.

"You staying, or going?" asked Gabriel as he ate a slice of pizza. Luke didn't answer, instead, he looked around the cafeteria; searching.

When he found him his heart did a double take and he left a long suffering sigh.

He was wearing a tight, navy, long-sleeved shirt. Which hugged his everything. He was sitting at the side of the table where Luke could see his profile. He had an easy smile on his face as he interacted with his friends. And he looked tired. He had bags under his eyes. Luke frowned. As he watched further he noticed two things; Sam had shaved and he didn't touch his food.

If he tried to say that the heavy sinking feeling wasn't concern, he'd be lying. Why wasn't he eating? Maybe he didn't like the cafeteria food? It wouldn't be that surprising since a lot of the students disliked it and brought their own lunch with them. But he was using the cafeteria food, but he didn't touch it. Luke was concerned.

"You're staring."

Castiel's voice cut through his thoughts and he searched the crowd to find his brother. He was sitting two tables away from Sam's. Dean was with him. Luke looked at him and then shrugged.

"You need to stop staring. It'll make it worse, Luke. Trust me. I know," said Castiel in gravely tone.

Luke didn't say anything. Instead he kept staring at Castiel. Castiel sat more upright, squared his shoulders and held his gaze. Luke was always proud of his bravery. He might have a small body frame, but if he wanted he'd be crazy intimidating.

They'd do this a lot, whenever they disobeyed orders from each other they'd stare and wait for one of them to look away first. The first time when this happened it was between Michael and Luke and that didn't end up well. With Castiel, it was different. Both boys held a mutual love and respect towards each other and it never ended up in a fight. They valued their brotherhood too much to end this with bloodied knuckles and split lips. And if they did fight, it felt like they were fighting their enemy.

Luke sighed and shook his head. Castiel's defensive stance relaxing as he did so. He got up from his chair and slowly made his way out of the cafeteria, without looking back or at anyone. Especially, him.

* * *

 

From the corner of his eyes, Sam saw as Luke stood up from his table and slowly made his way out from the cafeteria.

"Won't he get in trouble?" he asked, frowning.

Kevin turned and looked at where Sam was looking at and saw Luke leaving. He shrugged, "Maybe he will. Maybe he won't. I don't know. We never know how the Novak's work and how they can get out of so much trouble."

Sam nodded and didn't say anything. He tuned their voices off as he concentrated on what he was feeling right now. It was weird. He had never felt like this about anyone before. Even when he had a girlfriend he never really felt anything towards her. While, yes, she was beautiful, and every guy would die to have her as their girlfriend, he felt nothing but respect towards her. She'd always call him names and tell him that he was weak and undeserving of her love, which he'd agree with. In the end she left and Sam had never felt so relieved about it.

He never felt right when he was with her. He felt like he was incomplete with her.

The things he was feeling right now was something he had never encountered before. He had this pull in his heart that was urging him to go after Luke. It was terrifying and it somehow it felt right.

He looked around himself and then when he was about to get up, there was a hand on his shoulder. He looked up and saw Castiel looking down at him, a small frown on his face. "A word, please?"

"Yeah, sure," they walked a bit away from his table and faced each other. Sam leaned against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest. "What's up?"

Castiel looked around him for a bit and then asked, "Are you going to come to the party?"

Sam looked at him surprised. This wasn't a question he anticipated. "Uhm yeah, I-I guess? Since you guys are going and the guys are going to go too, I figured I might tag along?" he finished uncertainly.

Castiel nodded and then looked up at him. Sam didn't know why, but was sure that whatever he was about to say was going to be pretty serious. "At the party, stay close with someone that you know and trust."

"Cas, what do you mean?"

"You can stay with any of my siblings, too, and you can trust them as well, okay?" said Castiel, looking at him seriously.

"Is there something wrong? What's going on?" asked Sam, but Castiel was shaking his head and was backing off.

"Just promise me that you do as I said."

"I can take care of myself."

"I know," said Castiel, a small smile playing at the corner of his lip. "Just do as I said and everything will be okay, yeah?"

With that he turned and fast walked to where Dean was waiting for him. Dean waved at him and then took Castiel's hand. They both left the cafeteria without looking back, heads close and talking fast to each other.

After lunch break was over, Sam walked with Kevin to where their locker were. Kevin was talking about the assignment that they had to do for chemistry, but Sam was barely paying attention to him. His mind was preoccupied with what Castiel told him. He did look concerned and worried in a way that left Sam with no other choice but to accept Castiel's plea. If Castiel said to stay close with someone he trusted then he was going to do just that. After all, he wouldn't say such a thing to him without a reason, and this was, technically, his first 'party' after summer. It was too close to the summer's events and he didn't know how if he was going to last there for an hour, at least.

He sighed and unlocked his locker. He was about to pull out his books when he stopped. "What the…?" Garth peeked into his locker, since his was next to Sam's, and gasped so loudly that half of the corridor turned and looked his way. Kevin joined them from Sam's other side and his eyes doubled up in size.

"No way…"

"Oh my God!" Garth exclaimed so loudly that everyone was watching him. Sam looked at him, alarmed, he was about to close the door when Meg came behind him and looked into it too.

"Oh, fuck me."

There were murmurs from people around them and Sam was getting a prickly feeling from his neck. As if someone was watching him. Well, of course, people were watching him, but it felt like there were a pair of eyes that were concentrated exactly on him, not on the scene.

"Oh my God," breathed Garth again and Sam snapped back to reality and looked at the three of them. They looked right back at him in wonder.

"Can someone please tell me what the hell is that thing doing in my locker?" Sam said, his voice low. He was trying not to attract too much attention to it, but since he was friends with them there was no such thing as being too careful.

Garth frowned, "You don't know?"

"Well, if he didn't know, he wouldn't ask," Kevin said helpfully. Meg stayed quiet.

"No, seriously, dude. You don't know?" Garth asked in disbelieving tone, still frowning.

"Don't know what?" asked Sam. He felt lost. Completely.

"I mean, since your brother's dating Castiel, I thought you'd know how they got together. Since it's the Novak's sign," said Garth.

"The Novak's sign?"

"You've been claimed," said Kevin, shrugging as if he was commenting on the weather.

"C-claimed?" choked out Sam. "What?"

"You've been claimed by one of the Novak's'."

Silence.

Sam shifted. "Okay. Explain."

Kevin locked his locker and then leaned against it, his books in his hands. "They have this way to tell someone that they like them. But you won't know who it is, until they'll think it's the right time to… make the second move towards you."

"The first move is to claim you as the person they chose for them," continued Garth. "It's seriously an old thing to do. No one claims someone unless they are gonna get married, but in their case, it's different."

"Do you remember when Dean got his?" asked Kevin, titling his head forward a bit to look at Garth.

"Ooh yes. He was all over the place," said Garth. "Total geek moment for your brother. Because Castiel decided to give him an "Angel Blade"."

"A what?" asked Sam. Of course he knew what an Angel Blade was, but what the hell?

"An Angel Blade," said Kevin looking at Sam. "I hope you heard of it, right?"

"Of course. How did Cas got hold of it? I mean, they were gone from Earth. Thousands of years ago. No living person ever saw one."

"And yet, Castiel got hold of it, and now, it's in your brother's hands."

"Okay. What happened next?" How in the world Dean kept this from him? It was beyond him. They practically shared everything that would happen in their lives. He couldn't believe Dean kept this from him. He pursed his lips in annoyance.

"You know your brother. He had a total geek meltdown right in the middle of the hallway."

"Everyone was looking at him. Thinking he was going to lose his head," added Garth.

Kevin nodded, agreeing. "He didn't, of course, but he was close to losing it."

"We wouldn't be surprised."

"So yeah, no one knew what it meant or why it was in Dean's locker, but then one day we see him hanging out with Castiel, and then the rumors started to spread like wildfire around the school."

"After that, everyone started to check their everything, literally, because they thought that they were going to be the next on who attracted the Novaks."

"And now we know," said Kevin looking pointedly at Sam.

Sam shifted his height and looked back down into his locker. "So, you mean to tell me that one of the Novak's is attracted to me?"

"More or less. I wouldn't call it an 'attraction' or a 'crush', because it's something… more, with them. It's always something more."

Sam nodded. But then frowned and shook his head slowly. He looked up at Kevin. "I don't want a relationship."

"You have no choice."

"What do you mean?"

"If they claimed, then they claimed. There's no in between, there's no going back. They will drag you down, whether you want to or not."

"Like hell they will," said Sam fiercely.

"Are you sure?" asked Kevin, an amused smile on his lips.

"Yes."

"Then why are you holding that as if your life depends on it?"

Sam looked down and frowned. In his hand, clutching on a dead grip, was his claim which was a red rose. It smelled divine. It smelled like heaven. Sam couldn't help himself, he brought it up to his nose and took a sniff. It smelled amazing.

He felt eyes on him and he turned and started to look around the hallway. There was no one in there that was looking at him. He gently placed the rose back in his locker and then slowly shook his head. "I don't think I can do this."

"Why not?" asked Garth.

"I'm not looking for any kind of relationship. Not now anyways. But… I don't know guys. I don't like boys."

At this both of them chuckled at his statement. Garth said, "It doesn't matter to them if you do or not."

Kevin nodded, "If they cared about it, they wouldn't lay a claim."

"How am I to know, which one of them it is?"

"They'll approach you. Soon," said Kevin. Garth nodded.

He grabbed his books from his lockers and then bid them good bye as he headed for his class. Meg looked at Sam for a minute and then walked after Garth, since they were in the same class together. It struck Sam weird, that Meg didn't say any word throughout the whole conversation.

Sam carefully closed his locker and adjusted his books in his hand. He was about to turn and ask if Kevin was ready to go to class when suddenly, he felt the same prickling feeling at the back of his neck. Someone was watching him. He frowned and then looked to his right. People were walking here and there, leaving for their next class, kissing their friends goodbye, but only one person caught Sam's eyes.

Luke was at the far end of the corridor. He was leaning against the wall, with his leg hooked up. He was wearing black from head to toe, with black leather jacket, and he had black glasses on. Sam licked his lips slowly. He looked different from the others.

Sam couldn't look away from him.

Slowly, every sound, every move, faded away. There was a pull in his gut, a raw need, but he clutched his books tighter, and didn't move from where he stood. But he wanted to. He wanted to so bad.

Luke tilted his head to the side and gave him a small smile.

Sam swallowed. His mouth suddenly gone dry. He felt like he had to go to Luke. Like he had to go to him and take him in his arms and just hug him, because he needed to be closer to him. It was an alarming feeling. It was too strong and too intense.

It scared him. He licked his lips again.

"Sam?" there moment was broken by Kevin's voice. Everything went back to normal and Sam blinked. He quickly turned and looked at Kevin. "Ready to go?"

Sam turned back to his right and saw that the wall at the end of the hallway was empty once again. Sam shook his head and took a deep steadying breath, before replying. "Yeah, let's go."

Whatever Sam did, he couldn't concentrate in class now. His mind kept wandering back to the rose in his lockers. And Luke.

Especially, him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews and comments are appreciated :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4/12:**

Sam stared at his messy wardrobe miserably. He had no idea what to wear. He could hear Dean getting out of the shower and into his bedroom where he was sure that he already picked out something to wear. Sam didn't know how he did it, but Dean was always ready to party. He started music on his iPod and started to sing with it. Sam grimaced at his off-key singing. He still didn't understand how someone like Castiel could choose someone like his brother. And the way Cas always looked at Dean, with adoration and love, it always made Sam warm inside knowing that Dean had actually found someone who would always be there for him.

Sam shook his head and then looked into his wardrobe once more. He had t-shirts, light sweaters, button downs, but none of them looked appealing to him. He sighed and then turned from his wardrobe and walked towards his bed. He sat down on it, rested his head on his hand and then looked at the wall of his bedroom.

The first week of the school was interesting. And Sam actually found himself waking up in the mornings without anxiety or being upset over the fact that he had to go to school. He actually did homework, raised his hand in classes, and answered questions. And most importantly, he made friends. There were a bunch of different types of people, but he liked hanging out with them. They were fun.

But there was still that nagging feeling at the back of his neck that he disliked having. He wanted to know which one of the Novaks sent him the rose.

Sam never thought of himself as a flower kind of a guy. Not that he ever thought about flowers, since his last relationships didn't get him anywhere. And besides, he never thought that anyone was going to make a move towards him. Considering what he had been through this summer. And the start of this year.

Sam sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. He had to get ready. But then he glanced down at his night table's first drawer, which was open a bit, and he opened it wider. Inside it, there was the rose where he hid it. He bit his lower lip in a nervous habit and then picked it up. It still felt warm and, somehow, familiar. It still smelled the same as it did the first time. He brought it up to his nose, inhaled and closed his eyes as he smelled heaven, literally, again.

He gripped it tighter and frowned. He felt like there was someone,  _somewhere_  close to him. His hand was stinging from something but he couldn't open his eyes. It was getting warmer and warmer and he could see someone, a shadow of a person, walking towards him, really slowly. As if this was happening in a dream. Sam's heart was beating faster and faster as the shadow got closer to him. He took a shuddering breath as it stopped right in front of him. It was warm. Hot summer warm and Sam felt sweat dripping from the corner of his brow. He wanted to wipe it away, but he couldn't move.

He gripped the rose tighter in his hand.

" _Sammy…"_

The shadow cocked its head to the side, and the gesture looked freakishly familiar and Sam wanted to say something but he couldn't. He felt like his tongue was stuck to the roof of his mouth. He felt the shadow smile. And he needed to get out of here as soon as he could. He didn't know where he was anymore. Was he still in his bedroom? Wasn't he supposed to get ready for something?

The voice chuckled. Sam took another shuddering breath and stared at the shadow, wanting to see who it was. But he couldn't.

" _Sammy…"_  The voice said again, and it sounded so familiar, but Sam couldn't point out whose voice it was.  _"Open your eyes."_  It was a whispered command.

Sam opened his eyes and took a big gasping breath, as if he was underwater this whole time. He looked down at himself and saw that he was covered, from head to toe, in sweat. And he was breathing harder than usual. His heart was beating extremely fast. His hands were shaking and he was feeling lightheaded. He squeezed his eyes shut and then opened them again.

He was back in his bedroom. He was still covered in sweat and his heart was still beating fast, but thankfully he was back in his bedroom. His hand was stinging and he looked down and saw that it was covered in blood from squeezing the rose. All this time he had been squeezing it in his hand, that's why it was stinging, and that's why it was covered in blood. The thorns must've hurt the inside of his hand. He looked at it in surprise. When did that happen? He placed the rose on his night table and then took the box of tissues and started to wipe the blood off. Once he was done he looked down at his hand and saw that it wasn't as bad looking as he anticipated it to look. He then took the rose and started to wipe the blood off from it too. Surprisingly, it wasn't bent or anything. It still looked and felt firm. Sam shook his head and then placed it back into the drawer.

He looked at the watch on his table and groaned. They were supposed to leave in 30 minutes and he still didn't know what to wear. He grabbed a towel from his wardrobe and started to wipe away the sweat from his body as he looked into his wardrobe again.

He was desperately trying to not to think about what  _he_ suggested him to wear. And he still thought he was a creep. Only creeps knew what a person owned without actually ever talking to them or anything.

He started to rummage through his clothes again. There was literally nothing to wear to a party. Especially, when the whole school was going to be there. Did they even have that big of a house to hold so many people in anyway?

"Aye-yo Sam! You ready?" Dean called, as he passed by his door.

Sam pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.

"Yeah, I'm coming. Hold on," he said and then, growling, he grabbed his black button down shirt. He tugged it on and wore a pair of his jeans with black boots. He ruffled his hair, still not looking at a mirror, and then touched his jawline. He needed a shave, but from what it felt, it wouldn't look that bad.

Few minutes later he walked down the stairs and saw Dean fetching his phone from the coffee table and checking it. "Ready?" he asked as he made his way towards the front door.

Sam only nodded and followed him out. They made their way towards the Impala. Dean took off as soon as they were seated.

The drive to the Novaks house was silent, save for Dean's music playing in the background. It looked like it was going to rain pretty soon. He hoped that the party was being held inside the house, not outside of it.

His question was answered as Dean pulled into a driveway that led towards the Novaks house. There were people mingling outside with drinks in their hands and he already could hear the music coming from inside the house.

"Cool, huh?" said Dean, a smile in his voice.

Sam hummed in approval. He wanted to calm down before he had to go in. He was already feeling anxiety clawing up inside of him. Dean stopped the car when he found an open space to park it and then turned and looked at Sam, who had his hands clenching in his lap.

"You okay?" Dean asked.

Sam looked at him and shrugged his shoulder. "Yeah. I guess."

"Look, if you feel, I don't know, pressured or anything, come and find me, and we'll leave, ok?"

"Dean-" Sam started but Dean shook his head and looked at him.

"Okay?" he asked again. Sam had no choice but to nod. "Good. If you want to drink-"

"Dean, I'm not going to drink or anything. Trust me," Sam said. "I don't."

"I'm just saying, be careful what you'll pick. Yeah?"

"Yes. Okay. Can we go in now?" Sam needed to get out before he totally lost his shit.

"Yeah."

They climbed out of the car and Dean walked toward some guys that he knew from school. Sam looked up at the house. It was huge. It was a three floored house and the first level of the house had from floor to ceiling windows, some other parts of the house had them too. Sam could see people dancing in what Sam presumed was the living room. There were a lot of people there. A lot more than Sam thought there'd be. He swallowed and licked his lips.

He nervously made his way toward the front door and flinched a bit as the music hit him from all over the place. It was really loud and he walked through the gang of dancing people to where the bar was.

"Water, please," he said as the bartender gave him a weird look and then the bottle of water. Sam nodded at him and took a swig from his bottle. He was probably the only teenager in this party who was drinking a bottle of  _water._  Sam looked around and he had to admit that he was rather impressed by the whole setting.

It looked like a beautiful living room, from what Sam could see, as it was pretty dark and there were disco lights casting on the dance-floor, literally from everywhere. They had a DJ, who had an upper platform and was dancing and cheering people on. If there wouldn't be any sorts of problems, Sam would've been impressed by the whole party. But of course there would be problems.

Sam was about to take a swig from his bottle when he saw the person that made his life hell in school throughout the last semester. He swallowed thickly as Crowley took a seat at the bar, far from where Sam was sitting, and ordered something from the bartender. He was with new people that Sam didn't recognize. He turned around on his chair and looked at the dancing people, desperately hoping that Crowley wouldn't see him sitting there, all by himself. The chances of Crowley making his way towards him was high and he'd rather not meet him.

At all. If possible.

He searched the crowd, desperately trying to find a sign of Dean or Castiel, or anyone. But there was no one and he was getting panicky and he was already about to get his phone from his pocket and text Dean and ask him to take him home when-

"Good thing you took my advice on that shirt," a familiar voice said. Sam sharply turned around and looked at Luke, who was sitting in the chair right beside his, looking as bored as any other day. "It suits you." He said, a smirk on his lips.

Sam licked his lips and then blinked a few times, trying to calm his racing heart. He focused on what Luke said and then replied as casually as he could. "W-well, I didn't have anything else to wear."

Luke's smirk widened, but didn't say anything. Instead he turned around and observed the grinding teenagers in front of him. "Cool party, huh?"

Sam nodded. "Yeah."

"I don't like parties," he continued. "But Gabe knows how to throw one, so we let him."

"Gabe?" asked Sam.

Luke turned and looked at him, "Short for Gabriel. And I'm the only one allowed to call him that."

Sam looked at him and blinked. "It wasn't like I was going to call him that."

"Yeah, but, just saying."

Sam pursed his lips and then realized his hands were still shaking. He felt Luke looking at his face and then at his hands, and then back up again. "You want something stronger?" he asked and Sam shook his head.

He held up his water and said, "I'm fine with this."

Luke smirked and then shrugged. "Whatever tickles your fancy," he said. "Scotch, please."

Sam rolled his eyes and then took a swig from his bottle. "Aren't you young for drinking that?" asked Sam as Luke practically swallowed the whole glass in one go. And Sam totally did not check how his Adam's apple bobbed as he drunk it. Totally did not.

Okay, he did.

Sam licked his lips and then looked down at his hands, taking a deep breath through his nose.

"No one cares how old you are at home parties. Trust me."

"What if the cops come in?" asked Sam, unable to keep out the concern from his voice.

Luke smirked at him and then cocked his head to the side. "They won't," he drawled, and then ordered another one.

They sat together in comfortable silence. People kept dancing and some of them were grinding against each other. Sam could see some of them were already sporting boners, and he didn't know why he noticed that. He shook his head and then felt eyes on him. He looked to his right and saw Luke looking at him.

A smile tugged at the corner of his lips. "What?" he asked.

"You wanna dance?" asked Luke, and Sam could swear that his voice sounded lower somehow. And Sam's knees felt shaky somehow.

"Oh," he said. "Uhm… I don't dance."

Luke gave him a small smile. He stood up from his chair, placed his glass on the bar, and then took a small step towards Sam. "I'm having a hard time believing that," his voice was deep and his breath fanned over Sam's face.

Sam swallowed hard and then nodded slowly. The smile that Luke gave him was almost blinding.

They somehow managed to make their way towards the center of the dance floor. Sam felt himself being squished by the sweaty bodies of the dancing people. He slowly danced to the music, awkwardly moving from side to side and looking anywhere but at Luke who was dancing in front of him. He looked like he was having the best time of his life. Dancing here, with Sam. And he looked familiar with dancing moves, because damn if he couldn't move for someone who was so uptight and looked bored. Sam glanced at him and oh god, it was a wrong decision.

Luke's face was shining. Literally shining. He looked content, happy, he looked like an  _angel_. Apparently, Sam was staring at him with his mouth hanging open, because Luke smiled at him, like a big ass smile, and then nudged at his chin. Sam snapped his mouth shut and then started to move to the beat of the music.

He looked around himself as he danced and then his whole body just froze. The music faded, and his breathing got shallower as he saw that Crowley was looking at him. The ever present smirk was on his lips. Sam swallowed as Crowley raised his glass and gave him a salute. He drank it, without moving his eyes from Sam. He then gave him a wink. Sam took an unsteady step back.

Suddenly there were hands on his waist and a warm body was pressing close to his. He closed his eyes as he felt Luke's heart beating close to his. He gripped Luke's arms and swallowed. He then rested his head against Luke's, their cheeks touching, and Sam was practically wrapped with his scent.

It was mouthwatering. It was addicting.

Sam took a deep breath and memorized the scent. Luke was swaying with him slowly to the upbeat music. His arms were strong around his waist. Sam wrapped his arms around his shoulders and instinctively they held on even tighter.

Sam dropped his head on Luke's shoulder and then nuzzled his neck with the tip of his nose. Luke's hands tightened on him.

"You smell nice," Sam murmured, and hoped Luke wouldn't hear him. But of course he did, because he chuckled. It was a familiar chuckle that Sam heard before, but right now he couldn't place where he'd heard it before.

Sam was sure that he didn't drink anything other than water, and yet right now, he felt lightheaded, fuzzy, and almost drunk. He nuzzled at Luke's neck again, and felt him shiver a bit.

By the time the music changed, they were practically glued to each other. Sam didn't know whose arm belonged to whom, and he found himself not caring at all. He was pleasantly warm, and he really didn't want to be in another place, in another person's arms at all. He liked it here.

Luke nosed at his jawline and Sam felt lips there. Sam tightened his hold on Luke, if it was possible to tighten it more. He lifted his head up from Luke's shoulder and slowly moved his head to rest on Luke's. Their noses touched and Sam could swear his whole body turned into a firework at the small touch.

Their breathings mingled together as they breathed with open mouth. Sam licked his lips and one of his hands moved up and into Luke's short hair, tangling his fingers into them and pulling at them lightly. Luke's mouth opened up a bit with a gasp and Sam squeezed his shut eyes.

All he had to do was to lean in just a tiny bit and he could kiss him. Just a tiny-tiny bit.

His mouth had gone dry and he held on to Luke harder. He was thankful that Luke wasn't pushing it, that he was waiting for it. And Sam was holding back. He didn't know why he was holding back. It was there. All he had to do was to lean in and kiss him. Why wasn't he doing it?

He took a shuddering breath and leaned in a bit. His lips were almost touching Luke's and he could  _taste_ Luke's breath on his lips. He could even feel the pull in his gut that was pushing him to kiss Luke. Even his lips felt like they had a magnet in them or something.

He was so close.

He could feel Luke's excitement and anticipation too. He was gripping at Sam's shirt as if his life depended on it. As if, if Sam didn't kiss him right now he'd die from it.

_Come on,_ Sam thought,  _don't be a coward. Just do it! He is right there. He is hot and beautiful and angelic and perfect, all you gotta do is to kiss him and that's it. You don't have to do anything that you won't like. Just kiss him. Come on, Sam._

Sam gripped Luke's hair tighter and his breathing turned ragged. He tightened his hold on Luke and tried to calm down, but couldn't. Panic was consuming him from all the corners of his body. He let out a strangled noise.

"It's okay," Luke whispered suddenly. He turned his head to the side and moved towards his ear. "It's okay," he repeated again and his voice was so soft that Sam felt weak in the knees.

Luke placed a feather-like kiss on his cheek and squeezed him close before letting him go and taking a step back. Sam opened his eyes and saw that Luke had a small contented smile on his face, his eyes were shining with something that Sam couldn't place.

He looked beautiful.

He swallowed.

Sam opened his mouth to say something, anything but then Luke gave him another smile and then slowly backed away into the crowd.

Sam watched him until he couldn't see him anymore and he was lost in the crowd.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided to post the chapters daily, I hope you're enjoying them.
> 
> Reviews are always welcome.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5/12:**

Sam woke up with a start. He sat up in a bed and blinked. This wasn't his bedroom. The bed wasn't his. He frowned and looked around himself in confusion. Yep. Definitely not his bedroom.

Sam swung his legs off the bed and looked around the room. The walls and the ceiling were a pleasant blue. The floors were covered in soft carpet that made Sam wiggle his toes in. There was a small desk at the far side of the bedroom, a bookshelf, and a door which looked like a walk-in closet. Sam turned around from where he was sitting and had to take a deep breathe, because the bedroom was really big. Big enough to hold a royal piano. It was situated right in front of one of those big windows, which was from floor to the ceiling.

The sun was filtering in softly through it and all Sam could see were tall trees and the gray sky. It was a beautiful sight.

Sam rubbed a hand over his eyes and then looked around the bedroom when his eyes landed on something on the desk. It was a helmet. It was black with icy blue stripes on it. And Sam knew only one person who owned a motorcycle and it was Luke.

Sam froze. He was in Luke's bedroom. The memories from yesterday were slowly crawling back and Sam closed his eyes. It was all clicking into its rightful places in his mind.

After his 'dance' with Luke (which was making Sam's gut twist in an extremely uncomfortable way), he hung out with Kevin and Garth, talked to them for a bit and then decided to take a walk around the house. He then proceeded to walk up the stairs to find an empty room to relax for a bit. He didn't find any on the second floor, which was unsurprising. He then walked up the stairs to the third floor, where it was surprisingly empty. He sighed and tried to open the first door on his right side, but it was closed. He then looked at the door at the end of the hall and felt a pull towards it. Sam felt suddenly tired and sleepy, so he decided to follow that pull into the bedroom.

He blearily remembered opening the door and walking towards the bed and smacking down on it, face first, and falling asleep in a second.

But he definitely had his shoes on. Because he didn't stop to take them off before going into bed.

Maybe Luke came in to sleep and saw that Sam shamelessly used his bed for a 'nap' but which turned out to falling asleep? He felt embarrassed by how he behaved in front of Luke two times in one night.

He shook his head and walked towards the walk-in closet and clicked the light on. He raised his eyebrows on how it was organized. Sam thought since he owned a motorcycle, he wouldn't be this… clean. He didn't know why he thought that, but it seemed right with the whole bad boy looks and whatever. He didn't snoop in there, because he at least respected privacy. So he turned to his right, and sure enough, there was another door which would lead him to the bathroom. He walked in and his eyes went wide. Okay. Having a royal piano in a bedroom was one thing, but having a bathroom that was half the size of the bedroom was another thing. It had one of those big showers and Sam just shook his head at it.

He knew that the Novaks were rich, but he didn't realize that they were this rich. He looked down and saw that his clothes were wrinkled and he felt underdressed. In a bathroom. It was ridiculous.

He made his way to the toilet, relieved himself, and then walked to the sink to wash his hands. He splashed some water on his face and then leaned against the sink. When he was done he quickly walked out of the bathroom and through the closet to the bedroom. He was just about to walk towards the door, where he spotted his shoes were, when the door opened and Luke walked in with a tray of food. His head was down, concentrating on the tray, but when he closed the door after him he looked up. His face was blank, but Sam could see the sudden change in his eyes.

They stared at each other for a bit and then Luke walked to the desk, placed the tray of food on it, and then turned and leaned against it.

"Breakfast," he said, crossing his arms over his chest. It made the muscles of his arms buff out a bit. And Sam noticed it. But he shouldn't have.

"Thanks," replied Sam, a moment later. "But I have to go."

"You brother's is in my brother's bedroom. Sleeping." Luke said. "Hopefully." He added as an afterthought.

Sam sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Now he didn't know what to do. He looked at Luke who was still staring at him, with a small smile on his face. He tilted his head to the tray by his side. It did look good, and it smelled good too. Sam's mouth watered and he was hungry, so he had no choice, but to walk to it.

"Did you make it?" he asked as a way of conversation. He idly noticed that he was a head taller than him.

"Hmm? Oh, no. I don't cook."

"Huh," said Sam. He chewed on it and said. "It's good."

Luke smirked, "I'll make sure to pass the compliment to the cook."

They were silent after that. Sam eating his food, while Luke leaned against the desk, arms crossed over his chest and looking out of the window. The sun was fully cascading through it and it was really bright in the room. It was warm. And it wasn't the first time that Sam wished he could just wear a t-shirt or something that wasn't long-sleeved. But it was almost autumn time, so he had a reason to wear them.

When he finished, drinking the coffee in two gulps, he turned around and leaned against the desk too. He was few inches from where Luke was leaning against. He had his hands by his side now, and he was leaning on them, there was a small space between his hand and Sam's hip. Sam looked down at the space and wondered if he could rest his hand there without touching Luke's.

"Last night was fun," said Luke conversationally. He was still looking away. Sam lifted his head and looked at Luke's profile.

"Yeah, it was," agreed Sam, because he had to reply back somehow and not be distracted by Luke's jawline and light stubble there. Or the soft hair at the nape of his neck.

"Too bad someone had to fall asleep in the middle of it," continued Luke.

"Oh, hey! I was tired. And too many people is tiring."

"Why?" Luke looked at him sharply, his light green eyes boring into Sam's. Sam swallowed hard, his mouth suddenly dry and he could feel the pull again. He squashed it down and shrugged.

"I don't know. I have always been anti-social, not like Dean who'd give everything to go to a party and get completely smashed."

"I noticed that you don't drink either."

Sam nodded, and looked down. "Yeah, I don't."

"Why not?"

Sam shrugged but didn't answer. Because he didn't know how to explain this without fucking up.

Sam looked up at him and found that Luke was still watching him with calculating gaze. As if, if he stared enough he'd somehow find the answers from it. They were strangers. They talked few times at school and yesterday at the party.

Oh my God, the party! He almost, almost, kissed a total stranger. Ok, not a total, but technically a stranger. It was bizarre. It was weird. It was just not right. But he felt right at that moment. He felt right by dancing with Luke, letting him close to him, grinding together to the rhythm of the music and touching.

Sam frowned. They touched yesterday while they were dancing, but he didn't feel anything on his arms. Maybe he was too distracted by Luke's breath on his neck? No, it couldn't be that. Because whatever he felt the other day when their hands accidently touched wasn't something that Sam wouldn't feel even if he was higher than a kite.

Sam winced at the quote. Definitely not the right thing to quote.

"Are you finished here?" asked Luke and moved from the desk. Sam was not disappointed by it.

"Uhm, yeah. Thanks again."

Luke nodded. "Do you wanna go for a walk?"

Sam smiled at that and nodded.

 

* * *

 

There wasn't anyone on the first floor when they made their way out of the house from the backdoor of the kitchen. It really was a beautiful day.

Sam looked up and saw that the sky was clear and it wasn't going to rain anytime soon. He hummed and started walking alongside Luke. He looked down and caught Luke looking at him, but he wasn't quick enough to turn his head in time to catch him staring.

Sam smirked at that. So it was going to be this way, huh? He thought and then shook his head, chuckling.

Luke turned and looked at him, but Sam only shook his head.

They walked silently, side by side. Luke was wearing a khaki colored t-shirt, which hugged his body, basically leaving nothing to imagination. Sam cleared his throat and looked away, because he was staring and he had this urge to touch Luke's neck, because it was just there and it looked white under the sun and he just wanted to touch it.

"Any plans for the weekend?" asked Luke, out of the blue.

Sam blinked and looked up at him. He looked relaxed, his green eyes soft and warm. Welcoming.

Sam knew that he was staring but he couldn't stop it. He looked different. He looked… He just looked different.

"Uhm," his voice came out all wrong. He cleared his throat. "I don't know yet, but homework and a nap is at the top of my list right now."

"Do you sleep a lot?"

"Uh, kind of? I mean, if I don't go to bed at a certain time at night, I won't be able to wake up in the morning for school. Even Dean won't be able to wake me up."

"I'm usually a light sleeper. But I can go on days without it," said Luke.

"Insomniac?"

"I wouldn't call me that, but yes, you could say that."

"Huh."

They were silent. They were far off from the house now, and there were trees that were surrounding them now. And the sun wasn't glaring down on them as it did few minutes ago.

"Do we have to write an essay for that Lit book?"

Sam was snapped out of his thoughts and he looked at Luke, who was looking down thoughtfully. "Uhm… I don't know, maybe? He didn't say anything, did he?"

"I don't remember it, but it'd be best if we checked. I don't really want to fail any of my classes now," said Luke.

It was weird seeing him talking about school like that, because he didn't even look like a teenager. Or someone who should be at school. Sam knew that they weren't that close to ask him, but he figured if they were going to be friends, he could ask questions like that.

"How old are you?" blurted out Sam before he could think of a way to approach the subject.

Luke almost stopped and looked at him, a surprised expression on his face. "Sorry?"

Sam felt himself blushing. He shuffled his foot on the ground and then stuttered out, "I just… You look older than all of the school kids together. Same goes for Gabriel and Castiel. You guys look old enough to be, like, I don't know."

He trailed off and then shrugged, a nervous laughter leaving his lips.

Luke bit his lower lip and then sighed. He started walking again and Sam followed. After a moment of silence, Luke said, "We were mostly home schooled. I and my siblings didn't really go to school when we were in Italy. Our mother said that we didn't need to go to school there because we weren't going to be there long. And she was right. We moved a lot. I can't count on my ten fingers all the countries we've been to."

"It must've been nice," commented Sam, thinking about how he was stuck in here.

"It sucked," the brutal honesty of Luke's was startling.

"How come?" asked Sam.

"Imagine growing up in a family that only speaks in English and you have to go to places with your oldest sibling or cousins because they know language and you don't. I would sneak out at nights, of course," said Luke as if it was that obvious. Which it was, Sam realized. Luke was that kid in the family who would go and find danger and be naughty, and be out till after midnight. Possibly coming home with a bruise or two, because someone ran his mouth in front of him. "But they'd always find me, but it would be worth it. I should take you to Europe someday," Luke said and he gave the easiest smile Sam ever saw him give.

Sam on his part, actually tripped over a rock and stumbled. Luke was there to catch him in a second. His strong, firm hand on his chest, close to his heart, his other hand on his arm, pushing him up and steadying him.

"Alright there?" asked Luke, looking tiny bit concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I wasn't watching where I was going," said Sam, feeling embarrassed.

Luke looked up at him. And suddenly Sam realized just how close he actually was. Sam stopped breathing, looking straight into Luke's eyes. He had a small smile on his face. It was a smile, not a smirk.

"Okay," said Luke after a moment. The hand on his chest slipped away, but the other hand that was on his arm was still there. Sam looked down at the hand and he still didn't feel any tingling on his arm. But he was touching him over the sleeves of his shirt, so it was possible for Sam to not feel anything. "Do you want to see something cool?"

Sam nodded. Luke steered him to right and they walked further into the woods. They walked for a bit longer and then came out to a small clearing. Sam's eyebrows shoot up and the only thing he could say was an awed "wow".

"I know, right?" said Luke. "I came here almost every day when we finally came here and settled in. I know the woods really well, because I had too much free time on my hands. I found this place when I was really young."

The place that Luke mentioned was a small clearing that was surrounded with wild flowers and there was, surprisingly, a lake. It was big enough that Sam couldn't see the end of it. He was pretty sure that it would be a beautiful sight to see this place in evening when the sun would go down at the horizon.

"And I had to make that swing," Luke pointed out to the swing he was talking about. It was attached to one of the thick trees a few feet away from the edge of the lake. It looked old, but Sam was sure it was strong enough to hold him up. "Go ahead." He added as he saw Sam looking at it.

Sam gave him a small smile and walked towards it, and cautiously sat down. Of course it held him up, alright. Sam touched the ropes, feeling the shagginess on his fingers.

They stayed there for a while. Luke walked over to the tree and sat down under it, while Sam still sat on the swing. It was quiet here. Sam could here birds chirping around him, but they weren't close. It wasn't cold here, but the temperature was different than it was back there closer to the house.

Sam looked at where Luke was sitting. He had his legs stretched in front of him, ankles crossed, his arms were limp on his lap, and he had his head tilted back to the tree. His long white neck stretched out beautifully and Sam couldn't look away. Really, who could blame him? He hadn't had any kinds of relationships with normal people for a very long time and he was a teenager, after all. He needed that contact. He needed to feel another person close to him.

But with Luke… it was different. They were still strangers. They hardly knew each other but Sam felt like he knew him. He wanted to be as close to Luke as it was humanly possible but at the same time he didn't want to look like a creeper, because his sudden interest in Luke would definitely come across as creepy.

"Stop staring."

Sam flailed and almost fell down but he gripped the ropes in his hands quickly and stood up from where he was sitting. His cheeks flaming. "I wasn't staring." He said with as much conviction as he could find in him. But even to his ears he didn't sound convincing at all.

"Hmm…" was all Luke said.

Sam bit his lower lip and then slowly made his way to Luke. Luke opened his eyes and squinted up at him. "What?"

"Nothing," Sam mumbled and dropped down beside him. Scooting back and leaning up against the tree. Their shoulders touched but neither of them moved away from the contact. "I have a question." Luke nodded, and he sat up straighter, turning his head to Sam's direction. "It's something that happened to me few days ago."

"Okay," said Luke. "What is it?"

"Do you remember at Lit class, when we had to do the quiz? And I gave you one of the papers and our…uh fingers touched?" Wow. Okay. He sounded like a complete nut-job. And Luke's face wasn't helping at all. It was completely neutral. He didn't even have a smirk on his face. Sam had officially screwed up. Yep.

"And?" Luke asked, prodding him.

"Oh, I uh, I kind of acted violently at the contact?"

Luke nodded. "Yeah, I remember that. Are you allergic to human touch or something?"

Sam snorted. "I wouldn't call it that. But I was away from normal human beings for a long time." Luke's stare bored into his and he looked quickly away. As if, if he stared back, Luke would know all about his secrets. "Uhm… I don't know why, or how, but as soon as you touched me I felt something on my arm. Which pained me."

Sam lifted his hand slowly and moved it closer to where Luke's hand was resting on his lap. "Can I…?" Sam trailed off looking down at Luke's hand.

Luke followed his gaze and then up at Sam. After a moment, he nodded slowly.

Sam swallowed, held his breath and then closed his fingers around Luke's hand. At first nothing happened, but then there was a tiny bit uncomfortableness on his arm. Sam frowned. "Can you… hold my hand back? Please?"

Luke looked up at Sam and licked his lips. Sam was concentrated on their joined hands. So, Luke turned his palm up and gripped Sam's hand.

Sam let out a gasping breathe and gritted his teeth as his arm started to burn. He yanked his hand back and breathing in through his nose, out of his mouth. "I don't understand," he said.

But Luke was already standing up and was looking anywhere but at Sam. He was running a nervous hand over his hair. He looked agitated.

"Hey," said Sam as he stood up and walked to where Luke was anxiously standing. "Hey, it's okay. Don't worry. I'm fine. Yeah? See?" He grabbed Luke by his shoulders and made him to look up at him. "Hey," he said again and Luke looked up and Sam had to swallow the urge to hug him close. "I'm fine."

"This isn't supposed to happen. This isn't how it should be. They said it'd be the same as it was for the others. They didn't tell me that it would hurt anyone if I touched them!" Luke looked almost hysterical and angry.

Sam was confused. "I don't understand what you're saying. Who are you talking about? Who are 'they'?"

Luke took a deep calming breath and held it in for almost a minute and then he let it out slowly. "I need to," he shook his head. "We need to get back, right now. Please?"

"Yeah, yeah, sure. Let's go," Sam said but honestly, he wanted to do anything but that. It was nice out here, and he had lots of questions that he needed answers to, like, right now.

But they had to go back, because Luke wanted them to. And Sam found out that even if he wanted to stay here, there wasn't anything in him that would say no to Luke. It was a weird feeling. Putting others needs in front of his wasn't unfamiliar with Sam, but putting Luke's needs in front of his gave him another kind of feelings that he never felt before. It was terrifying, but at the same time it felt right. And probably, that was the part that was terrifying Sam the most.

"So," Sam said, wanting to end the tense silence between them. "You didn't tell me how old you are."

Luke looked at him sharply, his eyes squinting at him. Sam raised his eyebrows and then said in a mock-shocked tone of voice, "Don't pull a Twilight on me, please!"

"Pull a what?"

"Are you, like, hundred and something years old and you're a vampire or something?"

Luke stared at Sam blankly and blinked few times. Sam bit his lower lip, stifling his laughter. Luke pursed his lips and shook his head. Sam grinned at him.

Luke shook his head again and continued walking, Sam following after him. "I'm not pulling anything on you, if you must know. I'm just going to let you find out about it in time."

Sam stared at him. "Wait, you're telling me that you're not a normal teenager?"

Luke didn't answer him.

He honestly didn't know if he could lie to Sam. It was something that he'd have to find out from his brothers.

So, he chose not to say anything to Sam for their way back to the house. But he knew Sam wanted to ask millions of questions. He knew.

He just hoped he could answer to all of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any kinds of reviews will be appreciated.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6/12:**

Luke was leaning against the far wall of the dining room, looking anxiously at the people sitting by the table. Gabriel and Castiel sat opposite each other of an oval-shaped dining table. Sam was cradling his head with his hands. Breathing hard. Luke fidgeted by the wall. They were like this for the last hour. Nobody spoke. Nobody said anything. Honestly, Luke wasn't surprised by Sam's behavior. He was sure that the next thing Sam would say was something along the lines of "I don't ever want to see you again". Luke sighed. His perfect day was replaced with a miserable one. He closed his eyes and replayed the scene in his head.

"Why do you think they'd be able to help… with this? Whatever this is," asked Sam as they came in to the house.

"Gabe!" Luke yelled as they walked towards the stairs. "Castiel! I need you two to come down. Right now." He finished yelling and started to walk down the hall towards the dining room. He half-turned and talked to Sam over his shoulder. "Because I'm going to need all the support I can get during the explanation and story."

"Explanation? For what? What story?" Sam asked, his mind reeling.

But Luke didn't answer. He walked into the dining room and started to pace, his hand raking through his hair, making it stick up. He was mumbling and Sam couldn't make out the words.

"Luke?" said Sam, trying to make him look at him. "Luke? Luke! LUKE!"

"What?!" he shrieked, breathing hard. Sam took a step back. Luke's jaw clenched and suddenly his whole face changed. His anger faded away and was replaced with resignation. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and shook his head. "Sorry. I'm sorry. I just…" he couldn't continue.

Sam shrugged. "It's fine."

"No, it's not. It's not fine. This shouldn't happen with you. I shouldn't… I'm not allowed to hurt you in any way, shape or form."

"What do you mean you're not allowed to?"

But Luke shook his head. "Promise me you'll try to understand and won't freak out."

"What?"

"Please. Just, don't freak out, don't go anywhere until you'll hear the whole story," Luke took a desperate step to Sam. He was frowning and looking at Luke as if he didn't understand what was happening. Which was true. He didn't know and Luke and his brothers were going to tell him what was happening. By the looks of it, Sam was going to freak out and bolt out of the room without even hearing anything.

Luke could feel Sam's anxiety and curiosity, his desperation and confusion. Luke wanted nothing but to go over to Sam and hug him. But he couldn't. Not right now, anyway.

Sam was about to answer but he was interrupted by Gabriel's voice. "I hope you guys have a great reason to wake me up at this time of the day, or I swear, I'm gonna tear you two apart."

"We got a problem," Luke said, without answering Gabriel. "We got a huge problem and I don't know how to explain the whole thing to Sam and leave out some things."

He looked straight into Gabriel's eyes as he said it. There was a moment of silence as the brothers communicated silently. Sam watched them. His curiosity was killing him and he wanted answers.

"You know we can't do that, Luke," said Gabriel. He walked towards the end of the table and sat on the chair. Sam and Luke stayed standing. "Without telling him the full story, we can't dodge the importance of it. Whatever's been happening between you two, is connected with you-know-what."

Luke swallowed hard, and shook his head. "We could try," his voice held uncertainty to it.

"We could, but it wouldn't make sense," said Castiel as he walked into the room. Sam whirled around and looked at him. He didn't hear any noise as Castiel came in. "Hello, Sam."

"I'm not ready," said Luke, looking at Castiel.

"But you have to tell him. We can't explain what's really happening without telling him the backstory."

Luke slowly shook his head. "I just got him. I can't lose him."

"Why do you think you'll lose him?" asked Castiel.

Sam looked at them, feeling confused. His eyes settled on Luke. "Can you guys stop talking as if I'm not here and actually tell me what the hell is happening?"

The brothers looked at one another. Luke bit down on his lower lip and then nodded. He walked towards the wall and leaned against it, trying not to fidget as Castiel sat opposite Gabriel and, after a moment of hesitation, Sam sat in the middle of the table, facing where Luke was standing.

"Aren't you going to sit down?" Sam asked him.

"I can't," said Luke. His voice was held something in it that made Sam fidget in his sit. And it aroused a desire to go to Luke. He ignored it.

He looked at Castiel and waited for him to speak. Castiel glanced at Luke, who was tugging at his hair, and then at Gabriel, who shrugged in return. Castiel took a deep breath and then looked at Sam.

"What are your religious views?"

"Excuse me?" that was not a question he ever thought he'd be asked by Castiel.

"Your religious views. You know, Christian, Atheist, Pagan…?"

"Oh… uhm. I wouldn't call myself an Atheist, and I wouldn't call myself Christian either. I'm somewhere in between," said Sam, trying not to fidget as the three brothers looked at him.

"Do you believe in God?"

"Maybe."

"Angels?"

"Possibility."

"Demons?"

"Possibility."

"Satan?"

Gabriel coughed and Luke made a sound, rolling his eyes. Sam looked at Luke for a moment then looked back at Castiel. "If I believe in any of the things you just listed, I might as well believe in His existence too."

Castiel nodded, seeming satisfied by the answer. He glanced at Luke for a moment, and then leaned forward on the table. He looked at Sam and asked, "If I told you that all of those things actually existed, what would you do?"

A startled laugh escaped Sam's lips and he looked around the room, first at Gabriel, and then at Luke, before looking back at Castiel. "Are you serious right now?"

Castiel didn't answer.

Sam sobered up, his smile slipping off of his face, and frowned. "You are serious, aren't you?" Castiel didn't answer, again. "Are you kidding me?"

"If it was something not so serious, then I would've done the talking," said Gabriel from the other side. Sam looked at him and he shrugged, looking bored and sleepy. Sam sighed.

"Okay," he ran a hand over his hair. "Okay. Let's pretend that they do exist. What does their existence have anything to do with…" he broke off and waved his hand between him and Luke.

"Everything," said Castiel.

Sam chuckled. It was humorless. "I don't get it. I hate riddles."

"Cas, stop playing with him and just tell him," Gabriel said exasperatedly.

"He needs to understand first-"

"Yeah, but he'll understand it more if you'll first tell him what we actually are."

"What do you mean?" asked Sam, looking back and forth between Castiel and Gabriel, but they weren't looking at him, they were both staring at Luke, who was staring down.

"Just tell him whatever you want. I don't care," he said without looking up. Sam's desire to go to him was getting higher.

Sam fidgeted in his seat, feeling uncomfortable. He knew that something was going to be said, something that he wasn't going to like, something that would change everything. He just didn't know if he was ready to hear it or not.

"Well, Sam," said Castiel. "I don't know how to uhm tell you this, but I'm just going to say it. So, yeah…" Cas fidgeted in his seat, cleared his throat and then looked at Sam. "We are angels."

If Sam wasn't sitting down he was sure he'd be on the floor by now, so he just did the only thing he could do in his position. He stared at Castiel as if he had grown a second head. Everyone was silent. "What?" he croaked out finally.

"We are angels, of the Lord," said Cas slowly.

"You're kidding my right?" asked Sam, looking suspiciously at Gabriel, as if he was going to start laughing and then say that it was just a silly joke or something. But he didn't say anything. No one denied it. "Holy shit," Sam whispered. "You are angels? All of you?" he asked looking at the three of them separately.

"Well, technically, we are," Cas cast a glance at Luke's direction, looking unsure.

"Then what the hell are you doing on Earth if you are angels? And I'm pretty positive that you guys don't normally look like this."

"He is smart," murmured Gabriel, winking at Luke. "Good choice, bro." Luke grumbled at him, something incoherent that Sam didn't catch, but Gabriel laughed at him. "Fine, fine. I won't say anything anymore."

Castiel only rolled his eyes at them. Sam looked in between them, feeling lost. "You…you heard what he said?" asked Sam to Gabriel, while pointing at Luke. Gabriel nodded, a smirk on his face.

Sam shook his head in disbelief and looked down at his hands on top of the table.

"To answer your question, Sam," said Cas, "is quite harder than you think it is."

"Try me," said Sam, his voice challenging.

Castiel sighed. "Our Father, your God, cast us out from Heaven to Earth and our powers are bound. Meaning, we can't do anything other than some small angelic things."

"Such as?"

"We haven't explored it yet."

"How long have you been on Earth?"

"Awhile."

"And you still don't know what powers you have on Earth?" Sam's voice was skeptical. Castiel didn't answer.

"Our powers are bound, but there is a way to get them back."

"How?" the question left his mouth even before he could think about it.

"That is another subject that we're going to discuss later," said Castiel. "But right now, I just want you to believe me when I say that we are angels."

Sam stared at him for a bit and then sighed. He shook his head and then said, "Okay, fine. I believe in you."

"You really don't, but you will," Castiel saw through his lie but Sam wasn't embarrassed to admit that he indeed lied. Because they looked ordinary. There was nothing on them that indicated that they were angels. They didn't have wings, or halo over their heads that every angel picture has. It was weird. But deep inside, he knew that Castiel wouldn't lie to him. But it was hard and all kinds of weird for him simply accept that.

"Okay, let's just say that you really are angels. Which angel are you?" his question was directed to the room in general.

"I'm the angel of Thursday and one of God's warriors," said Castiel.

"You're a soldier?"

"Humanly put, yes, I'm a soldier."

"Huh," Sam looked at Gabriel. "What about you?"

Gabriel rolled his eyes. "You're seriously asking me that question? Haven't you ever heard of me?"

Sam squinted his eyes at him suspiciously. "You can't be that Gabriel. You aren't as cool as Archangel Gabriel."

Gabriel grabbed at his heart and fake gasped, "Ouch, Sam. Careful. You're hurting my pride."

Sam snorted and then rolled his eyes. He blinked. "Wait. If you're Gabriel, the Archangel Gabriel, does that mean your other brother, Michael, is the Archangel Michael?"

"Bingo."

"Holy shit."

"Amen," said Gabriel, a little smirk playing on his lips. Castiel cleared his throat and gave him a look. "What?" Castiel didn't say anything, just rolled his eyes at him.

Sam was silent. He was trying to accept all the information he just learned. The Novaks were angels. And they'd been on Earth for a while now. For, like, some thousand years, possibly.

And this was an hour before. Luke was silent during the first part of the explanation. He could feel that Sam had a lot of other questions to ask. Luke just closed his eyes and sighed. He just knew that it was going to get complicated quickly, but he hoped that Sam would at least stick around till the end and he'd actually talk to Luke about it all. He just hoped Sam would understand. He stayed silent as Sam started talking again. The only thing that he was capable right now was only that, really.

Sam frowned. "If you've been on Earth for so long, why are you making yourself presentable right now? Why are you even in school?"

"Because it's time," answered Castiel easily.

"Time for what?"

"Do you believe in soul mates?"

Sam's immediate thought was of his parents. "Yes, but I don't think everyone finds that one person."

"No, they don't," said Castiel. "But angels do."

Realization dawned on Sam quickly. "Wait, so you and Dean…?"

Castiel actually blushed. "Dean is my soul mate, yes."

"How do you know that he is your "one and only"?"

"You just do," his answer was unsatisfactory. But then he asked. "Have you been feeling kind of on edge lately?"

Sam thought about it for a moment and then nodded, "Yeah, kind of."

"Have you felt some emotions that you've never felt before?"

Sam looked up at Luke and then back at Castiel. "Yes."

"Have you felt this pull towards another person?"

"Yes," Sam swallowed. He was looking down at his hands by now.

"Felt like you wanted to be close to that person?"

"Yes."

"And it's getting harder to control by now, is it?"

"Yes."

"It's how you know, Sam. It's how you know who's your "one and only"."

Sam's breathing stuttered. "What if I don't know anything about that person?"

"That's why you talk to them," said Gabriel.

"But what if I don't like them?" asked Sam, not looking at Luke. He can feel him staring at him, but he just can't look at him right now. Because he knows, but he doesn't want to admit to it. Not yet.

"You will. You can't not like them, because it's impossible," said Gabriel.

"You talk like you know what it feels like," said Sam.

"I might."

Castel and Luke look at him quickly. "Who?"

"I can't tell, not yet. I haven't even claimed them."

"Wait, that's another thing I wanted to talk about," Sam said, as if just remembering. Which he did. Basically. "Few days ago, I received a red rose."

"Sap," Gabriel muttered.

"Shut up," grumbled Luke.

And wow, that was the first time he spoke since they started the conversation. Sam stared at him, blinking. And he just knew. "It was from you, wasn't it?" he asked. His voice was soft.

No one said anything for a moment. And then Luke nodded, one jerky nod.

Sam leaned back on his chair and pinched the bridge of his nose. It was too much. Too much information at once.

"Why?" he asked, his voice low. "Why me?"

Luke took a moment to answer. "I… I don't really know. These kind of things don't come with handbooks." He tried to joke, but his voice was different. And Sam was getting all these weird down vibes from him and it was weird. Really weird.

Sam sighed and then he asked, tentatively. "Wait, if Gabriel and Michael are the archangels. And they are older than Castiel… and your name is Luke, but…" he frowned. "There isn't an angel with the name Luke." The room was strangely quiet. Sam swallowed hard. His mouth suddenly going dry. He continued, his heart was beating hard in his chest. "Friends from school said that it was your nickname. That… no one knew what your real name is…" Sam looked up at Luke, who was looking down. Not meeting his eyes. "Who are you?"

"Cas?" Dean's sleepy voice drifted through the hallway, and a minute later he walked into the room, rubbing at his eyes, and yawning. "What are you guys doing in here? Why so serious?"

"Dean, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were awake already," said Cas, walking up to him. "I was distracted."

"It's fine," Dean mumbled, accepting a kiss on his cheek from Castiel. "So, what's happening here? Hey, Sammy."

Sam rounded in his chair and pointed an accusing finger at him. "You knew, didn't you? You knew about them and didn't tell me."

"What are you talking about?" Dean asked and then he looked around the room, noticing their serious faces. "Oh, you mean about how the Novaks are angels? Yeah. It's pretty cool, huh?" and then Dean fucking grinned.

Sam was having none of that. He stood up. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Dean's grin vanished from his face. "It wasn't my place to say it, Sam."

"You're my brother."

"Yeah and it's their secret. Come on, Sam. Don't be like that."

"Don't be like what?" Sam said. "Don't be like what, Dean?"

"I didn't think it was such a big deal," answered Dean.

"Such a big deal? Seriously?" Sam snorted. "Or maybe you thought I wouldn't be able to handle it?"

"What are you talking about?" asked Dean, looking confused.

"You were always like this," Sam hissed taking a step towards him. "You were always like this. You thought that you could keep secrets from me, because you thought that I wouldn't be able to keep calm about them. Because you thought that the truth would always make me slip."

"Enough," Dean's voice had a hard edge to it. Sam took a shuddering breath. "That's enough, Sam. And I don't even know why you are reacting like this, right now."

"Maybe because I'm done with secrets? Maybe because I wanted some normalcy in my life without lies or secrets, but apparently, that's just a wishful thinking. Apparently, I can't have normalcy. I don't even know his real name." He pointed at Luke without even looking at him. Luke flinched back at that. He could feel that Luke was distressed and it pissed him off a lot more because he didn't want to feel it. Not at all.

Dean sighed. "Can we talk about this later, Sam?"

But Sam shook his head. "No. We can't." And then, without looking back, he made his way out of the dining room and out of the front door.

The mid-afternoon sun was glaring down at him, and it was nice hours ago, but right now, it wasn't. Everything sucked.

He hated secrets when he was little, he hated even when he was going through tough times, and he definitely hated them now. Was it too much to ask? Was it too much to ask people to just not keep secrets from him? But apparently, not all people thought like him.

Maybe they saw him weak. Yeah, it was probably that. With what he went through the summer and before that, he was sure that people would only see him like that; weak and pathetic excuse of a human being.

But aside from that, the whole secret keeping from him thing, he still didn't get his questions answered. When he and Luke held hands, Sam felt like he was on fire. Why? What was happening between them? Why was Luke so quiet? Why did he look so broken? Why was he feeling whatever Luke was feeling? They couldn't be soul mates. That was impossible and Sam refused to even toy with that thought because it was just that. It was wrong and it was just impossible.

But most importantly, who was Luke? What was his real name? Was he an angel too? If yes, what kind of an angel was he?

There were too many questions unanswered.

Sam sighed as he made his way to the road and started down at it. He'd probably end up walking home, maybe he'd get a ride on his way. He wouldn't have a problem anyway, since practically everyone knew the Winchesters.

He was still walking when he heard a car's rumble coming from behind him. He looked over his shoulder and saw a fancy looking car slowing down with his pace. The windows were tinted black and he couldn't see who was inside. He stopped and squinted at the window, trying to see inside it. He didn't have to wait long, because the windows rolled down and he involuntarily took a step back.

This was the last person on earth he'd want to see right now. But he was kind of frozen where he stood. He clenched his jaw, swallowed and then waited for him to talk. He still had that annoying smirk on his face that refused to leave. It was just annoying and it was getting on Sam's nerves.

"Hello, Sam," said Crowley. He was high, that much was sure. Sam just knew. "Long time no see."

"What do you want?" snapped Sam quickly. Really, he didn't know why he was talking to him. But he was angry at everyone, so whatever.

"You looked like you needed a ride home," said Crowley, looking innocent. But with Crowley, nothing was innocent. Not even a newborn baby.

He knew that this was wrong. Whatever he was doing right now was wrong, but he couldn't stop himself even if he wanted to. He just wanted to forget. He just needed something that he was familiar with. It was wrong. And he could hear Dean's voice yelling at him to get back, but he just wouldn't do it. No. Instead, he opened the passenger's door and slid in. Crowley had this satisfied smirk on his face, which Sam didn't like one bit. He was already regretting his decision, but it was too late to change his mind, because Crowley was already pulling away, his window was rolling back up and Sam thought that this was the most huge-ass mistake he had ever done in his life.

He was going to pay for the consequences later. But right now, he willed himself to calm down. He wasn't sure if he'd succeed in it, or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews are welcome :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tiny bit longer chapter... enjoy!

**Chaper 7/12:**

A week and a half later everything was slowly going back to normal. Well, as normal as it would go. Sam was sitting in his Lit class, nose buried deep in the book they were supposed to read for their next class. He was doing everything in his power not to look to his right, where Luke was sitting and staring at him. Sam shifted in his seat.

After their ‘meeting’ in the Novaks house, a lot of things has changed. Sam was keeping his distant from the Novaks and Dean, as much as he could. It was harder to stay away from Luke, though. For one, they shared some classes together, and for two, he would always get this pull in his gut that he always squashed down with his own growing annoyance at it. He really did not want to feel that pull again.

Castiel talked about soul-mates, but he wasn’t sure what to make out of it. The only thing that he knew would give him answers to the things he was feeling right now was Luke. He didn’t really know what he had to do. He wanted to talk to Luke, but at the same he didn’t want to. He wasn’t desperate enough to just completely ignore his pride in favor of something as dumb and surreal as soul-mate-y stuff.

He was positive that whatever was happening between he and Luke was nothing but a mere curiosity towards each other. It wasn’t something as serious as being soul-mates or whatever. He didn’t even know the guy and whatever Castiel said about the possibility of them being soul-mates (although, Sam didn’t mention that whatever he was feeling was towards Luke) he was still convinced that they were not soul-mates.

Of course, when he’d lie in his bed at night, doing nothing but wait for sleep to consume him, he’d play with the possibility of them actually being soul-mates. It was a nice thing to think about, but it wouldn’t happen. He wasn’t even ready for a relationship, and he was sure that he would never be ready for a relationship anyways. But the idea was appealing nonetheless.

He sighed.

From the corner of his eye he saw Luke shifting into a more comfortable position on his chair, eyes never leaving Sam. It wasn’t an unpleasant sensation, nor was it a pleasant one, to know that there was someone who was staring at him just for the hell of it. Well, deep-deep down he knew that it wouldn’t be nothing for Luke. Somehow, he knew that Luke watching Sam wasn’t something he’d do with anyone. Somehow, he knew that there was more to it than normal people watching that he would do from time to time.

He cleared his throat and continued reading. Trying to ignore Luke, as he was still staring at him, not to let it get to him. After a moment Sam realized that he had read the same sentence four times already. He sighed angrily and then turned on his chair and stared at Luke. Who tilted his head to the side and gave him an innocent look.

“What?” asked Sam.

“What?” replied Luke.

“You’re staring.”

Luke made a noise at the back of his throat. “I wouldn’t call it staring. Observing, is more of the right word to use, or to describe this situation.”

“Am I _that_ interesting?” Sam said sarcastically. But the way Luke’s eye twitched he was sure it sounded more like a flirtation then sarcasm.

“Yes. You are,” Luke replied.

Sam huffed. Feeling annoyed at himself for blushing at Luke’s reply. “What do you want?” he hissed at him, trying to make his voice sound as low as he could.

“You feel weird,” Luke mused. “I don’t know. And you look a lot darker than you looked a week or so ago.”

“What are you talking about?”

Luke gave him a look and stared right into his eyes as he said. “You know exactly what I mean, Sam.”

Sam froze. He swallowed hard and turned in his seat. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, but you _do_.”

Sam gritted his teeth, but didn’t reply.

“Don’t get mad,” said Luke. And then stretched and Sam hated himself for noticing how Luke’s tight t-shirt looked even tighter on him as he stretched. There was a moment of silence and Sam was about to get back to his reading, but Luke said, “Actually, I wanted to ask you something.”

“Huh?”

“Will you go for a walk with me, after school?” asked Luke.

Sam squinted his eyes at him, feeling suspicious. “Why?”

“Because I’d like to talk with you.”

“Why?”

“Because I want to talk with you.”

Sam stared at him and then sighed. He shook his head. “I can’t today.”

Luke’s head snapped back on his direction. “Why not?”

Sam licked his lips. “I-I have an appointment that I can’t post-pone.” At Luke’s expression he added. “It’s important. To me. And Dean’s going to take me to my appointment after school, so…” he trailed off.

Luke looked down, a frown on his forehead, his lips turned down. He looked deep in thought and then he blinked, and nodded. He looked up at Sam and nodded at him. He then turned in his seat, opened up his book and buried his face in it.

Sam blinked at his sudden change of behavior. “Uhm…” he didn’t know what to say. Should he continue talking to him? Or should he just ignore him and then turn back to his reading? He waited a few seconds for Luke to do something, but all he got was Luke still reading his book and, well, ignoring him. Sam frowned and tried not to feel too offended, but failed, obviously, and then turned back to his reading.

As the class ended Luke was the first one to leave, not even glancing back at Sam as he tried to talk to him again. Not that Sam knew what exactly he wanted to say. And he wasn’t surprised by Luke’s behavior, because he could feel the disappointment through whatever connection they had.

Sam frowned. Maybe that was the reason why Luke wanted to talk to him? To discuss this… weird connection, or whatever, they had between them? Because as much as Sam knew what was it, he still needed to talk about it with someone. And that someone happened to be Luke. With whom he had this connection. Who also wanted to have a conversation with him about something and Sam being thoughtless, like always, just told him that he can’t hang out with him today because he had an important appointment. Not that he lied, because he _did_ have it. A doctor’s one.

Sam sighed.

He just wished he didn’t look and feel as tired as he did right now. He rubbed a hand over his face as he walked to his lockers and prepared to leave, Lit class being his last one for the day. So Sam packed his bag for tomorrow’s homework, locked his locker, and then walked down the hallway. Stopping only two or three times to say his goodbyes to his friends and telling them that he can’t hang out with them because he has stuff to do. He was glad that he didn’t lie his friends this one time. He still felt guilty for bailing out on Kevin and not going to the movies with him and their friends.

Instead he hung out with someone else.

His phone buzzed. He took it out and saw that it was a message from Dean.

 **Dean:** _i forgot I have a football practice today. Im sorry. ask someone else to drop you off at the docs?_

Sam pursed his lips and rolled his eyes.

**Sam:** _It’s okay. I can manage. Don’t worry about it._

He hit send and pocketed his phone. He tried not to let it get to him, but he was kind of lost. Because he always went for his check-ups with Dean, and him saying that he couldn’t make it was something for which Sam wasn’t prepared.

So he turned around to see if Kevin was still there, but he couldn’t find him anywhere. Sam assumed he’d be at the parking lot so he made his way out and looked around. There was no sign of Kevin, or Garth, or even Meg. Sam sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose.

The only thing he could do now was walk to the bus stop. So trying not to groan out loud he started down the walk to the bus stop. It wasn’t that far off from their school, only fifteen minutes, but Sam still didn’t want to go by bus. He just didn’t like them.

As he was getting closer to the bus stop he heard an engine roar behind him. So he turned and looked at what was causing the noise. For a moment he thought it’d be Crowley again, but he berated himself for even thinking about him. Especially right now. Especially after what he tried to do to him, and succeeding somewhat, that one time they saw each other.

But his heart still gave a stutter as he saw that the engine noise was the black shiny motorcycle with its driver straddling it, stopping short by his side. Luke turned the engine off, took off his helmet and looked at Sam.

The sun was high up in the sky and it was kind of windy, making Luke’s messy hair to twirl around by the soft breeze. And Sam tried not to stare at how the sun played in his dirty blond hair, or the way it turned his skin to an almost pale tone, or the way he had his eyes squinted at Sam.

Sam swallowed. And adjusted the strap of his bag on his shoulder. When Luke didn’t say anything, Sam quirked up an eyebrow and asked, “Yes?”

“Where are you going?” Luke’s voice was all curiosity.

“Uhm to the bus stop,” answered Sam.

Luke looked at him for a bit more and then shifted his weight on his legs a bit, still straddling the motorcycle. “Where’s your brother?”

“He had a football practice, or something, so he couldn’t come and get me.”

“What about your appointment?” asked Luke, frowning.

“Is in-“ Sam checked his watch. “-about forty minutes.”

“How are you planning on getting there?”

“Take the bus.”

Luke stared.

Sam stared back.

“Wanna ride?”

Sam blinked. “Uhm.”

“It’s the part where you have to say “yes” or “no”.”

“Uhm…”

Luke sighed and held up his helmet. He tilted his head and said, “C’mon. As much as your face looks adorable like that, you’re gonna be late for this appointment of yours.”

Sam blushed. From head to toe. He was sure that Luke could feel his body heat from where he was. Sam looked down at the helmet in his hand. He could get there in time. He eyed the motorcycle for a minute and then sighed. He bit his lower lip and put the helmet on.

Luke turned his head to the side as Sam clutched at his shoulder and swung his leg over the bike. He straddled it and then tentatively placed his hands on Luke’s sides.

Silently, Luke placed his gloved hands over Sam’s and then dragged them over his torso. This made Sam get bodily closer to Luke’s back, so his chest was firmly placed to it. His fingers splayed over Luke’s body and he felt Luke taking a deep breath and then place his hands over the handle bar.

“Ready?” Luke asked. His voice was low and Sam could feel it rumble through him.

“Yeah,” he breathed out and then took a deep breath as Luke snapped his leg up to make the side stand go up and then twisted his hand over the handle and it roared to life. Sam swallowed and shifted a bit in his seat as the bike vibrated under him.

He licked his lips as Luke leaned forward a bit and said, “Hold on tight.” And then they took off.

Sam tightened his hold on Luke, and it got him closer to Luke. His chest was firmly pressed against Luke’s back and he couldn’t help but feel the muscles change as Luke rode them off. And he definitely was not thinking on how his crotch was neatly settled where Luke’s butt was. Sam swallowed again.

As they hit the red light at the end of the road, Sam realized that Luke didn’t know where he was going to. He then instructed him where to go and Luke gave him a nod.

As they waited for the light to change, Sam realized that he didn’t loosen his hold on him. It didn’t seem like Luke minded it. Sam bit on his lower lip. Surprisingly, he didn’t feel nervous or anything close to it. Okay, he did feel nervous a bit, but it was kind of a good nervousness. He didn’t know what that meant.

He felt Luke shift a bit and then there were off again. Sam’s hold tightened again. They hit two more red lights on their way, and they were both filled with internal struggles from Sam’s part; did he have to loosen his hold? Or hold on tighter? Or maybe strike up a conversation?

At one point Sam was struck at how different Luke looked. He looked relaxed. And also, he looked younger than usual. He was at ease on his bike, and he took the roads as if he knew them by heart. It was a sunny day. The sun would play in Luke’s hair making it look shinier than usual.

Luke turned his head to the side, and Sam’s heart almost stuttered to a full stop. He looked… well, there was no other word to describe on how he looked. But the right word that Sam would use was beautiful. Luke had sharp jawline, but it had soft edge to it. His eyes were bright under the sun, and his nose was a bit pointy, and his lips were… Sam sighed.

Luke looked at him over his shoulder and Sam’s eyes widened because he hadn't realized that he sighed that heavily. He promptly blushed and looked the other way.

But he did feel Luke’s silent laughter and how his sides moved with him. His lips quirked up on the sides, but thankfully, they didn’t say anything.

After a few minutes of riding, they finally got to the hospital where Sam had to attend to his weekly appointment. Luke cut the engine off and snapped the side stand down. He let the bike’s weight to lean on it and waited for Sam to get off. Sam, rather reluctantly unwrapped his arms from where he had them wrapped in a tight grip on Luke, his fingers grazing at his sides, as he lifted his hands on Luke’s shoulders, braced himself and then moved up from his seat. Ungracefully. Brilliant.

He stumbled a bit and then he felt Luke’s hand on his elbow helping him to find his balance. Sam huffed out as he stood up and then he took off the helmet and gave it to Luke. He ran his hand over his hair few times as Luke gazed up at him, helmet under his arm, eyes soft and a small smirk over his lips. His own windswept and Sam felt the urge to ran his fingers through it, but he put his hands in the pockets of his jacket before he did just that.

He rocked back at the heel of his feet and bit down on his lower lip. They looked at each other and then Sam cleared his throat and looked down. “Well, thanks for the ride.”

“My pleasure,” came Luke’s reply. Sam gave him a small smile and then turned to leave, but Luke’s voice stopped him. “When do you finish?”

“Uhm in almost an hour,” Sam said.

“How are you going to go back home?”

“I’ll probably call Dean.”

Luke looked at him for a moment, and then slowly nodded. Sam nodded back and then turned and walked towards the building. This time Luke didn’t ask him anything, and as Sam stepped through the doors, he was vaguely aware that he didn’t hear the roar of the bike’s engine.

 

“I’m really sorry, Sammy. Honestly, if I could, I would leave right now and come and get you. But you know how these things are,” Dean’s voice was pleading and he did sound sorry.

Sam sighed. “Yeah, I know,” he didn’t. “It’s okay. It’s fine. Just don’t be late to get home, yeah?”

“Of course. Thanks, Sammy. I owe you one.”

The line ended. Sam pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. He shook his head and checked his time. It was almost six in the evening. He didn’t know what football players did in their practices, but Sam thought they needed all the practice time they could get because they did have a game in a month or so from today.

He walked out of the elevator, nodded at the nurse sitting at the reception and walked out of the front doors. It was still nice outside. Sam adjusted his bags straps on his shoulders and checked his pockets to see if the paper with medicine names on it where still in his pockets. He nodded to himself as he felt them in his right pocket and then started walking again, but stopped almost immediately.

“What are you doing in here?” Sam asked, his brow furrowing in confusion.

“Waiting for you, of course,” Luke said. He had a smirk on his face. He was leaning against his bike, arms crossed over his chest, making his leather jacket to stretch up over his biceps. Sam did _not_ get distracted by them.

“What?”

“Well, I thought that Dean wasn’t going to come after you, since he was at practice and there is a game in about a month or so,” Luke said. “So here I am.” Luke shrugged and explained seeing Sam’s confused face, “I thought I'd wait around for you to finish your doctor’s appointment and then take you… wherever you’d like to go.”

“How did you kno- Never mind,” Sam shook his head. “You waited here for almost an hour and a half for me to finish so you can take me home?”

“If you want to go home, then fine. I’ll take you home.”

Sam blinked. “Are you serious?”

Luke frowned. “I’m pretty sure I’m not joking.”

Sam shook his head again. “You’re weird, you _do_ know that, right?”

Luke chuckled, Sam didn’t know how to react to that. “I’ve been told that once or twice in my existence.”

“Okay. Good. Just checking,” Sam let out a huff of breath. “Right.” He scratched the back of his neck.

“So… what would you like to do?”

Sam looked at Luke, and suddenly he didn’t want to go home anymore.

“I think we can have that talk that you wanted to have with me after school,” he said slowly and Luke’s lips tugged up into a smirk.

“Good,” he said. He stood up from his leaning position, took his helmet off the handlebars and gave it to Sam. “Come on. We gotta leave now, because I want you to see something really cool.”

Sam gave him a smile and then quickly placed the helmet on his head. As he was about to straddle the bike, Luke stopped him by a hand on his elbow. “You need to let Dean know where you are.”

“What should I tell him?” asked Sam as he took out his phone.

“Tell him you’re with me,” Luke said, shrugging.

Sam looked at him. “Seriously?”

Luke shrugged again.

Sam sighed. He opened his phone and texted Dean ‘ _I’m with a friend of mine. Won’t be long.’_ And hit send. He straddled the bike, scooted forward, wrapped his arms around Luke tightly, and then they rode off.

As they passed through the buildings and houses and shops, Sam realized that they were heading off to a path that he never took before. Which led them to the upper side of the town. To where no one really went to, unless they wanted some privacy from everyone. Sam swallowed. He knew he didn’t have to be nervous because they were probably going to talk about some things that Sam was sure neither of them would want for anyone to hear. But the faint fluttering of his heart didn’t let him to not be nervous.

Luke swerved this and that way up the road as they made their way higher and higher up the small hill that they had outside of town. They rode for some time more, and then he felt Luke slowing down the bike, and then they came to a full stop. He cut the engine off and Sam slide off from where he was sitting. He gave Luke his helmet back and waited for him to get off from the bike, too.

They walked towards one of the benches that were placed at the top of the hill. They sat down and Sam looked around him. It was a pretty good spot, and he could see the town stretching right in front of him. Sam thought he’d never be able to see his town from above. But he was looking at it. And it was a beautiful sight.

He looked back at where they came from and saw that while there was a road that led to where they were right now, it was still rocky. It was wide and it held about four to five benches and each of them were placed in different directions. The spot that Luke brought him to faced the town, but he knew there was more to it than just simply looking at it.

“Why are we here?” he asked. It was kind of chilly up here, but he was warm and content.

“It’s one of my favorite places around this town, aside from that place that I took you in my backyard,” said Luke. After a moment of silence, he said, “and I didn’t bring anyone here before, and no one really knows that this place exists.”

Sam looked at Luke’s profile and then turned back at staring the view. “It’s beautiful.”

“It is,” replied Luke.

They were silent for a moment. Sam shifted a bit and then tentatively asked. “So… you wanted to talk?”

“Yes, I do,” murmured Luke, his eyes were unfocused. But then he blinked and turned his head to Sam and stared right into his eyes and asked. “Do you believe in what Castiel said to you about a week or so ago?”

Sam swallowed and didn’t reply at first, because he honestly didn’t know what to say to Luke. On one hand he believed him, on the other, it sounded bizarre. Freakishly so.

“I don’t know,” he replied, his voice soft. Something flickered in Luke’s eyes, but Sam didn’t know what. “It’s just… It’s something I don’t think anyone would believe in easily, you know? Well, not everyone would believe it in a second, but you know what I mean.”

“You seemed pretty mad when you left that day.”

“I was. And I probably still am.”

“Yeah you are,” murmured Luke.

Sam gave him a small, tentative smile, “You can’t really blame me for being mad. I mean, it’s not every day you learn that angels actually do exist. Not that I believe it, yet.”

“What would persuade you to believe it?”

Sam thought for a moment, staring at Luke. He looked beautiful. Sam’s heart fluttered and he internally berated himself for even thinking that. He must’ve been staring at Luke with a dumb expression, because Luke’s face softened even more, and instead of his usual smirk, there was a small smile playing at the corners of his lips.

Sam let out a breath and then said, “I don’t know… maybe you could show me something that only angels can do?” It came out as a question, instead of a request.

“Like what?” asked Luke, his voice was softer too.

“I don’t know,” Sam shrugged. “Maybe you could show me your wings?”

Luke blinked at him. He frowned and then looked away. Sam licked his lips as Luke’s Adam’s apple moved as he swallowed. He bit down on his lower lip and didn’t say anything, and tried not to make a sound. Luke rubbed the back of his neck and Sam sensed through their bond that Luke was uncomfortable.

“Are you okay?” Sam asked.

“Uhm…” Luke shifted. “That is-“ Luke let out a huff of breath and chuckled. “I wish it was that easy, Sam. But I’m afraid I won’t be able to show them to you.”

“Why not?”

“Because mine are broken.”

Sam blinked. “I’m sorry, but what?”

Luke looked at him and Sam stopped breathing. Luke’s eyes were filled with something that Sam wasn’t able to identify. And he wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around him until that look would simply go away.

“They’re broken,” said Luke. “It has been like that for… centuries. For me. It is longer for you. Humans. I’ve been here for a long time. And my… wings has been in this condition for a longer time.”

“So you mean you’ve been cast out from Heaven longer than your siblings?” asked Sam. “And in a way that damaged your wings?”

“I have been, yes.” Luke nodded. “I’ve been out from Heaven longer than my siblings. We’ve met on Earth, actually.”

Sam frowned at him. “I just can’t figure out which angel you must’ve been.”

“Must be,” corrected Luke. “I’m still an angel. In a way.”

“In a way?”

“You'd be surprised how many humans would disagree.”

“I’m sure Kevin isn’t one of them,” said Sam, smiling.

“Kevin? That Japanese little guy who hangs out with you all the time and looks at you as if you’re some sort of a Geek God?” said Luke quickly.

“Wow. How long have you been keeping an eye on me?” teased Sam. “Am I noting a hint of jealousy?” At Luke’s lack of response Sam couldn’t help but let out a whoop of laughter. Luke frowned at him, but his expression didn’t held any hard feelings.

“Shut up,” mumbled Luke, looking down.

“Aww, I’m sorry. It’s just, I don’t know!” said Sam, grinning.

“Yeah, yeah,” Luke rolled his eyes, but Sam could tell that his lips were up in a smile.

They were silent for a bit after that. It was quiet up here, and it was really relaxing. Sam’s smile widened.

“Sam?” Luke’s voice was tentative.

“Hm?”

“Would you mind if I… I thought…” Luke took a deep breath and released it slowly. “Can I try something? It’s something to do with proving you that I am, I mean we are, the Novaks, are angels.”

“Oh! Yes. Please. Be my guest.” Sam turned on his seat a bit and waited for Luke to do whatever he wanted to show him.

“Okay,” said Luke and took a deep breathe. “Just a reminder that I haven’t done this for a very long time and it is a known fact that every certain type of an angel has its own color. I know mine will definitely look scary, but just don’t run screaming, okay?”

“Okay, okay. Now do whatever you wanted to show me. I promise I won’t run away or scream, or whatever.”

Luke threw him a nervous smile and then closed his eyes. He appeared to be concentrating on something that Sam had no idea what it could be.

“Are you ready?” asked Luke, his eyes still closed. He looked excited and nervous at the same time. Sam felt almost overwhelmed with it.

“Yeah. Yes. I am.”

“Look right into my eyes, okay? I don’t know how long I can hold on to it.”

“Okay,” said Sam.

Luke left out another breathe and then slowly opened his eyes. Sam gasped out and his hand slapped over his mouth. He continued looking into Luke’s… eyes. They were… well, Sam didn’t know how to explain it. But they weren’t the same color as Luke’s light green eyes. They were… orange. No. They were red. And they were bright, almost shining. Sam had to blink quickly to get used to its brightness, but as soon as his eyes adjusted to the light, they dimmed down and were replaced with Luke’s normal light green eyes. Luke looked really nervous. Sam still stared at him, at a loss of words. He didn’t know what to say, or what to feel.

“I uhm that was… wow,” Sam stuttered out. He didn’t know what to say. This was crazy. “This is crazy and the weirdest thing I have ever seen in my whole life.”

“Uhm,” Luke rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m sorry.”

“Are you kidding? This was awesome!” said Sam

“I just… I wanted you to believe in angels, in us. In our existence.”

”Yeah, I know, but this was just. Wow!” said Sam. “How-When do you guys usually show your people this?”

“Well, considering that we don’t exactly look like this in our ‘real life’, they always get to see them.”

“Wow,” said Sam again, still staring into Luke’s eyes in wonder. “Wow…” he whispered again.

Luke offered him a small smile and said, “At least you aren’t freaking out.”

“Why? Who else freaked out?”

“I wouldn’t call your brother’s reaction to Castiel’s eye-color changing ‘freaking out’. I would say, he was rather… enthusiastic about it.” And the way he said it was enough for Sam to know what he meant by that. “I don’t think I have been happy to spend my entire time at my secret hideout.”

“Believe me, I know what you mean.”

They smiled at one another and then turned and looked at the sight before them.

“It’s beautiful up here,” Sam commented after a moment of silence.

“It is,” replied Luke, quietly.

It was getting close to sunset time. Sam smiled softly as the sky turned into a beautiful shades of purple and orange.

“Thank you.”

“Hm?”

“For today,” said Sam. He looked at Luke only to find him already staring at him. “Thank you.”

“You’re more than welcome, Sam.”

Sam felt butterflies erupting in his gut.

“Sam?”

“Uh-huh.”

“I want to try something.”

“What is it?”

Instead of answering, Luke looked down to wear Sam’s hand was perched at the edge of the bench. Luke quickly put on his leather glove, wiggled his fingers a bit to get them adjusted in it, and then slowly lowered his hand over Sam’s.

“Wait,” Sam said as Luke was about to place his hand over his. “I think it’s best if you try it with my hand palm up, because I don’t think it does anything to me when you touch other parts of my arm.”

“Okay,” whispered Luke and waited for Sam to turn his hand and lift it up and grab his gloved hand.

Sam let out a relieved sigh of breath at the contact. There was no tingling, no pain, no nothing. Just the firm grip of Luke’s hand over his. And even if Luke’s hand was in a glove, it still felt amazing. He looked up from their hands and looked at Luke’s face, which somehow appeared to be few inches away from his.

“It feels incredible,” whispered Sam.

“It does,” replied Luke. His eyes were warm, he had a smile on his face, and he looked younger. Almost angelic.

Sam smiled.

“Sam, I know it’s too soon to say this,” said Luke, his voice going from tentative to serious. “But… I need you to know, ok?”

Sam nodded and waited for Luke to continue.

Luke took a deep breath and said, “Remember how Castiel talked about soul-mates? About how people found their ‘one and only’, how they seemed to click, how they shared a bond between them?” Sam nodded, unable to say anything. “You believe in that, right?” Sam nodded again. “Good. Because I want you to you know that… you are mine. You are my soul mate.” Sam gaped at him. Really, he shouldn’t have been this surprised, since he already knew that, kind of. But _learning_ about it from _him,_ was a surprise. “Even if you’ll try to have another relationship with anyone, even if you’ll like them, or l-love them, you won’t be able to be fully happy. Do you understand the seriousness of the situation?”

“What if-What if I don’t want that? What if I want to… experience things?” asked Sam tentatively.

Luke shook his head, hand tightening over Sam’s. “I’m sorry, Sam.”

Sam looked at him and then nodded. “It’s not like it’s your fault, is it?”

Luke shook his head. Sam sighed and then looked down at their hands. It felt right to hold Luke’s hand. It felt right to spend time with him. It felt right.

“I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship now, but… I think I’ll get there someday.”

Luke nodded. “I understand. I know. These things take time.”

“Good,” Sam smiled at Luke, who returned it with his own.

After that, they walked back to where Luke left his bike. They got on it and Luke rode them back to the town, and Sam gave him directions to his house. He had his chin perched up on Luke’s shoulder, his arms tightly wrapped around Luke. It felt a lot more comfortable doing this now, than it was before, just a few hours ago.

It felt right.

They turned on his street and Luke rode to the front of their house and slowed down to a stop. Sam stood up from the bike, and gave Luke back his helmet. He hovered for a bit and then smiled at him.

“Well, thank you for the evening. It was lovely.”

“You’re welcome,” said Luke, smiling.

“Uhm… Good night, then.”

Sam was about to leave, but Luke held his hand and Sam stopped. He swallowed and looked at Luke, who was staring at him with soft eyes. He lifted Sam’s hand to his lips and kissed the back of his hand. “Sweet dreams, Sam.”

Sam thought his heart was going to explode from how fast it was beating. He didn’t say anything else as he turned and started to walk to the front door.

“And Sam?” Luke called out after him. He quickly turned and faced Luke; who looked like a cut-out model from Rolling Stone’s magazines, straddling his bike, with his helmet in front of him, hair windswept, wearing a leather jacket and gloves, and black tight jeans with black boots. “Two more things,” continued Luke, completely unaware Sam’s thoughts. “Don’t ignore me at school anymore.” He said. “And please, stop hanging out with Crowley outside of school and pretending that you’re not doing it, yeah?”

Sam looked at Luke, shocked. He didn’t know what to say, but he felt his mood going down by every second as he continued standing there and staring at his handsome face. So he simply turned, opened the front door and then snapped it after him.

Despite Luke’s departing sentence, despite the fact that it made Sam’s mood to go down tiny bit more, he still clutched to the best events of the day. And there were so many of them that Sam couldn’t choose _the_ best of them all.

He laid down in his bed and replayed every second of it, minus the last scene, until he was heavy with sleep. A smile playing on his lips.

He didn’t remember saying it in the morning as he woke up, but before sleep consumed him completely, he whispered the name that would change his life completely. That one person’s name who was going to take care of him, cherish him, adore him, and love him.

He had whispered the name, “ _Lucifer._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Progress? Yay? Reviews?


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8/12:**

"You are full of shit, dude. I'm telling you. He can't even find his backside let alone help you out with your math."

"What does my backside have to do with math?"

"You can't solve any shit, man."

"You guys are weird and I have no idea what you're talking about. Why I am even friends with you all is beyond me!"

"It's because you love us and you can't live a day without us."

"Nope. Wrong."

"I love you, too. Give me a kiss!"

"Fuck you."

Sam sat at the table of his group of friends and listened to as they bickered between with each other. He laughed as Garth stood up and leaned over the table and tried to coax Kevin to kiss him, who scrambled up and flailed away from him. He watched as Kevin gave Garth a disgruntled look and shook his head and said something that he couldn't make out.

It was almost a month later from the day Sam and Luke hung out together, and they were in November now. The weather was crispy cold, just the right temperature for Sam to freely wear long-sleeved shirts all the time, without people asking him if he was feeling hot in them or not. Now he had an excuse. It was weird, really, but he felt better that he did have an excuse.

He looked around the cafeteria as his friends quieted down a bit and Kevin agreed to help out Garth with whatever math problems he was having. Meg was laughing at something that Garth said and Kevin gave her a sheepish smile.

Sam's first instinct was to search about his brother, and he found him sitting with his football team, Castiel sitting right beside him looking as out of place as anyone would look at that table. Sam gave Castiel a small smile as he looked his way. Castiel nodded back at him.

Sam then looked at the table that was situated at the far side of the cafeteria. The Novaks table. Gabriel was stuffing his face with as much chocolate as he could and Luke was staring at him with a disgusted frown on his face. Luke said something to Gabriel who just shrugged and continued stuffing his face. Luke shook his head and then looked down at the table. After a moment he lifted his head and stared right at Sam and Sam… Well, Sam felt like he was frozen in his seat. Unable to move or utter a single word.

Luke would always do this to him. He would just simply catch Sam looking and look straight into his eyes and do nothing at all. He would just stare and Sam would let him. He didn't have it in him to stop him from doing that.

They hadn't hung out much for the last couple of weeks and Sam was getting anxious for not doing it more. It was nice.

And Sam hadn't stopped thinking about Luke's true eye-color. They were mesmerizing to him, although they were supposed to creep him out, but he couldn't find it in him to feel that way. Luke was… different. Luke gave him a small smile and lifted his hand a tiny bit and gave him a small wave. Sam promptly blushed and waved back. Luke looked different today. He looked relaxed and cool. He did look like that all the time, but the bond that was connecting them felt cooler somehow. There wasn't anything there that would make Sam feel alarmed, he was getting accustomed to feeling other emotions alongside his. Just as he was about to relax and let that calmness wash over him, he felt himself tense. He watched as Luke sat up straighter in his chair and his face was carefully blank. His eyes had left Sam's in order to look to his right side. Sam saw Luke's jaw clench as he gritted his teeth together.

Sam frowned, feeling confused at his sudden change of demeanor, and turned his head to look at what, or who, made Luke feel so alarmed all of a sudden. His question was answered right away as he saw Crowley, and his little gang, waltz into the cafeteria like they owned the place. As they walked he felt that everyone was staring at him as he walked past, no,  _towards_  the Novaks table. Sam saw Gabriel placing his candy bar on the table slowly, and sitting up straighter. Luke quirked up an eyebrow at him as Crowley stopped right in front of him.

While Luke looked calm and collected, Sam could feel pure  _rage_  directed right at Crowley. The intensity of it alarmed Sam so much that he had to take a deep calming breathe to not let it get to him. Crowley was saying something to Luke, and Sam could feel the anger licking at his veins, and he had to simply force himself to calm down and not to charge to the table and demand to know what was happening and why was Luke so angry.

Luke replied to whatever Crowley had said to him, and he saw Crowley visibly flinch back and stare at his goons for a moment. He turned and gave Luke a nod and then he was gone and Sam felt Luke relax, but underneath it all, there was concealed anger. Sam waited for Luke to look at him, but he didn't. Sam waited for a minute, but there was nothing from him.

Sam took out his phone and texted.

**Sam:** _u ok?_

Sam watched as Luke took out his phone, looked at the screen, and then he placed his phone back into his pocket. Sam stared at him in shock as he stood up from the table and left the cafeteria, Gabriel following behind. He watched as Castiel left his own table and went after his brothers. Sam was sure that Castiel heard every single word that has been said between Crowley and Luke, and he as positive that Dean already knew it, too.

He turned back to his friends and found them all staring at him with identical confused expressions on their faces. He shifted a bit in his seat and waited for them to talk, but no one said anything.

"Guys?" he prompted finally and waited for them to speak.

"Are you okay?" asked Garth, tentatively.

"Yeah?" he replied, and it came out more as a question rather than a statement. "I'm okay, why? Why do you ask?"

"If looks could kill, Crowley would've been dead by now," said Kevin.

"What do you mean?"

"Your face read 'murder', all over. No kidding," said Garth. Meg didn't say anything.

"I am… fine. Honest," he gave them, what he thought, was a reassuring smile. It seemed like it had done the trick, because Kevin and Garth shrugged and then went back to their lunch. But Meg was still staring at him, her expression blank. Sam looked at her and quirked up and eyebrow. She stared at him for a bit more and then seemed to shake herself out of her trance. She commented on Kevin's eating habit, who replied back to her with his mouthful of salad, the sauce dripping down his chin. She scowled at him and called him a "disgusting pig" and then left the table. The boys yelled after her to come back, but she waved at them behind her back.

"We better leave, too," said Kevin as he looked down at his watch. Lunchtime was almost over. Garth nodded at him and they both stood up and headed for their next class. Sam nodded at them both as they waved at him.

Sam stared down at his phone. Luke hadn't answered yet. Sam was at a loss of what to do. He searched for Luke's bond in him, but it was empty. There were too far from each other and Sam couldn't make out his emotions. He sighed and pushed away from the table. He grabbed his bag, slung it over his shoulder and walked out of the cafeteria. He was about to turn the corner so he could walk down the hall towards his next class when he was grabbed by his arm and was shoved inside a dark room.

"Hey-mrph," he felt his back hit the wall and some things crumpled down around him and then there was a hand over his mouth that prevented him from speaking.

"Sshhh!" someone hissed at him. A moment later a gang of kids passed by the closed door and then there was silence. Few seconds later the bell rang and Sam let out a distressed sound. He was going to be late for his next class and it was not good. He tried to pry the intruder's hand off his mouth, but the hand only tightened on it.

After a moment it was clear that there was no one outside. Sam was breathing hard through his nose and he was aware of several things; the hand was loose on his mouth, a body was holding him  _up_ against the wall, the person who shoved him at it was almost a head shorter than him, his body was lined up against Sam's in all the right places, and he smelled too familiar. Sam swallowed and tried to make his breathing go back down to normal, but he couldn't.

Luke was everywhere. Sam could feel him everywhere. It was overwhelming and Sam felt lightheaded. Luke was stiff against him, but Sam couldn't help but marvel at how strong Luke actually was. Maybe it was part of his angelic powers…

Luke let his hand fall down, but he didn't move back. They were never this close before. Well aside from being on the bike, they were never actually this close whenever they'd hang out. Sam swallowed again.

Luke offered him a small smile and whispered. "Hello. Sorry to spring up on you like this."

"It's f-fine," Sam stuttered out.

Luke gave him another smile and then he heaved back from him. Their bodies weren't touching anymore, but Luke was still in Sam's personal space. Sam was still having a hard time breathing normally.

"I know you're missing out on your class, but this was urgent," Luke said. Sam still couldn't see anything in this room, because they hadn't switched the light on.

"Can we please switch the light on first? I'd rather see your face, too." Sam snapped his mouth shut right after he said the last part. He was glad that it was still dark because he was blushing so hard he was sure that his face looked like a tomato. He didn't even realize he said it out loud, before it was too late. "Uhm… I meant… uh… I don't know what I meant."

He heard Luke chuckle and his breathe ghosted over Sam's face. Sam's eyes fluttered close for a second and then opened them again as he felt Luke shift a bit and then a second later the small space was filled with a dull light, but that still made Sam blink several times to get adjusted to it.

He looked at Luke properly now and felt his mouth go dry. Luke was wearing a black tight shirt that made his muscles puff out a bit, his hair was a mess over his head, his light green eyes held calmness to them, and there was a small smile on his lips as he stared back at Sam.

"Enjoying the view?"

Sam scoffed, but didn't say anything, although he could feel his face heating up even more. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against the wall more comfortably. He didn't know what Luke wanted from him, but he knew that he wasn't going to go back to his next class anyways, so why not get comfortable?

"Aren't you cold?" he asked, suddenly realizing that he was wearing a sleeveless shirt. It was freezing outside.

"No," Luke said, shrugging.

Sam narrowed his eyes at him. "You do know that it's November and it's  _cold_  outside, right?"

"Of course I do know it. I just don't get cold."

"Ever?"

"Nope," Luke answered, grinning.

The grin threw Sam off for a bit, but he shook his head. "Why not?"

"We, angels in general, don't get cold," said Luke. He looked straight into his eyes and said, "Some people think that I burn hot, but it's quite the opposite."

Sam cleared his throat and shifted a bit from where he was leaning against the wall. Sometimes, Luke would say things that would make Sam's skin crawl. And then sometime he'd say things like this and Sam would be at loss for words. He didn't know how to respond to that, although, it seemed like Luke was waiting for something from him.

"Well, if you are sure that you won't catch cold, then it's fine, I guess," he said eventually.

"Are you-Is that concern I'm noting in your voice?" asked Luke and tilted his head to the side, looking like an adorable cat that was confused.

Sam ignored that thought immediately.

"What? No," but he was blushing and he was sure that the smirk on Luke's face was directed at his blush. "Shut up," he muttered and looked down.

Luke let out a small chuckle and then slowly, grabbed at Sam's chin and lifted his head up. Sam swallowed as he realized just how close their faces was. But he didn't move away. Even if it was the right thing to do now, he didn't want to move.

They had been skirting around each other for a long time now. They spent less time together and the times that they did spend together were not enough for them. They were new to this, and Sam felt like if he had the whole time in the world, it would still be not enough for him. And he was sure that Luke felt the same way.

Luke was warm, just as he said, he wasn't cold. His fingers were warm on his skin as he still gripped his chin. But it was surprising to know this, because Luke said that he was the opposite of warm.

"You-You feel warm," Sam whispered. They got closer and Luke's hand moved from his chin to the side of his neck. His thumb was on Sam's jaw line, caressing the skin there. Sam shuddered at the contact, a shaky breath leaving his parted lips.

"Told you," Luke whispered back. Sam was sure that Luke was going to kiss him. He was positive. They were so close right now that if Sam moved his lips in a certain way he'd end up brushing his over Luke's lips. But he left his lips parted and breathed through his nose slowly, in a calming way. He closed his eyes as Luke's other hand rested at the other side of his neck. Sam's breath hitched and he felt lightheaded. Just by Luke's hands over his neck and he was a pile of muss. He just hoped that he wouldn't moan out loud, because that would've been too embarrassing. "Your hearts beating really fast," said Luke. There was a hint of a smile in his voice. Sam blushed harder, but didn't say anything. He couldn't really say anything because he was right. Aside from being breathless, Sam felt like his heart was going to burst out from his chest. No wonder Luke could hear him. But then again, he was an angel, it was a known fact that angels had a good hearing.

He felt Luke tilt his head down and he felt Luke's lips on his forehead, and then on his temple and then on the other one. He then kissed both of his cheeks, his closed eyes, his nose, his chin...

Sam was sure that if he wasn't leaning against the wall, and if he didn't have Luke's hands on him, holding him, he would've probably fainted seconds ago. And they weren't even kissing. Luke was peppering his face with kisses, but he wasn't kissing his lips, like Sam wanted him to. But Sam wasn't confident enough to take the step in that direction. His mouth was dry.

Luke kissed his forehead again and then pulled back. Sam's eyes stuttered open and his breath left him in one big whoosh. Luke's face was relaxed, his eyes were big and bright, his hair was all over and he never looked as beautiful as he did right then. Sam didn't know what he did in his life to deserve this man to be with him. For this man to be his soul-mate. He was an angel and Sam knew that he shouldn't be this surprised by his beauty, but… He couldn't help himself to not think about Luke as anything other than the beauty that he was. He had confidence in him that Sam admired, he had a way of talking to people and making them believe in what he had to say, he made them listen to him. But most of all, he paid attention to Sam whenever he could.

"Thank you," Luke whispered to him and it caught Sam off guard.

"What for?" he whispered back, his voice hoarse.

"For caring," he said. He looked at Sam with so much intensity that Sam felt his throat close up.

He didn't question it but he stuttered out, "Of-of course." And gave Luke a shaky smile, which Luke returned. Luke leaned up and kissed his forehead again and then pulled back, his hands leaving his neck. Sam instantly missed the warmth.

It was surprising that they didn't do anything more other than Sam letting Luke kiss wherever he wanted to kiss him at the time. It was mostly his cheek, but sometimes, he'd kiss forehead too. But what he did few minutes ago was new for Sam and it wasn't surprising that Sam liked it, a lot, and wanted for them to spend as much time together as they could so Luke would do this again. It was a nice feeling.

"When can I see you again? Properly?" asked Sam, trying to distract himself from what just happened between them.

"You can see me whenever you want," said Luke. But then his face turned serious. "Sam, I need you to promise me something. I know I already asked you to do it, but… you seem to not care about it."

"What is it?" Sam asked while frowning.

"You need to stop hanging out with Crowley. And I mean it this time."

"I haven't seen him since…. I don't know, some weeks ago?"

"My sources tell me otherwise."

"What?" Luke didn't answer to him. Sam raised his eyebrows. "You have people spying on me?"

"It doesn't matter if I do have people who look after you, not spy. It's different," Luke waved his hand as if it was an unimportant thing. "But it's more of the matter of you lying to me. I asked you to not hang out with Crowley. He is a bad news. You should know this."

"What are you talking about? I-"

"Come off it, Sam," when Luke used his name it meant that he was serious and that he wasn't kidding around. "We both know to what I'm referring to."

"You don't know anything about me, so don't make any judgments, okay?" Sam suddenly felt angry.

"That's the point! I don't know anything about you. At all. Sure I could know about what had happened to you last year and in summer, but I want  _you_ to tell me that. I want you to be able to open up to me and tell me your life story. I want to get to know you, because I  _need_ to know."

Sam looked like he wanted nothing more than to snap back, but in the end he took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Fine," he said, looking back up at Luke. "Yes, I saw Crowley more than once for the last couple of weeks. Yes, I did use some drugs, but they weren't something that would make me lose my mind and want more. But it's nothing, ok? I just… I needed to use it. I couldn't keep myself grounded, and I was itching for it and I just went there and I sort of… slipped. It won't happen again."

"Don't say something that you don't even mean," snapped Luke. "Damn it." He turned away from Sam. He rested his hand on his hip and ran his other hand through his hair. Sam saw him taking deep steady breathing and he felt a chill run down his spine. The closed space of the room was suddenly chilly. Sam shuddered and wrapped his arms around himself.

"L-Luke, it's getting cold here," said Sam, trying not to stutter too much. "You might need to calm down."

"I'm calm," he said, but his voice wasn't calm at all. And Sam felt his anger creeping through their bond into him. "I just…" he took a deep breath and it was warm again and Sam let out a small sigh of relief. "I don't want to lose you, Sam."

Sam felt his mouth go dry. He didn't know what to do. They didn't have these kind of conversations before, and he wasn't sure if now was the right time to have it. It wasn't like he was going to stop Luke from talking, even if wherever they were right now, wasn't the right place for confessing. "You won't," he finally whispered back and took a tentative step forward.

Luke only shook his head and Sam stopped walking. He felt helpless and he didn't know what to do. And then Luke took another deep breathe and straightened his back.

He talked as he turned towards the door, "I hope you won't do anything stupid that will endanger your life. Like I said before, I don't want to lose you. Your loss for me will be… heartbreaking. And I won't take it well. You're part of my life, whether you like it or not, whether you  _accepted_ it or not. I don't care. Just know, if you'll hurt yourself in any shape or form, it will break me."

And then he was out of the door, clicked it shut behind him. Sam let out a groan of distress and he rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. He didn't know what he should do. He knew that the sensible and the right decision would be to say no to anything that has to do with Crowley and his gang and his drugs, and go find Luke and hug him and tell him that he is sorry that he wouldn't do that and let Luke into his life and let him help him, but… the other part, the torturous evil part of him, didn't want to listen to him. It had a mind of its own and it was good at twisting Sam in ways that Sam couldn't control.

He was a mess.

And he didn't know how to dig himself out of it.

* * *

 

It was yet another party night and Sam was sitting by the far wall, nursing a bottle of water. The party was at a full blast. People were crammed in the Novaks house living room, dancing and making out on every available surface. Sam hadn't seen Luke yet, he didn't think he'd be able to hold a two sentenced conversation with him if he did.

He was jittery. He had been jittery all day long.

He wouldn't have been like this if he was more serious about his recovery. He was serious, but he wasn't too focused on it.

Dean was going to be pissed. So pissed that Sam was sure that he wouldn't be able to get out of it alive. Dean's rage was something that Sam never wanted to be at the end of. He was positive that knowing how Sam was suffering and how he didn't take his medicines accordingly, and was hanging out with Crowley from time to time, was going to make Dean see red. He was also positive that Dean would cut him into pieces.

Sam sighed.

What the hell was he doing with his life?

He wanted to get better. He still wanted that. He wanted to be a better brother to Dean, not a burden that he had to carry with him all the time. And it wasn't like 3 months in a rehab was cheap. And here he was, throwing away everything that Dean had done for him.

And now he was dragging Luke down with him too.

He was saved from his own thoughts as someone sat down beside him. Sam turned his head and looked at who it was. It was the red-haired girl from their first day of school. Luke's little sister.

"Hello," she said and smiled at him brightly. She had bunny teeth and a wide mouth, and her nose was identical to Luke's. "I'm Charlie."

"Sam," he replied quickly, extended his hand. She grasped it firmly and flashed him another smile.

"I know who  _you_  are, Sam. Everyone knows."

The way she said that Sam was positive that she wasn't lying and she meant it. The only thing that Sam could do now, was give her a small smile.

After a moment of silence, Sam asked. "Why aren't you in school with us?"

"I don't need it," she said simply, shrugging.

"Oh, how come?" He was trying to make a small conversation so he wouldn't fall back to his own bad thoughts.

"I'm already smart, and going back to school would put me back from my high intelligence."

"Oh really?"

"Yes, you have no idea how smart I am. I'm smart enough to call you on your bullshit, and you thinking that no one knows what you've been really up to, Sam."

Sam felt his insides go cold from dread. He hoped that his face didn't show it. He plastered a smile on his face. "What do you mean? I'm not up to on anything."

Charlie looked straight into his eyes and Sam realized that she just  _knew_. Maybe it was one of her angelic powers.

"You're dark. Really, depressingly, dark," Charlie frowned at him, her smile was long gone now and she looked too serious. An expression that didn't suit her at all, Sam realized. "I have no idea what Luc-Luke saw in you, but I'm not here to judge his choices. It wasn't really his choice, but that's a whole other thing that I'm not willing to discuss with you right now. Or anytime in the near future. All I'm going to say is that you need to be honest with him. He… he is different. He is my big brother and I won't stand here and see him crumble into pieces by a mere human being."

"I'm not going to hurt him," Sam said. His voice was hoarse.

"I'm not saying that you will, but I'm not saying that you won't. It happens," she shrugged. "But just know that the right thing for you to do is to talk to him and tell him what's exactly happening with you. And what happened before the summer holidays."

"How did you know?"

Charlie gave him a smile, "I have my ways of finding out about people that are connected to my family," she shrugged. "I'm their little sister, but I'm very protective of my brothers. Prove yourself worthy for my big brother and I will accept you as a part of my family."

"But… we are not in a relationship."

"I know that you are not in a relationship, but it doesn't stop me from giving you a small warning."

"Okay."

"And it's not like you guys are not gonna be in a relationship in no time, since you guys are soul-mates and stuff."

"Okay."

"And it's not like you guys won't stop having sex when you  _do_  get together."

"Hey!"

"What?" she said. "I'm just saying how it is. You should've been around when Cas and Dean started at it. It was gross." She started making gagging noises and Sam would've been dumb to not agree with her, because he did hear them going at it for hours when Cas would stay the night at their house. "Anyways, enjoy the party. And I hope I'll see you soon." She gave him another smile and then left him by himself.

Sam rested his head over his hand, feeling miserable and tired. He wanted nothing more than to go to bed and sleep as long as he could, since it was Saturday tomorrow and they didn't have school. The thought of his bed made him sigh longingly and he didn't even stop the yawn that left his mouth.

"Bored?"

Sam started at the familiar voice and he quickly looked to his right where Luke was sitting beside him. "Just tired," he said, trying not to fidget.

"It is kind of boring, to be honest. No one to dance with," said Luke and took a drink from his bottle of water.

"Not drinking?" asked Sam, surprised.

Luke shook his head and shrugged, but didn't give an answer. Sam didn't pry. He learned from earlier stages of their friendship that if Luke wanted to talk about something then he would, and no matter what Sam did he wouldn't say anything else other than what he wanted to say.

They sat side by side and looked around the room. "If I wasn't this tired I would dance with you, although you know that I don't like dancing."

"I know," replied Luke. "You are not as bad as you make it sound like."

Sam let out a small laugh and said, "Thanks." His laughter turned into a yawn and Luke looked at him with fondness in his eyes. Luke lifted his hand and pushed a stray hair aside and looked at him.

"Do you want me to take you home?"

Sam blinked at him droopily, "I came here with Dean." Luke already knew that, Sam had no doubt, but he felt like he needed to point it out. "But I wouldn't mind it if you'd take me home."

Luke gave him a nod and he stood up, lifting Sam up with him, by gripping at his arm.

The ride back home was quiet. Luke's car that he used only in autumn and winter time, was warm and Sam felt fuzzy from trying not to fall asleep. By the time they got back to Sam's house Sam was sure that if he didn't go to bed right now he was going to fall asleep in the car and it would've been embarrassing to say the least.

Luke pulled up in front of his house and Sam suppressed another yawn with the back of his hand. He felt Luke's eyes on him as he did so and then turned his head and smiled at him sleepily.

"Thanks for the ride, instead of letting me sleep at your house again," he murmured.

"My pleasure," said Luke. His voice was soft. "Hey, do you have any plans for tomorrow evening?"

"Hmm… don't think so. Why?"

"Will you go out with me?"

Sam blinked at him. "Hm?"

"On a date. Will you go out with me?"

"That'd be lovely, yes."

Luke gave him a smile and Sam hummed, closing his eyes sleepily. After a moment he opened them again. He felt his breath leaving him, yet again, as he realized that Luke was close to his face. He looked different in darker tone of lights, but Sam was finding it hard to describe what he saw in front of him.

"You're adorable," whispered Luke, his minty breath fanning over Sam's breath. Sam blushed at the compliment but didn't say anything. Luke lifted his head and softly kissed his forehead. Sam almost melted into Luke but he pulled back at the last second and looked at Luke.

"I'm sorry about today."

"Don't mention it, yeah?" said Luke, and caressed his face with the back of his hand. He kissed his forehead again. "Now go in, before you crash in here."

Sam nodded and then got out of the car. Luke waited for him to go in the house before he drove off.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> any reviews? please? it'll make my day :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9/12:**

He didn't know how to behave himself around Sam. Whenever he saw him around school, or outside school, he would tell himself to take deep breathes before talking to Sam. It would help for the first couple of minutes, but then Sam would smile, or say something and he would go back to being a mess.

He never had to confront these kind of feelings, these kind of emotions, but… he wanted to learn how to control them. Years ago he mastered the ability to conceal his real emotions from people. But he felt like he couldn't do it while he was with Sam. He had that kind of effect on him where he couldn't control himself.

He found himself kissing Sam on more than one occasion. And when he would start, he didn't know how to stop himself from doing so. It was a good thing that Sam didn't stop him from doing so, maybe he was as desperate for the touches, as he was? Maybe he was done being alone? Maybe he was done feeling lonely?

Luke never thought of these things before he met Sam and recognized him as his soul-mate.

At first he was confused. Sam was dark. His soul was dark. Angels could see people's souls even if they didn't want to. When he saw Sam's he was speechless. He didn't know how to react to it. Luckily for him, Gabriel was with him at that moment and he took care of it by talking to Sam. And after that everything went downhill. He couldn't stop thinking about Sam, couldn't stop dreaming about Sam, everything was about Sam. He wanted nothing more than to be with Sam. He found himself talking about Sam to his siblings, but they didn't pay him much attention since they knew that it was because of Sam being his soul-mate and because he had the urge for talking about him, nonstop. Because they knew that he wanted Sam like he never wanted anyone in his entire existence.

Charlie was the most supportive of them all, she would always talk to him, even if they weren't that close. She'd lean against the kitchen counter as he rattled on and on about Sam's life, or what he wore today at school, or how his hair looked that one time when they were outside and Sam sharply turned around and his hair flew around him. He talked about how he'd get this pleased, satisfied smile on his face as he would eat his veggie-burger. He would laugh loudly at whatever his friends would say at that time. And when he laughed…

Luke swallowed, staring up at his bedroom ceiling, arms up under his head, while he lay in his bed. The party was over hours ago and Luke was still awake, being an insomniac, he didn't know what to do better than think about Sam. And his smile.

It was like his face was full of sunshine that broke through a cloudy sky, after a rainy day. Luke would feel his chest bursting with  _something_  that he couldn't quite point out. But seeing Sam's face like that… he wanted nothing more than to put a smile on his face all the time.

And then there were the times when they would hang out. He never thought that it was possible to be as comfortable around a human being, as he did with Sam. He felt calm, and secure. He was relaxed and he could be himself, not fully, but he could still tell Sam whatever was in his mind without being judged or being ridiculed for it. Sam actually listened to him and the way Sam would stare at him made Luke's insides go warm.

Luke loved spending time with Sam.

He admired Sam's intelligence and easiness. Admired the fact that Sam wouldn't get tired of talking about a subject that some people would find boring. And he wasn't one of those people where they would try to make a small conversations just to fill in the awkward silences. Sam would just relax and not speak.

There were problems, though. There were things that Luke tried to overlook, but couldn't. Sam had a dark past that was catching up with him pretty fast. He was a drug addict. He claimed that he was over them, but Luke was sure that he wasn't. He might've tried not to go back to his old habits, Luke could give him that, but he knew that it didn't last, or help. Three months in the hospital, regular psychiatrist visits, and they didn't help him to simply take a step back from it.

Luke sighed and closed his eyes.

And today when Crowley talked to him… Luke felt his anger boiling through his veins. He took calming breaths and tried not to think about it too much. Crowley was his usual cocky self. He just went to him, greeted him, and then started talking shit about Sam. Really, Luke knew how Crowley loved to rile people up, but  _he_  was a master at playing the card of indifference with just the right amount of possessiveness that said 'if you fuck up with a person that I deeply care about, you'll be dead'. Crowley had smirked at him and then left with his gang of friends.

At that time he could feel Sam's anxiety and mixed up emotions swirling around him. He even could feel Sam's anger, which was extremely strong, through it and as he finished talking with Crowley he tried to calm down for both of their sakes. He saw Sam's angry face, saw how he was clenching his fists, as if he was holding back. He also saw concern in his gaze, something that still threw Luke. How could a human being be so caring for him? The said human was his soul-mate, so it was understandable to see that kind of reaction from him. But it still didn't stop Luke from questioning it.

Then he had to have Sam in private with him to make sure that he was feeling okay on his own. He didn't show it, he didn't say anything about, he chose to kiss Sam's face in order to be calm and collected. He was still shaking, inside, from anger and he needed to seek comfort from Sam in order to not go after Crowley to actually show him that he really meant what he said about him being dead.

He had carefully avoided Sam's lips, like he always did. He avoided them for a reason; he didn't think if he was ready to seal that deal. If they were ready to take that step. A kiss for him meant something, especially, if it was with Sam. The right time would present itself and Luke was patiently waiting for it.

His thoughts were cut short as his phone chimed up, alerting him for a new message. He looked at his bedside table and looked at the time. It was past four in the morning and he frowned. Who would write to him at this time of the night? He shrugged and stretched his arm to get his phone. It was from Sam.

**Sam:** _y rnt u sleep? Go 2 bed. Cant sleep._

Luke raised an eyebrow. Sam's texting was weird. It looked like he was half-asleep when he sent him the message. Sam never texted him unless they had an arrangement to meet or something. They didn't text much, which was kind of disappointing for Luke because he wanted to know everything there was to know about Sam.

**Luke:** _I can't sleep. I didn't want to keep you up… Why are you up anyways? I thought you were tired._

Sam didn't reply for a minute or two. Eventually, Luke's phone chimed again.

**Sam:** _idk the bond dsnt seem calm. I cant keep my eyes open but I cant sleep either._

**Luke:** _oh. I'm sorry. I'll try to stay calm. You should try and sleep._

**Sam:** _mkay. Ill tty tmorrow, yeh?_

**Luke:** _Yeah. Good night, Sam._

**Sam:** _wait!_

Luke raised an eyebrow at his screen but didn't reply back. He waited for Sam to write whatever he wanted to say. He didn't have to wait long.

**Sam:** _what shld I wear tomorw? For the date._

**Luke:** _Casual clothes are fine. I'm not planning on anything too extravagant._

**Sam:** _hmm k cool. And 1 mor thing? Wear descent cloths not the shit that u wore today at schhol deal? its cold_

Luke chuckled as he read the message.

**Luke:** _Deal. Now go to bed._

**Sam:**   _Don't boss me arnd._

Luke smiled at the message. His phone chimed.

**Sam:** _night. C ya tmrw._

**Luke:** _good night, Sam._

He didn't get a reply back, and it wasn't as if he was waiting for one. Okay, he was waiting for one, but whatever. He placed his phone back down on the night table and tried to calm down his racing heart. He didn't want to think about their date. It wasn't like he was doing anything big, but he was more nervous about the fact that he was going out on a  _date_ with Sam. The thought was exciting and extremely scary.

* * *

 

Sam was nervous. He kept changing clothes. He wore his black shirt and then remembered that Luke said he could wear casual clothes because he wasn't planning on anything too big. He changed his black shirt into his favorite navy one that hugged his chest at all the right places, wore his tight-ish jeans, and boots. He wanted to impress Luke somehow and well, no one could really blame him for that. He ran his hands through his hair and grabbed his jacket from his desk. He walked out of his bedroom and went down the stairs to the living room.

Dean was in the kitchen doing the dishes since it was his day to do them. Castiel was there too and Sam could hear them talking in low voices. Sam sat down on the couch and tapped his knee as he waited for a text from Luke. He still didn't know where they were going, but he realized that he didn't really care. As long as he could spend time with Luke, he was okay with whatever Luke had planned out for them.

He was kind of nervous. It'd be the first time he'd be out on a real date with someone after he had been hospitalized. He didn't know how he was going to act, what he was going to talk about, and how he should behave. He knew that it was stupid things to think about but he couldn't stop the flaw of them. He knew Luke, somewhat. But he also wanted to know more about him.

Sam checked the time on his phone, it was 5:50 and they agreed on meeting up at 6. Luke said that he'd text him when he'd get to his house. He was getting impatient. He knew that Luke was one of those guys who would do as they promised, and if Luke said he'd be there at 6, then he would. His worries were pointless. Sam sighed and tipped his head back, resting it against the back of the couch.

Dean found him like that as he walked into the living room, Castiel behind him. "Alright?" he asked.

Sam turned his head and looked at him as he sat beside him, and Cas sat on the armchair. Sam nodded, "Yeah. Just a bit nervous about the date."

"Wait, what?" asked Dean and turned to look at him. "What date?"

Sam lifted his head off from the couch and frowned at Dean. "The date that I have with Luke?" It came out as a question.

"You didn't tell me you had a date with him."

"I think I forgot, but I'm telling you now."

Dean stared at him. He looked like he wanted to say something that he was holding back. Sam had a small idea of what Dean wanted to say to him, but Cas placed his hand over his shoulder and said to Dean, "You know my brother won't hurt him."

"Dean-" Sam started.

"No, no, I know. It's just," Dean sighed and then pinched the bridge of his nose. "Are you ready to be in a relationship now? After what happened before summer?"

Sam tried not to sound too angry as he replied. "Yes, Dean. I'm kind of ready for it. Luke knows that I'm not hundred percent ready for it, but he is also willing to be with me and take things as slowly as possible." He then said slowly, "And it's not like we have a choice. I'm his soul-mate, after all. You know how it works, right?"

Dean nodded. "Yeah I know. I'm just… I don't want you to get hurt."

Sam's heart clenched and he reached out and squeezed Dean's shoulder. "I won't. I'm sure that Luke won't hurt me in any shape or form." As he said it he shared a look with Castiel over Dean's shoulder. Sam knew that Castiel knew about the problem they had, about not being able to hold hands because Luke unintentionally hurt Sam. What Dean does not know, won't hurt him.

Dean only nodded at him and clapped him on the knee. Just then there was a knock on the front door and Sam jumped a bit. He swallowed and then stood up. As he walked he heard Dean mutter something and heard a thump and an 'ow' from Dean. He knew that whatever he said Castiel had disagreed with him and punched him on the arm. Sam took a deep breath as he reached out and opened the door, autumn crispy cold wind waffling over his face.

His face split into a wide smile and he let out a sigh of, "Hey."

Luke returned his smile. "Hey yourself." His eyes raked over Sam's body and Sam shifted self-consciously. For split second he panicked and thought that he looked like crap, and he even half-turned to run upstairs to change again, but then Luke's eyes returned to his face and well, Sam's internal debate on his appearance was out of the window in a second.

Luke looked, well, he always looked good. He was wearing a tight fitted, V-neck, green shirt with dark blue jeans, with his leather jacket on. His hair was styled in a way that Sam clenched his hand into a fist so he wouldn't reach out and ruffle it more. His cheeks colored as he realized that Luke caught him staring at him.

Thankfully, he didn't say anything on that. He said, "Ready to go?"

Sam nodded. "I'm gonna grab my jacket. You can come in if you want to?"

"Thank you, but I'll just wait here," replied Luke. Sam gave him a smile and walked back into the living room.

Dean and Cas were staring at him with identical guilty expressions on their faces. And Sam just knew that they were eavesdropping. Sam gave them a look and grabbed his jacket from the couch. "Don't be late!" he heard Dean yell after him. He simply sighed and shook his head. He shrugged on his jacket and walked out of the front door. Luke was leaning against his car, with his hands inside his jacket's pockets.

He smiled again as he saw Sam approach him. He then pushed himself off the car as Sam got closer to him. He cupped Sam's face and leant up to kiss Sam on the cheek. Sam closed his eyes as his warm lips connected with his cheek. It felt nice.

Luke pulled back and looked at Sam. His eyes were soft and warm. Sam felt fuzzy inside. Luke gave him a smile and then he opened the door of the passenger side of his car for Sam. Sam got in and Luke shut the door after him. Seconds later Luke was inside the car too, getting it started.

As they hit the road, Sam reached out and turned the radio on. Some classic rock music filled the car and Sam relaxed back in his seat. The car ride was mostly silent, aside from the music.

Sam chanced a glance at Luke. He looked relaxed and seemed like he didn't feel the need to make small awkward conversations. Sam thought, as he gazed at Luke's profile, that he could do this. He could be in a relationship with Luke, because Luke was calm and collected. He was understanding, and didn't push things. And Sam thought he'd never get tired from how good-looking Luke was. He was beautiful. There was no other way of putting it.

"You're staring," said Luke as they hit the red light.

Sam bit his lower lip and then said. "Just admiring the view." He knew that he sounded like a sap, but he didn't care.

Luke's lips twitched, but didn't say anything. He was about to drive, but then Sam surged forward and kissed him on the cheek. It was the first time he had ever done it and the reaction he got from Luke was something that he'd never forget. He quickly turned his head and stared at Sam with wide eyes. Sam heard his breath hitch and he swallowed hard as he realized how close they were. Sam licked his lips and then gave Luke a small smile. Luke let out a whoosh of breath that fanned over Sam's face. Sam noted that Luke was gripping the wheel with as much strength as he humanly could, and he felt pride swell up in his chest as he noticed the kind of reaction he had on Luke.

There was a horn beeping behind them and Luke shook himself out of his daze and started to drive again. Sam sat back and bit his lower lip, a smile threatening to break over his face.

After that, Sam started talking about the school projects that he had to do with Kevin, and complained about his Econ teacher and his teaching techniques. He kept it light and it seemed like it was a good distraction because he felt Luke relax as he drove them into the city.

After a moment Sam sat up straighter in his seat and his mouth opened up in surprise. "Luke, are you taking me to bowl?"

"Yeah. I thought something light would be a good first date," said Luke, looking uneasy.

Sam turned and gave him a big smile. "I haven't been bowling for ages. This is awesome." Sam saw Luke let out a sigh of relief and gave him a smile in return. Luke parked his car a bit away from the front doors and they got out of the car. They walked towards the building, Sam an excited ball of mess and Luke calm and collected, but he had a small smile tugging at his lip. As they got closer to the sign up table, the girl behind it told them that there weren't free isles and they were fairly packed. And then she mentioned that they had a small tournament that they'd hold on every Saturday, and they could join in one of the teams if they wanted to. Luke turned and looked at Sam at that.

"Feeling competitive?" asked Luke.

"Sure," he said shrugging. Luke told the girl that they were in and she gave them a smile and asked for their shoe number.

Few minutes later they were standing beside a group of mostly adult men and women, who were in their early thirties, and looked like a 'real-team', with wearing identical shirts with their names on them, and even having a name for their team that Sam didn't quiet catch, but he smiled and nodded at them politely. Greetings were exchanged between them and they were set to go.

There were 3 more teams there and they all seemed to be ill at ease as the evening went on. It seemed like they had been doing this for a long time. Their 'team' had two women and three men, and the two of them were couples, while the other man said that his wife was very-much pregnant and this wasn't her arena anymore, but she would just love to be here with them all. Sam soon found out why she was so bummed out about not being able to be here.

It was intense, but it was fun at the same time. The team that he and Luke were in seemed to be good at what they were doing. And they were really competitive. In about 2 turns it was going to be Sam's turn and as he walked towards the shelf were they had the balls he felt Luke behind him.

"Nervous?" he asked as Sam picked up one of the ball and tried the holes.

Sam nodded. "A little. I just don't want to let them down, you know? I haven't played for a long time and I don't know." He chuckled nervously.

"Hey," said Luke coming close to him. He rested his hand over Sam's elbow and gave it a squeeze. "You'll be fine."

Sam could only nod. It was his turn and he positioned himself at the start of their aisle. He took a deep breath, and remembered all the tips that Dean gave him. He concentrated and then took three fast steps forwards and snapped his arm up, sending the ball flying. He almost closed his eyes and as the ball swerved a bit to the side as it went, but then seemed to change its mind and went straight, leaving only three pins standing.

"Yes!" he said and turned around to give his team a smile. But his eyes landed on Luke and he could see the smile that he had on his lips. Luke gave him a nod which Sam answered with a smile.

After that, everything passed by a blur. Luke threw so many strikes that it caused one of the men on their team to look at him with so much awe and respect that the other members started to tease him for it, joking that he had a crush on him. Sam only smiled as Luke turned and gave him a wink.

This didn't go unnoticed by one of the ladies in their team. She looked back and forth between them, realization dawning on her face. Sam noticed her looking and felt that she was going to make them leave, but then she smiled at him and gave him a wink and tilted her head to Luke, who was positioned to bowl again, and gave thumbs up. Sam felt himself blush but he nodded at her. It was good to know that they weren't going to get kicked out of here because they were together.

Two hours later the game was over and their team won. Which was good because Sam would've been kind of sad, if they didn't. The people in their team were good.

As they changed back into their own shoes, the team members were standing a bit far away from them, talking about going somewhere for drinks. The lady that gave him thumbs up walked to him as he stood up and shrugged his jacket on.

"Hey," she said. "We were gonna go to grab some drinks, and it'd be cool if you and your partner would join us." She said and looked at Luke as he joined in beside Sam, listening to what she was saying. "But if you guys have plans then it's totally cool."

Sam turned and looked at Luke, and shrugged, indicating that he was fine with whatever he'd decide for them. Luke looked at him and shrugged too, "Like I said I didn't plan anything specific, so if you want to go, we can."

"You sure?" asked Sam.

"Yeah. It'd be fun," he said.

"So, coming?" the lady asked, and when they nodded, she gave them a smile. "Awesome. Do you guys have a car? You could meet us at John's, do you know where it is?" When Luke nodded she gave him a smile and said that she'd see them there in a bit and went back to her team. They walked out of the building, and Sam and Luke followed behind them.

Ones in the car, Luke turned and looked at Sam. Sam gave him a small smile and said, "Thank you."

"The night isn't over yet," replied Luke.

"I know," said Sam. "But it's going great. I haven't felt this relaxed for a long time. So, thank you."

Luke didn't say anything in return he just turned and started his car. The ride to the bar was silent. Sam chose to stare out of the window, instead of staring at Luke. Because he knew if he started to look he wouldn't be able to hold back the urge to kiss him.

It almost scared him, the emotions that he'd feel towards Luke. They were still unfamiliar to him, but he was accepting them as much as he could. Luke would have these confused emotions that Sam could feel through their bond, whenever they'd have a "moment". Sam would always give Luke a smile and tell him that it was "okay". They were both unfamiliar with it, and they were both willing to be there for each other.

Sam glanced at Luke's hand that was resting over his thigh, close to the controller of the car. He knew that it was risky thing to do, he didn't want to ruin their night by ending up being a mess, but… Sam slowly lifted his hand and brushed his fingertips over Luke's hand. He glanced up at Luke's face to see his reaction. Luke's face was frozen, his eyes had a faraway look to them, and the hand over the wheel had tightened.

Sam could feel a pull that was coming from Luke's hand and into his fingers. It was like his fingers had a mind of their own and so Sam found himself caressing Luke's knuckles. He saw Luke's fingers twitch but he didn't move them, or his hand.

"You okay?" Sam whispered. His voice was ragged, and his heart was beating fast.

"Yeah," Luke answered, clearing his throat. "You?"

"Yeah," said Sam, his lips twitching up into a small smile. He let his hand travel up Luke's arm, and he felt a thrill inside him as he saw Luke shudder. Sam's hand landed at the back of his neck and he played with the hair at the nape of his neck. Luke shuddered more and he gripped the wheel with both hands. Liking the reaction from Luke, Sam thumbed at Luke's neck, and then let his hand wander over his ear. Luke cursed under the touch and their car gave a violent jolting stop. Luke turned and looked at him with big eyes, his cheeks were flushed and his lips were parted and Sam felt his insides tighten at his look. He swallowed.

"Oops?" said Sam, trying to make a light out of this situation.

After a moment of silence, Luke relaxed and shook his head. "You have no idea the effect that you have on me, do you?"

Sam leaned close, their faces was inches apart and whispered. "I'm starting to." And then he leaned closer in and kissed Luke's cheek, close to his mouth, and then he was out of the car. It took approximately three minutes for Luke to leave the car, and Sam waited for him, while leaning against the car.

Luke gave him a look that had Sam smiling at him, pleased with his reaction. He leaned in kissed Luke's forehead and tugged at his arm. They went in to the pub and looked around a bit trying to find where their teams' table was. They found them at the back of the bar, laughing and talking.

"Hey guys, you made it!" said the lady and there was a moment of bustle and hustle as they arranged their chairs and made a space for them. "Order anything you'd like, yeah? It's on the house." At Sam's look, she added. "It's my husband's. So…" she shrugged. Luke smiled at her and thanked her. Sam stared at him in wonder, because this was the first time he witnessed Luke give a smile to anyone that wasn't him, or his family member. It was a good look on him, but he wasn't going to question him about it now.

Luke ordered a beer, while Sam chose a non-alcoholic cocktail. Everyone looked at him, except Luke who was used to Sam being not a drinker.

"You don't drink?" asked one of the men, Jack.

"Uhm no. I don't like it. My brother does a better job for both of us," they laughed at that and he felt himself relax a bit.

"So," Kerry, who was Jack's wife, asked, as their drinks were served. "How did you guys meet?"

"At school," said Luke easily, sharing a smile with Sam.

"School?" asked Jack. "You guys don't look like teens."

"I'm a few years older than Sam, but we are at school, yes," replied Luke.

"It must've been so cute when you guys first met," said Ashley, the lady that invited them to the pub. She sighed and placed her fist under her chin, gazing at them.

Sam chuckled, "It was kind of tense, actually. And this is our first proper date."

"What?" she said. "Oh, if I had known, I wouldn't have asked you to come. I'm so sorry."

"No, no! Don't apologize. It's cool. Don't worry," Sam gave her a reassuring smile and after that conversations were held. Sam found out that Kerry had two toddlers, and Ashley had 3 of her own. Their other friend, Kate, who was pregnant and wasn't with them, was expecting her first child. And he found out that they all went to the same high school, and were high school sweethearts, and that Jack, James and John (who was the owner and Kerry's husband) were all siblings, and had a few years difference between them.

At one point, Luke excused himself from Sam and went with the other men to play pool. Which left Sam with the ladies. He was about to go and join the men, but he saw them staring at him. Sam turned in his chair and raised an eyebrow. "Yes?"

"You're one lucky bastard, Sam, because damn," said Ashley, openly checking out Luke.

"He is a good guy," said Kerry, staring at Luke.

Sam turned in his chair and looked over at Luke, who was leaning up against the pool table and was shooting. He had taken his jacket off when they first got in, and he had his black shirts' sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His biceps stood up as he stroked and Sam couldn't look away. Who could blame him? He was really attractive amongst the other men. Sam could pass the others as good-looking, but he couldn't do that to Luke. He was cracking up a smile, and joking more than Sam had ever saw him do and it made Sam's inside tighten.

"He is," he said, a smile playing over his lips.

"Do you love him?" asked Ashley.

Sam whipped his head back to her direction, but he realized that he didn't have an answer to that.

Kerry spoke, "It is okay if you're confused if you love him or not. I had the similar reaction when Kate asked me how I felt about John. We were dating, yes, but I didn't know if what I was feeling towards him would've been described as that, you know? It took me few days to finally realize that whatever I was feeling  _was_  love. And I never stopped loving him since."

"It was too sweet," said Ashley. "It was disgustingly sweet watching them fall for each other. We kept pushing them to each other, since we were all kind of already together, and then when he finally managed to ask her out, we all sighed a deep sigh of relief, because they'd been at it for a long time. And well, after that, the rest is a history, as they say."

"Let me tell you one thing, Sam," said Kerry. She was a beautiful lady and had a motherly type of image to her. She had blonde hair and a kind face that reminded Sam of his own mother. "Luke is smitten by you. Completely, head over hills, smitten. I've never seen anyone look at someone just the way he looks at you. It's… beautiful, and I hope you guys make each other happy."

"Thank you," said Sam, feeling overwhelmed. He knew that Luke was passionate about him, had some feelings directed to him, but he never really paid much attention to it. He felt eyes on him and knew that it was Luke who was staring their way. Sam felt calmness and something through their bond and Sam felt himself relax. He knew that Luke overheard what the ladies said, and feeling the calmness through their bond was good.

"He is staring at you," Ashley whispered.

"I know," he said and smiled at them.

"And he is coming your way," said Kerry and winked at him. Sam turned his head and sure enough Luke was walking toward him.

"Hey," he said, leaning in and kissing Sam at the top of his head. Sam ignored Kerry and Ashley's collective "aww"s and "that's so sweet" and concentrated on what Luke was saying, "I want us to go somewhere before it'll be too late." Sam nodded and then stood up.

Sam turned and wanted to shake the ladies hands but they both stood up and gave him a hug. Sam was a bit surprised at first but then he hugged them both back. He looked at where their husbands were, but they didn't seem to mind the affection so he guessed it was ok. They said their goodbyes and headed out of the bar.

"Where to now?" asked Sam as they sat in the car. Luke started the car and rode them out of the parking lot.

"To our place. Up the hill."

Sam gave him a smile and leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

* * *

 

Sam laid back on the grass, looking up at the darkened night sky that was filled with stars. It was surprisingly a cloudless night. Considering it was almost the end of November. Luke was lying next to him. The back of their hands were almost brushing against each other, and Sam was feeling pleasant tingling up his arm. It wasn't painful, or uncomfortable. Which was good.

"It's beautiful up here," whispered Sam, afraid that he'd shutter their peaceful moment.

"It is, isn't it?" murmured Luke, his voice sounded distant.

Sam turned his head and looked at Luke's profile. He'd never get tired of staring at him. He looked pale under the half-moon, his hair waving under the wind, he looked pleased. Even their bond was calm and pleased. "I like spending time with you," said Sam, before realizing he started talking. "I've never had this before. I had been in a relationship, of course, but it was never like this. With her, it was all about hurt, and not comfort. It was all about her controlling me, manipulating me, I couldn't get my head together for a second, because she was always there, and I hated it. I hated it so much that when she… died, I finally found peace and asked Dean for help. I… I don't want to hurt anyone ever again. Because at that time, I wasn't the only one that was hurting, because Dean was there from the start and Dean saw through me to the fact that I wasn't being treated right. And now…" he swallowed and licked his dried up lips. "Now I'm going back to my old habits, but I'm realizing that I have found something amazing," he fixed his gaze at Luke. "I have found something amazing and I can't seem to let go off my past. I need help, Luke. I need you to help me."

Luke turned on his side and leaned up against his elbow, gazing down at Sam. "I will help you, if you are willing to accept my help, Sam. I can't do anything if you are not willing for it to happen. You know how it is."

Sam nodded. "I know," he whispered. They were close and Sam's breathing was ragged, his heart was beating fast.

"Your heart's beating fast," murmured Luke, and just like that the atmosphere changed.

"I know," mumbled Sam, barely moving his lips.

"And you are nervous…"

"I am."

"Do I make you nervous?" Luke whispered, he was dangerously close, and Sam was shaking with anticipation. He knew what was happening but he stopped himself from hoping.

"Yes," Sam said, his voice ragged and foreign to his ears.

"Good or bad nervous?"

"Good," Sam breathed. "Always good."

When Luke kissed, it felt like he kissed with everything he had in him. Every single emotion he felt at that moment was transferred into the kiss. Sam found himself arching up into Luke's mouth as if his life was depending on it.

Luke kissed passionately. Luke kissed with an open mouth.

Sam felt like he was being sucked in by him. It was intense, and hot, and Sam never wanted this to end. Luke cupped his cheek and tilted his head up a bit and sneaked his tongue in his mouth. Sam moaned at the contact and lifted his hand to cup the back of Luke's neck to keep him in place. Sam rubbed their tongues together and fisted at Luke's hair, pulling it. He bit down at his lower lip that elicited a grunt from Luke.

Luke tightened his hold on Sam's cheek and started to kiss him with enthusiasm that made Sam gasp and clutch at Luke desperately. He felt his back arch off the grass and he pressed himself up against Luke. Luke pinned him down back and laid on top of him. His heavy weight sending pleasant jolts throughout his body.

He couldn't stop the moan that escaped his lips. They clutched at each other desperately. They bit their lips, tongues rubbed at each other, everything was hot and intense. Sam didn't want to stop, but he knew if he didn't catch his breath he would be suffocated to death. With a wet sound they parted and breathed into each other's open mouths. Luke leaned his forehead against his and let out a long sigh. He gazed down at Sam and gave him a small smile, liking how ragged and flushed Sam looked. Sam returned his smile and lifted his hand and caressed his cheek. Luke's eyes fluttered shut and he rested his forehead back down on Sam's. Sam kissed the corner of his mouth and closed his eyes.

"Okay?" Luke whispered and kissed Sam's lips chastely.

"Okay," replied back Sam, kissing him back.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaand they kissed :3  
> I'd love to receive some feedback :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10/12:**

It was inevitable.

Things were going well. Things were going great. It hadn't been this well for a long time. For a time that Luke didn't even remember existed before he met Sam, before he knew that his soul-mate was born. Before he actually got the chance to meet him. It was beautiful.

Sam was beautiful.

He was broken. He was so broken that Luke was having a hard time believing that he would be able to fix him. But he wasn't going to give up on him. Sam was stubborn, yes, but he could be persuaded in ways that Luke knew he'd be able to do. Sam was willing, but he couldn't stop his stubbornness overruling his willingness.

Luke was going to help him. Luke couldn't simply turn a blind eye on him, when he was obviously in pain and needed Luke as much as Luke needed Sam. So he reached out and placed one hand over his forehead and the other on his hand, palms touching. Sam gasped out loudly, his heart beating going from slow-steady to staccato as Luke  _healed_  him.

* * *

"Stop, Luke. No!" Sam laughed and thrashed around the bed, trying to squirm away from Luke's fingers. Who was tickling him. Very mature.

"I didn't know you were this ticklish," Luke mused as calmly as he could. His insides were feeling all tight and he was feeling flustered. He loved listening to Sam's laughter, especially the ones that he caused. Sam was red in the face, his hair was a mess, and he looked breathless. His eyes were warm with laughter, his face was… Luke didn't know how to really describe it. So it was only logical when he wrapped his arm around Sam's body pulled him close to his, braced himself on his other arm and leaned down to capture his lips into a kiss.

Sam's response was immediate. He moaned deeply at the back of his throat, but he was still smiling as Luke continued to kiss him. He'd never get tired of kissing these lips, he realized. They were intoxicating and addicting. He didn't know if he'd ever be able to exist without feeling them against his own.

They were alone in his house. Gabriel was out, and Castiel was with Dean. So they had the whole place for themselves. When Sam came over earlier that day Luke didn't really know how he was going to behave around Sam after the kiss, but soon it was answered for him as Sam simply leaned forward and kissed him for a second and then claimed that they had homework to catch up with and dragged him up the stairs to his bedroom and spread out his books and started on homework. So Luke followed his lead. When they finished it, Luke started teasing him with touches and when Sam started to squirm on the bed, Luke soon found out that he was extremely sensitive and was ticklish, too.

That's why they were here, in his bed, after the tickle war, kissing like they were on a run. Sam was moaning and making these noises that were making Luke feel hot all over and Sam was arching his back into his chest and Luke could only pull him closer and closer.

"Oh," Sam tipped his head back with a moan and Luke was quick to move his mouth over Sam's neck. He licked his way down to the hollow of Sam's throat, where he bit and licked and sucked, until Sam was a trashing and moving against him, and was babbling incoherently. Luke found out, few weeks after their first kiss, that Sam had an extremely sensitive neck. He'd practically scream if Luke…

Yup. Luke bit down under Sam's ear and licked at the sensitive skin there, and Sam cried out and turned his head to the side to give Luke's exploring mouth an access to everything it needed.

Sam was willing. And that willingness always made Luke feel dizzy with need and anticipation. Anticipation, because he never knew what sounds Sam was going to make if he dragged his teeth in a certain way against his neck, or the way he'd lick and suck at the juncture where his neck and shoulder met.

Sam started pulling at his shirt, clawing at his back and moving him up against his body. Luke obliged readily. Adjusting himself on top of Sam, lips still attached and very much busy, Luke couldn't help but tilt his hips down against Sam. Sam clutched at his back desperately and buckled his hips up against Luke's. Luke moved away few inches and their lips separated with a loud splat. Luke looked down at heaving, messy Sam and he couldn't help but give him a small smile.

"What?" Sam asked breathlessly, his hands still moving under Luke's shirt. It was hard to concentrate on what Sam was saying because Sam's hands on his skin were very distracting. "Why did you stop?"

"I…" Luke didn't know how to say whatever he had to say to Sam, because he didn't want to sound like a dick. And didn't want for Sam to think that he didn't want this. "As much as I want us to… continue this, I'm afraid that if we start it, I won't be able to stop."

Sam frowned and said, "I don't want you to stop, to be honest."

Luke shook his head, "You don't understand. Kissing and making out is fun, unless I get uncontrollably aroused, and by then I will be unstoppable and I don't want that to happen between us, now. Not yet."

Sam stared up at him, and then blinked. Luke could see the wheels working in his head in his eyes. He blinked up at him again and then, said, "Oh. Oh! You mean sex. I'm slow. I'm sorry, but yes, we, uh we need to stop, before, yes. You are right. Sorry."

"Hey, it's okay. Like I said, I just don't want it to happen now," said Luke as he laid back on the bed, on his back.

"Of course, don't worry too much about it," replied Sam and squirmed up a bit.

Neither of them said anything. Luke could  _feel_  Sam's arousal through their bond, but he desperately tried to ignore it, but it was a difficult thing to do, because Sam was just  _there_. He was a few inches away from him and if he wanted to he could move his body just a tiny bit and they'd be at it in no time. But no, he had to be cautious, he had to be a man. He had to wait for the right time.

So, he tried to ignore that arousal and swiveled their conversation into something safer. Well, it kind of wasn't, but it was about them, and he had to share it. But then Sam was talking and he kind of swallowed what he had to say, for now.

"I was wondering, from the other night, our first date?" Luke nodded. "Why did you agree to join in that group of people?"

Luke hummed and then shrugged, "They looked like nice bunch of people."

"You don't simply label people 'nice' if you haven't known them for over a month or so."

"I labeled you as 'nice' even before it was a month," Luke pointed out, carefully avoiding what Sam was trying to coax out of him. It wasn't going to take long, though, Luke knew. He couldn't keep secrets from Sam even if he tried.

"Yeah, it's because you couldn't resist my charms," replied Sam, smiling and teasing.

"No, I couldn't," replied Luke softly. Sam's smile quivered a bit, but didn't leave his face.

"So, the team?" he asked. His voice was softer somehow and it made Luke feel warm again.

"Their souls were white, pure. I didn't see anything bad in them, so I thought it'd be nice to join them."

"Oh right, you can see people's souls," said Sam. And then casually asked, "What does mine look like?"

Luke swallowed and then said, "Dark."

"Oh," said Sam, his voice was smaller. "How dark?"

"Depressingly dark. I see little of whiteness, but it's… it's there and it's ready to burst out of you in no time, but the dark is there."

Sam didn't say anything else as he continued to stare up at the ceiling. They stayed silent like that and Luke could feel Sam's anxiety creeping up in on him through the bond. So he tried to change the subject.

"So, Castiel was doing a little research," he said.

"About what?" asked Sam turning his head to look at him.

"About us. About what happens when I try to hold your hand."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"And?"

"Well," Luke said, licking his lips. This was the hardest part, they never really talked about it. But he had no choice. "It happens because our bond is trying to heal you."

Sam frowned at him. "Heal me?"

"Yes. The scars that your arms have. My angel powers and our bond are trying to heal you up."

Sam turned on his side and looked down at Luke. "What do you mean 'heal me'? I'm fine."

"Sam, we never talked about this, and I know that you really don't want to. But I know. So you don't have to hide anything from me."

"I'm not hiding anything."

"And you are a terrible liar."

They fell silent. It was thick with something that Luke didn't like. Not at all. Not one bit. Suddenly, Sam pushed himself into a sitting position, swung his legs over the bed and just sat there. Luke squirmed up on the bed a bit and leaned his back against the headboard and waited for Sam to… do something. The silence between them stretched, their bond didn't feel right, and it was one of the few things that would make Luke nervous, because he knew that something was going to happen. And it was going to be bad. Not only for him, but for Sam too.

His worries were confirmed as Sam stood up and started to gather up his stuff from the floor and placed them in his bag. Luke sighed.

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like?" Sam snapped, still gathering his things.

"Sam, let's just talk about it okay? It is not that bad."

"Seriously?" said Sam and he whirled around to look at Luke. And yeah, that wasn't a face that Luke wanted to see on Sam's face ever again. "First you tell me that my soul is black, and has little white in it, but it's not as bad as it looks like. And now you're calling me a liar? Just because I told you that I was fine?"

"You asked what I saw of your soul and I answered you truthfully. What did you expect me to do? Lie?" snapped Luke back, unable to contain his anger. "I just want to help you."

"Yeah, well, I don't need your help. I'm perfectly  _fine_."

"Whatever you say, Sam, whatever you say."

Sam clenched his jaw tightly and huffed. He swung his bag against his back and opened the door to the bedroom. Before he got out he turned and looked at Luke. The look that he gave him was something that Luke probably would never be able to forget. Never. "And I thought you were different."

And he left.

* * *

"Kevin?"

"Yes."

"Kevin Tran?"

"Yes."

"That Japanese little dude, who stumbles and talks like he is still in pre-school, and he's got this giant notebook that has awesome shit in it? That Kevin Tran?"

"Yes, Charlie, yes! How many times should I tell you that? Yes, it's that Kevin. The same Kevin that you just described."

"Wow. I never knew you were into nerds."

Gabriel gave Charlie a look. "I didn't either, and it wasn't like I had a choice, so kindly shut up."

"Oh but it's so awesome!" said Charlie, with a bright smile. "When are you going to be official? When are you going to introduce us? I'd love to talk to him!"

"Charlie, I haven't even made a claim yet," Gabriel pointed out. He sipped on his wine and said, "Besides, I'm not gonna make any move towards him till Monday, and it's only Friday."

"What are you going to give him?" asked Charlie and leaned on her hands, looking at him expectantly.

He gave her a look, "You already know the answer to that."

Charlie groaned. "Come on, Gabriel. That guy eats technology and books for a living, not chocolate!"

"He'll like it," Gabriel insisted. Charlie only rolled her eyes and resumed eating her spaghetti.

Luke was playing with his food, with disinterest. He looked like he was few seconds away from snapping at someone for breathing his way. He looked down at his phone which sat primly against his plate, screen black and unchanging. Luke clenched his teeth and stabbed the spaghetti with vehemence, as if it personally offended him. It had it coming, to be honest, it reminded him a lot about certain somebody and how that certain somebody used to suck on it and make noises that were considered sinful in some countries.

Luke sighed. Now was really not the time to think of that.

He hadn't heard from Sam for two days now, and he hadn't seen him at school. He wasn't worried, not so much anyways, he was probably at home and he was taking few days off from… Luke. Luke knew that he had been mean to him, but he couldn't really lie to Sam. That wasn't really in him. Even if he tried, he wouldn't be able to say two words before the truth would spill out of his mouth. And that's exactly what happened with Sam.

Luke sighed again.

"You okay?" asked Charlie, looking at him from the corner of her eyes, as if she was afraid he was going to flip the table over and strangle her. Which would've been a typical behavior of him. But he resisted.

"I'm fine," he grumbled out between his tightly pressed lips. He really didn't want to talk about anything. He didn't feel like talking. He pushed away his half-eaten plate and stood up, grabbing his phone.

"Where are you going?"

"To bed."

"But it's not even eleven!" protested Charlie.

"I'm tired," replied Luke, without a backward glance.

"I hardly see you, Luke. Come on," said Charlie softly.

"Yeah, well, maybe you should stick around a lot more than monthly visits," snapped Luke, without realizing that he did so. He heard her sharp intake of breathe but didn't stop as he quickly went up the stairs to his bedroom, and he, failingly, ignored the guilt that was snatching up at his heart.

* * *

It's been weeks since the last time Luke had seen or heard from Sam. Luke went to school and everyday it was filled with hallways empty of Sam. It was snowing outside, and it was colder by the looks of it. He didn't feel the cold or the warmth of the weather. He simply went along with what humans wore. Today, he wore a gray hoodie with his leather jacket on. He looked like a 'cool' teenager and when he looked at himself in the mirror that morning, he simply shrugged. No point in impressing anyone. And the person that he had to impress wasn't talking to him, but he was kind of already his, so…

He looked down the hallway and saw Gabriel casually draped against one of the lockers as Kevin continued to take out his books from it, only to replace them with other ones. Gabriel looked at Kevin with so much concentration that Luke thought his face was going to get stuck that way. And Kevin was flustered and tried to get hold of his books as much as he could, but he was flailing so much it was almost,  _almost,_  cute. Luke frowned at his own train of thought and then shook his head. He slowly made his way towards the cafeteria, thinking of getting a warm chocolate, because it was really awesome, and then head back home. He didn't feel like staying at school, since there wasn't anyone interesting enough to keep him there.

Sam wasn't around.

Luke had tried to call him, text him, but there was no response. Every time he tried to call, it went straight to voicemail, he tried to text, and it failed to deliver. So Luke let him be. After all, he was a patient man. He had waited decades for Sam, he could wait for a month or so for him again.

But it was hard. He knew what Sam was like, knew how he tasted like, in some places, but it wasn't enough to keep him satisfied. He wanted more, but he couldn't have it now, because he had ruined it.

Luke took his hot chocolate and slowly made his way to his car. He saw that the Impala was parked few cars away from his, and he was almost tempted to go and find Dean and demand information about his brother, but he didn't. Instead he went to his car, got inside and then drove home.

* * *

It was well past evening when he received the call.

Luke was lying down on his bed, still in his day's clothes, as he stared up at the ceiling and listened to Led Zeppelin. He closed his eyes, relaxing deeper into his mattress when his phone started to buzz. At first, he ignored it, but after a while he got that, whoever was calling him, was rather persistent. So he sighed and then leaned up and got his phone from the nightstand. He looked at the screen and frowned. Why was he calling him?

"Hello?" he answered.

"Alright, I don't know what your problem is, or what you guys were thinking, but you guys need to cut the crap and you should let Sam come home, because I understand that you're new to this and shit like that, but come on man, I-"

"Wait, wait, WAIT!" Luke almost yelled, he sat up in his bed and then shut off the music. "What are you talking about, Dean?"

"I'm talking about my brother being hold up in your bedroom," said Dean.

"I thought he was at home?" asked Luke, frowning.

There was a pause. "No, I thought he was with you."

"I haven't seen him for days," answered Luke. "Haven't you asked Castiel? Didn't he say that Sam wasn't here?"

"Yeah, he did, but I thought he was covering it up," answered Dean. "You are not lying to me are you?"

"No," said Luke, trying to stay calm. "Where is he then?"

"Fuck if I know, man," Dean now sounded distressed. "I'll ask his friends, maybe they'll know where he is."

"No need to do that, I got people that should've kept an eye on him."

"Should have? Are you serious, dude? He is like your boyfriend and you don't even know where he is?" asked Dean, sounding angry now.

"Well, the last time I saw him we didn't part on friendly terms," snapped back Luke, already out of bed and getting his boots on. "Call Castiel and tell him to come home right now."

"What are you planning on doing?" asked Dean and there was a sound of closing of a door.

"I'm going to search for him. I have a feeling of where he might be," said Luke as he descended the stairs and walked into the living room, searching for Gabriel. He wasn't there.

"Can't you feel him?"

Luke hesitated for a minute, before answering, feeling guilty. "I haven't felt him for the last couple of days."

"What the hell dude?" said Dean, angrily. "And you didn't say anything till now, why?"

"Because I thought he was safe and with you," said Luke, feeling foolish for thinking so.

Dean sighed and then said, "Fuck, it doesn't matter now. Just keep me updated, yeah?"

"Yes," Luke said.

"Hey, and Luke?"

"Yes."

"Find him…," said Dean and then added reluctantly, "Please."

"I will do everything in my power to do so."

The line went dead after that. "Gabriel!" Luke yelled out and knew that his brother would hear him. A moment later, he was joined by him.

"What is it?" asked Gabriel.

"Sam's missing," said Luke, finally catching up with what was really happening.

Sam was missing.

And he didn't realize it until now. It was winter, and it was extremely cold for humans. No one knew where he was. He needed to text the people who were keeping an eye out on him. He needed his people to help him out. His hands started to shake as he tried to lift his phone up to text, but he was shaking so bad that he couldn't hold still.

Gabriel was talking to him, but he didn't really hear him. There was a ringing in his ears that was getting harder and harder to ignore. It was a feeling that was unknown to him. He closed his eyes and took deep steadying breaths. He needed to control himself. He needed to be in charge. He breathed calmly and then opened his eyes once more. Gabriel was looking at him in concern and worry.

"I'm fine," he mumbled. And then straightened. "I'm fine." He picked up his phone again and then texted to his people letting them know that he wasn't pleased with their services and they needed to find Sam as soon as possible. He closed his phone and looked at Gabriel. "I need your help."

"Anything," said Gabriel readily.

"You're better at tracking than I am, Gabe, I need you to help me find Sam."

"I will. Let's go then."

They both went out of the front door and into Luke's car because it was the fastest and they needed to move fast. Luke started the engine and drove it out of the driveway and hit the road.

"Okay, tell me what happened and what was the last feeling you both felt, when he left."

"Anger," replied Luke quickly. "It was… pure rage and anger. It was horrible," Luke slammed at the wheel angrily. "Damn it."

"Don't worry too much, Luke," Gabriel said soothingly. "We'll find him."

"I know," Luke sighed. "I'm just worried."

Gabriel moved a soothing hand over his shoulder and squeezed his arm. Luke stared ahead on the road. He still couldn't believe that Sam was missing and he was stupid enough to even think that he was with Dean at their house. Luke shook his head. He had been stupid.

His phone started to buzz several times and Gabriel quickly snatched it and read through the texts.

"Dean says that he can't get ahold of Castiel. He doesn't know where he is, but he can feel him. Kevin and Garth say they haven't heard from him for the last couple of days. And," said Gabriel, frowning. "Meg says that she has an idea where he might be because the last time she saw him, he was getting into Crowley's car."

"Fuck," said Luke under his breath. He already had an inkling feeling where this was going.

"And she says that's the only information she has."

Luke's hands tightened on the wheel and he resisted the urge to run the car into the closest wall. He was going to murder them all. "Tell her I'll talk to her later," said Luke.

"Turn left from here," said Gabriel casually. "If you feel anything at all, please tell me. He isn't mine and I can't track him down easily."

Luke nodded and drove faster. His phone rang and he reached out for it. Gabriel gave it to him quickly. "Yes?"

"Hey, it's Dean, any news?"

"We are on something here. We know where he might be, so we are heading there."

"Where to?"

Luke could hear the rumble of his car. "You find Castiel for me. Please."

"Where are you heading to, Luke?"

"I can't tell you now," said Luke, feeling guilty. It wasn't his place to tell Dean about this. As much as he was his brother, he wasn't sure he was allowed to say it. He was going to leave that to Sam. "I will talk to you as soon as I know more. Find Castiel. It's important if you will." He ended the call and then tossed his phone on the dashboard.

He followed Gabriel's instructions to where to go. The car ride was mostly silent, aside from Gabriel's soft 'left' or 'right' directions. Luke could feel that they were getting closer and closer to where Sam might be. "We're getting close," he said and his heart gave a painful thud.

"It's alright, brother," said Gabriel. "He is alright. We'll get him soon." Gabriel squeezed his arm again as they neared one of the biggest houses that the neighborhood had. Luke killed off the engine and stared up ahead. He could feel Sam stronger from where he sat and he was more than sure that they did find him. He took deep steadying breathes and then got out of the car, Gabriel following behind.

They walked towards the house, silently, and Luke could smell something foul. The whole house reeked with it. He scrunched up his nose a bit. This place was so wrong and didn't feel inviting at all. And he didn't know what was going to greet him once he stepped inside. He could hear multiple heartbeats coming from inside and he tried to pick up the one that he so wanted to hear, but he couldn't.

Gabriel stepped up behind him and softly pushed him forward. Luke reached up for the door handle and opened it. It was quiet, dark and extremely dirty. There were two boys sitting at the stairs and were staring down at their hands as if that was the most interesting thing in the world.

"They are so out of it," murmured Gabriel as Luke walked to them.

"Hey," he said, raising his voice slightly. One of the boys looked up at him and blinked. His eyes were red-rimmed and he looked lost. And he was underage. Luke shook his head and asked. "Where is Crowley?"

"Luke," started Gabriel, but Luke held out his hand.

"Where's Crowley?" he repeated.

The boy looked at him as if he was asking about the secrets of the universe and then he pointed his finger upstairs and Luke was off again. He took the stairs two at the time. The second floor was filled with more people and Luke frowned as he surveyed the scene. At the far end of the hallway there was a door that stood ajar. He made his way to it and opened it further. His lip curled up in distaste as he saw half-naked girls sprawled over a queen sized bed and Crowley was lying in the middle of it all. He marched to it and took Crowley by his collar and dragged him down the bed.

Crowley let out a groan of protest and he had a fraction of a second to open his eyes and then shut them because Luke's fist connected with his eye quick and fast. He groaned but couldn't utter anything. Luke's fist landed on his face again, and he grunted.

Luke was breathing hard. He was filled with so much rage that he couldn't stop it, couldn't keep it in control. He wanted to see Crowley suffering. He wanted him hurt. He wanted him dead.

So he did the only thing that he was capable of doing at that moment; he hit Crowley repeatedly. There were hands on his shoulders, which were trying to pull him away from it, but he was too far gone.

"Luke, stop it! You're gonna kill him," said Gabriel urging him to stop. "I've found Sam and I know where he is. Please, Luke. Stop this." There was a plea in Gabriel's voice. "Sam  _needs_  you!"

"Oh right," wheezed out Crowley, and Luke's hand faltered. "Listen to your brother, Luke. Be the weak one in this. Listen to your  _little_  brother!" he gasped out, a horrible laugh leaving his lips.

"I'm gonna end you," Luke hissed through greeted teeth, fist connecting with his jaw.

"Stop!" Gabriel grabbed his fist in his hand as he was about to swing again. "Stop it!" Luke was stronger than him, but he was managing to hold him off.

Luke looked at Gabriel, his face was raw, inhuman and lethal. Gabriel tried not to flinch at the look. "This fucker, is the reason why we are here. Right now. Why Sam has gone missing for weeks and it's been  _weeks_  since the last time I saw him and it's been  _weeks_  and we were stupid enough to not realize that he was here. He is the reason!" He was practically yelling at Gabriel's face. Gabriel managed to struggle Crowley out of Luke's grip and haul him away from him.

"Yes, I know that Luke. But right now, I need you to just  _stop_  okay? Let me take care of him and I need you to feel, okay? Feel," Luke made a strangled noise and shrugged Gabriel's hands off him and turned away from him. He took a deep steading breath and closed his eyes.

As the anger ebbed away, he could feel a dull emotion against his own and as he concentrated on it, he could tell that  _he_  was in some sort of agonizing pain that Luke wanted nothing more than to soothe as soon as he could.

He opened his eyes and started to walk with the pull of emotions, which would lead him to Sam. He quickly walked out of the room, and down the hallway, and down the stairs. He walked into what he presumed was a sitting room, and with a quick scan of the room, he realized that Sam wasn't there. But the emotions were stronger when he got here so he must not be far from him. His heart was thudding against his ribcage so fast and hard, that he thought it was going to burst out from him.

He walked into a dining room and there were people here, and it was packed. It was hard to see any faces, but at closer inspection he could see the familiar shape of Sam's long legs coming out from two, or maybe three, bodies. Luke took a step forward and his insides went cold with fear as he saw blood.

There was blood all over their bodies and Sam's was the worst. Luke took one long step to the bundle of bodies. He gently pried Sam away from them and lied him down on the ground. He looked like a mess. His hair was dirty, his face was bloody, and his clothes were beyond repair. Luke's hands hovered over his body helplessly. He looked down at his wrist and tried not to flinch back. It was horrible. It was too deep.

"Sam?" Luke whispered, brokenly. He didn't know what to do. His mind was blank. His voice broken. He was close to hyperventilation. "Sam?" he gently pushed Sam's hair out of his face. He was breathing, and his heart was stuttering, really slow. "It's me," he whispered again, "Open your eyes, please."

A broken cry left his lips as he felt Sam's eyelids fluttered and Luke's eyes were drown to his. "I knew you'd come," he whispered harshly. As if he forgot he could use his voice. As if he didn't speak at all the last couple of days.

"Of-of course I would," whispered back Luke, his voice breaking. "I'm getting you out of here, yeah? You just need to stay with me."

"I'm sorry," rasped out Sam. "I'm so sorry, I didn't meant to."

"I know," replied Luke. "Sshh, I know. Don't worry, yeah? Gabriel!" He yelled out for his brother.

"Lucifer…" Sam whispered, his eyes slipped close and he just… stopped.

Luke blinked down at him and his insides filled with dread. "Sam?" he asked. "Sam? Sammy? No, y-you can't. Sam. I-I need you to open your eyes for me, ok? C'mon, Sammy. Don't do this to me." Luke stroked his face lovingly. He could hear Sam's heartbeat slowing down and he needed to take care of him before it was too late. He lifted up Sam off the floor, bridal style, and walked out of the house. Sam was limp in his arms, and he was unconscious.

Gabriel was waiting for him beside the car and he cursed under his breath as he saw Sam's state. "Is he okay?"

"No," Luke gritted out.

Gabriel quickly opened the back seat door and helped Luke get Sam inside. Luke followed him in and laid Sam's head in his lap. Soon, Gabriel started the car and they were off with a screech. Gabriel was talking on the phone but Luke wasn't paying attention to him. He was busy assessing to Sam's injuries. He ran his hand over Sam's face again, his fingertips touching his skin.

He felt cold. He felt empty. But he was in pain. Ignoring all the warning bells going on his head he reached out and took Sam's hand in his. Sam didn't react to it at all. He didn't flinch, his breathing didn't pick up, and his heart rate didn't change. Luke didn't know what he was feeling at that moment, but he never wanted to feel that ever again.

Soon, they were in front of the hospital and there were paramedics running towards the car. He helped them put Sam on the stretcher. They were walking inside the hospital, and they were saying some things but Luke wasn't paying attention. He was still holding Sam's hand, palm to palm, and there was nothing at all.

No reaction.

There was a woman's voice saying something but he didn't quiet catch it at first. He shook himself out of his trance like state and looked at a young woman, who was looking at him like she was expecting this reaction. "Sir, I need you to let him go for me, okay? We need to assist to his injuries as soon as we can." Her voice was professional and warm at the same time.

He looked down at their hands and he nodded slowly. He gave one last squeeze and Sam was whisked away from him. He looked at the young doctor in front of him and said, "Save him."

"I'll do everything in my power to do so," and the way she said it made Luke believe her.

He took a shuddering breath and took a step back. Gabriel was there to catch him as his legs gave out. "Easy there," murmured Gabriel and moved him towards one of the benches of the hallway. He sat Luke down on it and kneeled before him. "Alright, there?"

Luke shrugged and rested his face in his hands. He sighed and tried not to get up and start pacing. He knew that he had to wait for humans to take care of his soul-mate. It was hard, really hard. But he had to wait. He had to be patient or it would break him.

He looked down at his hands and they were bloody. It was Sam's blood.

"It's Sam's," he croaked out. Gabriel looked down at his hands and said nothing. He didn't know what to say. "It-It's Sam's. I did this to him."

"Don't say that," Gabriel said quickly.

"I told him that his soul was dark. I told him that-that I didn't see any white there. I didn't mean that, Gabe. I really  _really_  didn't mean that," Luke said brokenly. Tears were streaming down his face, but he didn't feel it. "But he asked, and I couldn't lie to him. I couldn't. He needs to understand that I didn't mean it."

"Tell him, then," Gabriel's voice was gentle.

"I can't now. He…" he couldn't continue.

"I know you can't now. But you will be able to. You'll need to tell him. He needs to know."

"Did you see how bad he looked?" asked Luke, still staring down at his blooded hands. Gabriel only nodded.

"Luke?"

At the sound of a familiar voice Luke's head snapped up and he looked at a very familiar face, who was wearing scrubs. "Jack?"

"Yeah, hey!" Jack gave him a small smile and walked towards him. Luke stood up. "Everything okay?" He looked concerned as he took in Luke's state.

Luke shook his head and sighed, "No."

"Where's Sam? Is he okay?" asked Jack.

"He is at the emergency room," answered Gabriel. "I'm Gabriel, by the way. Luke's brother."

"It's nice to meet you, Gabriel. Jack," they shook hands. "What's happening?"

Gabriel told Jack on why they were here. Jack looked at Luke. "There's a bathroom down the hallway, you can go there and wash up."

Luke shook his head. "I'm not going anywhere until they tell me how Sam is."

"I will go and check on him, right now, if you'll go and wash up," said Jack, gently. "For Sam."

Luke looked at him for a minute and saw how pure he looked, how true, so he nodded and then slowly made his way down the hall. Gabriel was right beside him, saying nothing.

In the bathroom, Luke looked down at his hands as the water washed away some of the blood off his hands. It didn't hurt, it wouldn't hurt at all, so he washed the blood away, quickly and when he was done with his hands, he splashed some water over his face and suddenly he could breathe again. He did it several times. He gasped as he pulled back and leaned against the sink.

He felt exhausted. He wanted nothing more than to go and see Sam, but knew he couldn't. Besides, he needed to calm down long enough to be able to go and see him without breaking down.

Gabriel came to him and laid his hand over his own. There was a white light and then there weren't any gashes or anything on the back of his hands. "You got your powers back." It was a statement.

Gabriel nodded. "I got it back as soon as I found Kevin."

"Hmm…" Luke hummed, but didn't say anything else.

"Yours is probably back as well-"

"-no, it's not," Luke cut him off. "I tried to heal him, back in the car, but it didn't happen. I couldn't do it."

"You will be able to. Soon," and the way Gabriel said it Luke was sure that Gabriel was saying the truth. That he was going to heal Sam soon. That he was going to succeed in it. He just needed his little brother's help too.

And he was nowhere to be found.

Where was Castiel?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhm oops? ^^ sorry  
> it's tbc to the next chapter!  
> reviews are appreciated <3


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11/12:**

"Where have you been? We've been looking for you everywhere!" Gabriel hissed at Castiel.

Castiel licked his lips and looked down at his feet. "I was in Heaven."

Everyone froze in their places. Luke was leaning against the wall casually, but as Castiel said where he was he stood up straighter and took a step forward. "What?"

"I've been in Heaven," said Castiel, not quiet meeting anyone's stare. "I was transported there by Michael's… guards."

"Michael's in Heaven?" asked Charlie.

Castiel gave her a brief nod.

"What were you doing there? Why did he take you there?" asked Gabriel.

"To see Father."

There was a collectives of "What?" from his siblings.

"Why?"

"Michael didn't say anything at first, but then when I saw Father, he wanted to talk about you all."

"What did he ask?"

"He asked how you all were, as if he didn't know the answer to that already. And then he said that he is proud of us, of what we've become and he is proud of who our soul-mates are," Castiel said. Gabriel and Charlie relaxed a bit. Luke was still tense.

"What else?" urged Gabriel.

"That was all, really. He just said that he is proud of what progress we've made so far and that he'll probably give our full powers to us, sometime in the future."

"That's nice to know," said Charlie with a small smile. Her phone started to ring and she took it out of her pocket. She saw who was calling and her smile turned into a grin as she answered it and left the waiting room of the hospital.

"I gotta roll," said Gabriel, checking his watch. "I gotta take Kevin home after his some science… thing that he goes to." Castiel gave him a small smile and Gabriel left, saluting them both.

Castiel sighed and turned to look at Luke. He bit down on his lip and motioned for Luke to come to the couch. They sat there, side by side, neither of them speaking. Luke didn't know what to say, or ask. He thought something bad had happened to Castiel, but it turned out that he was at home. Their  _real_  home.

"He mentioned you quite a lot," said Castiel. They both knew what Luke wanted to know. Castiel always had that in him. He knew what others wanted and he'd give it to them. "At first he was surprised at how much you've changed."

"But he isn't proud of me," it was a statement.

"I'm sorry," said Castiel. And he genuinely sounded like it.

Luke shook his head and clasped Castiel on his shoulder. "Don't worry about it, little brother."

"He was surprised by your calmness concerning Sam. He said he didn't think you'd take it the way you did. Because we all know how you truly are," said Castiel, with a small smile, and then added. "Most of the time, anyways."

Luke gave him a small smile back. It was easy conversing with Castiel, because he never expected anything in return. He'd say what he had in mind, and be done with it. Luke appreciated him for that. His siblings were all different from one another. "I'm just glad you're okay. I thought something bad happened with you since we couldn't find you."

"I'm always alright," replied Castiel, softly. "You know me. I always stay out of trouble."

"Right," said Luke, looking at Castiel with a raised eyebrow.

"Shut up," he mumbled, elbowing him in the rib.

Luke chuckled, clapped Castiel on the back and stood up. "I better go and check up on Sam."

Castiel nodded, "Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna go and talk to Dean. He's being stubborn again."

"And I wonder why."

"You know, I preferred you when you wouldn't talk to any of us. Now you're all sarcastic and stuff," said Castiel, narrowing his eyes at him.

Luke simply gave him a smile and then left the waiting room. The hallways were partly deserted at this time of the evening. He turned the corner and saw Dean standing in front of the window from where he could see Sam. Luke ran a hand through his hair and slowly made his way to him. He stood beside him and looked at Sam in hospital bed. Both of his forearms were heavily bandaged, there were two IV's connected to him, one of them was medicine and the other one was pumping blood into his system, since he lost so much. He looked smaller somehow and ghostly white. His lips were chapped and he looked cold. And Luke wanted nothing more than to go inside and cover Sam's body with his own until his white lips turned the lovely shade of pink that he adored.

"Any news?" he asked Dean. Making a small conversation.

Dean briefly looked at him and then turned back at staring at his little brother. "Doc says he'll recover soon and he'll try to stay awake more."

"That's good," replied Luke, his voice small. It pained him, a lot, to see Sam like this. He could feel Sam through their bond, and it was mostly full of pain. And he did everything in his power to ignore those emotions.

"They're suggesting a rehab program. For him. But I don't think I ca-"

"I'll take care of it," Luke replied quickly. "Don't worry about it."

It amazed him how close he and Dean got over the last few days. It wasn't easy for Dean to be as open with people as he was with Luke, so him asking for help from Luke, was a huge leap that Dean was willing to make. But it was because of Sam. And both of them knew that they would place Sam's needs in front of theirs.

Dean nodded and looked at Luke, "You're good for him."

Luke turned to look at Dean, with a surprised expression on his face. Dean stared back and then shrugged.

"You better go and talk to my brother. He is agitated," Luke replied, instead of commenting on what Dean had said. Dean rolled his eyes, and grumbling under his breath, made his way to the waiting room.

Luke smiled after him and shook his head. Both of them were so different from one another, and yet, they'd found peace and love and something unique that was  _theirs_. Luke hoped that if he could help Sam now he'd have the same with him too. He sighed and walked inside the room. It was warmer inside, and he could clearly hear Sam's heart beating and breathing. They didn't sound normal, but it looked alright. Which was a relief.

Luke took a seat beside the bed and looked at Sam. He looked a lot worse up close, he could smell the blood and the medicine coming off from Sam's body. He couldn't even smell Sam under all of the smell. He bit down on his lower lip and took Sam's hand in his. There wasn't any kind of reaction from him. Luke pulled his had away, and clenched his teeth hard.

It was inevitable.

Things were going well. Things were going great. It hadn't been this well for a long time. For a time that Luke didn't even remember existed before he met Sam, before he knew that his soul-mate was born. Before he actually got the chance to meet him. It was beautiful.

Sam was beautiful.

He was broken. He was so broken that Luke was having a hard time believing that he would be able to fix him. But he wasn't going to give up on him. Sam was stubborn, yes, but he could be persuaded in ways that Luke knew he'd be able to do. Sam was willing, but he couldn't stop his stubbornness overruling his willingness.

Luke was going to help him. Luke couldn't simply turn a blind eye on him, when he was obviously in pain and needed Luke as much as Luke needed Sam. So he reached out and placed one hand over his forehead and the other on his hand, palms touching. Sam gasped out loudly, his heart beating going from slow-steady to staccato as Luke  _healed_  him.

At first, he didn't feel any changes, at all, but he could feel some energy thrumming through his hands. It was a barely there electrifying sensation, but he could feel that it was building up. He closed his eyes as his whole body felt alive. His palms started to glow with a small white light.

Since he hadn't used his powers in a long time, he felt he was getting exhausted really fast. With reluctance, he eased his hands away from Sam's body and saw Sam shudder and settle back down in bed. He was breathing hard, his heartbeat was still erratic, but Luke could see some changes. Where it was pale, he now had a rosy tinge to his cheeks. And his lips weren't pale blue anymore, but they got some color back into them. Luke sighed in relief and stood up. He ran his hand over Sam's face, the tips of his fingers caressing his lips softly. How he had missed kissing them, feeling the warmth of them against his, as they pushed and demanded for more. Luke licked his lips and leaned down and kissed Sam's forehead.

Sam hummed and turned his head to the side, as if chasing Luke's lips, but Luke kissed his forehead again, and turned to leave.

* * *

 

Few days later, Sam was awake and in a private room that Luke requested for him. Sam wasn't talking to anyone. Although, Luke caught him whispering short answers to his doctor whenever he asked him questions. He never talked to anyone, never asked anything of Luke or Dean. He was just there, breathing, and Luke thought that this was probably the most horrible thing he had ever seen. Aside from him bringing Sam to the hospital.

When Sam was fast asleep at night, he'd sneak into his room and would start healing him. It was taking a lot of energy from him, and he was exhausted after few minutes of concentrations, but he was willing to go through the pain.

Sam was someone whom Luke couldn't live without. Sam was someone that Luke admired. And Sam was someone that Luke was willing to sacrifice himself for.

Now, Sam was looking to his right, where the window was, it was lovely weather outside. It was a sunny day in the middle of February. Sam looked different. While he was built really well and tall, he somehow looked smaller in hospital's white gown. He wasn't pale anymore, he had small tinges of pink on his cheeks, and his lips weren't as chapped as they used to be. He looked healthier somehow. Though he did have dark bags under his eyes, and he did look tired, but overall, he looked alright.

Luke sat on the table by the far wall, while Sam refused to talk to him. Of course Luke never stopped trying. He'd always strike up a conversation, but Sam wouldn't tell him anything in return. Dean would come for a visit from time to time, but Sam still refused to talk to him. One time Dean had had enough and he walked out of the room telling Luke to call him when and if Sam started to behave like a normal human being, rather than the asshole that he was right now. Luke had only nodded at him, and then they were alone. Luke had tried to ask Sam what was wrong with him, why was he behaving like this, but he didn't get an answer to his questions. Which wasn't surprising.

Today, as Luke sat in his usual spot on the table, with a book in his lap, Sam said something that Luke didn't quite catch at first and didn't realize that it was Sam talking to him. He slowly looked up from his book and saw that Sam's hands were bunched up in the covers of his blanket and he looked tense.

"Did you say something?" asked Luke.

He watched as Sam took deep, steadying breathes, and instead of relaxing like he should, he saw his fingers tighten over the blanket. His voice was numb, devoid of emotions, as he said, "I think we should break up."

Luke felt his insides go cold. He gripped the book tightly in his hands as he started to tremble. His throat got tight, and his vision turned blurry. He closed his eyes, and took couple of steadying breaths. His voice was firm, and cold, as he said. "No."

"I want to break up with you," said Sam. "I'm not worthy of your time. I'm not… I'm not the right person for you. I'm not perfect. I've so many-"

"Stop. Right now. Please." Luke was having a hard time breathing. No one told him about this. No one gave him a warning that someday Sam, his  _soul mate_ , would tell him that he wanted to break up with him. Luke never imagined it happening to him. They were perfect, meant for each other, and Sam wanted to throw it away? Not a chance. Luke wouldn't allow it. "I won't allow it."

"I don't want to be with you, Luke," said Sam, his voice monotone. Luke could feel his anxiety and distress gnawing from the inside. He could feel that Sam was ready to burst, but he was being strong. He was hiding his feelings from Luke, but Sam didn't realize, or was subtly ignoring, the fact that they were connected, one way or another. And him wanting to "break up" with him, wasn't going to help them. At all.

"You don't mean that. I know you don't," replied Luke.

"I'm broken. I'm not good for you. If you want to have a great life you won't have that with me," said Sam, and there was something to his tone of voice that made Luke's aching heart warm up a bit, because he knew that Sam didn't really want to break up with him.

Luke stared at Sam for a moment and then he slid down from where he was sitting and walked towards Sam's bed. He sat down at the edge of the bed and took one of Sam's fists in his hand. Sam tried to pull it back but Luke held on tight. "I'm going to say this once, and I really hope you'll remember this once and for all. Because I don't feel like repeating myself in the future." Sam turned his head and looked at Luke. His eyes were welled up with unshed tears, his forehead was creased and Luke wanted nothing more than to reach out and caress it so it'd smooth out. But he refrained. He wasn't going to do it now. "I don't see myself without you. I don't see a future without you. I don't see a Luke without his Sam. I don't see Sam without his Luke. Whether you like it, or not, we are stuck together. I won't be able to let you go, nor would you be able to let go of me. I won't allow it. Our  _bond_  won't allow it. You're mine, and I'm yours."

"But I don't want to hurt you," Sam whispered, a tear slipping off from the corner of his eye.

"You won't," Luke whispered back. "I don't think you'll ever hurt me. Ever."

"I don't believe in that."

"Do you believe in me?" asked Luke. He wanted Sam to see the point here. That he wasn't unfixable, he was a human being with imperfections that Luke was willing to ignore.

"I do," murmured Sam.

"Good, because that's all I need of you to get me through this," said Luke. He lifted Sam's closed fist and kissed his knuckles softly.

"I don't feel any pain," Sam said, staring at their hands.

"It's because I'm taking your pain away," said Luke. "I've been doing that since you've been hospitalized."

"You were?" Sam looked up at Luke in surprise, then lowered his eyes again.

Luke's heart clenched at that, but he ignored it. "Yeah. While you were sleeping. It was easier to do that while you were unconscious. Castiel would help me sometimes. It's exhausting because I don't have my full angel powers."

"I- you didn't have to do that," Sam said in a soft voice.

"I know, but I did. So…"

"So you mean to say that I can hold your hand?"

"Let's try?" Luke kissed Sam's knuckle again.

Sam, hesitated at first, not sure if he was ready to feel any pain. But he trusted Luke. So slowly he let his fingers loose and now he was holding Luke's hand palm to palm. At first nothing happened, it felt cold, but then it got warmer. Sam swallowed and held Luke's hand tighter, and Luke held his back equally as tight.

"It… I don't feel pain, but it's… there's something going on. Something pleasant," remarked Sam, his voice full of wonder and awe.

Luke gave him a small smile and said, "I wasn't sure if it'd work, but Castiel was sure that it would. I just had to take away your pain, slowly, so I'd be able to hold your hand freely." He licked his lips and added, "And also, I will be able to… get rid of your scars. It'll take some time, but I think I will be able to."

The look that Sam gave him at that, made Luke's heart swell up in pride. "That's really great, Luke. Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me," Luke was quick to reply. "I'm just glad that you're willing to help yourself just as much as I want to help you."

"I know. I want to get better. For Dean. For me. For you. Mostly for you." Luke squeezed his hand in return. "I'm willing to go through the treatments, and I'm willing to stay at the rehabilitation center as long as they'll have me. As long as I'll get better. I want to get better."

"I know you do," Luke whispered. He leaned close and caressed Sam's cheek, thumb grazing over his lower lip. Sam let out a shuddering breath and leaned into the touch.

"I missed you," he whispered, and Luke smiled small.

"Me too," he whispered back.

"What were you writing, the other day?" asked Sam suddenly, as if he just remembered. Luke's hand was on his cheek, and Sam turned his head and kissed his palm. His eyes were warm as they stared back at Luke.

"Oh, that," Luke looked down, and then up again. "It was nothing. I was just entertaining myself."

"With what?"

"Poetry."

"You can write a poem?" Sam asked, sounding surprised. He kept kissing his palm, and his lips against Luke's palm were extremely distracting.

"Yeah," he breathed.

"Will you read it for me? Please?"

Luke couldn't say no to that.

He squeezed Sam's hand and left the bed to go over the table to take his small blue notepad, and walked back to bed. He sat down at the edge again, way closer to Sam now, and he opened it. Riffling through the pages he found what he was searching for and cleared his throat.

" _I've traveled through time_

_I've traveled through life_

_I've traveled through death_

_I've traveled through heaven and hell_

 

_I've never seen anyone like you_

_I've never met anyone worthy like you_

_I've never thought I'd meet someone like you_

_I've seen many souls_

_But I've never seen one as beautiful_

_As yours_

 

_You're broken_

_But so am I_

_I'm not giving up on you_

_I hope you won't give up on us_

_I'm willing to patch you up_

_If you'll allow me to_

_I'm willing to protect you_

_From yourself_

_And the demons that rest in you_

_If you'll allow me to."_

They were silent for quite some time. Luke refused to look at Sam, and Sam was staring at him with his mouth hanging open. "I-" Sam said, but stopped. He didn't know what to say. In one sentence, what Luke did right now, was summarize on what he had planned for Sam and him. Luke wanted him. Even if he was broken beyond repair, Luke wanted him. "You want me." Sam whispered finally. Words failing him to make more sense. Sam was speechless. So the only thing that he could do right now, without words necessary, he leaned up and took Luke's lips with his.

This kiss was different from the ones that they'd shared so many times. This was one full of promises, full of trust, full of love. Sam's words failed him, so he tried to convey whatever he had to say to Luke by kissing him.

Their lips molded together as if they were shaped just right for one another. Sam cupped Luke's face in his hands and kissed and kissed and kissed, until he couldn't breathe anymore. And Luke let him. Understanding that he needed it. Sam pulled Luke closer, unsatisfied, wanting more and more. He moaned at the back of his throat. Luke returned his kissing with enthusiasm. Not holding back, but being gentle about it. And that's what Sam needed right now.

Sam pulled back, resting his forehead against Luke's, their breathing mingling together as they tried to get it back to normal. Sam gave Luke a small chaste kiss, hands caressing Luke's cheeks softly.

He felt emotions welling up in him, choking him. Luke sensing that, he always sensed these stuff, pulled Sam in for a tight hug. And let him shudder and wet his shirt as he sobbed quietly against his shoulder.

* * *

 

"Ready?" Luke asked Sam as he parked in front of the rehabilitation center. Sam nervously looked out of the window and saw Dean and Castiel get out of the Impala. He wanted to come to the hospital with Luke, because it'd calm him down considerably, and because he wanted to spend as much time with Luke as he could before he had to be on hold for however much time they'd decide to keep him there.

"I'm not sure," he whispered at last, staring down at his hands in his lap. "What if it won't work?"

"Sam, babe, you being here means already that you're willing to try," said Luke gently. "I believe in you. I'll be here for you, no matter what. Yeah?"

Sam frowned and nodded. Then his lips tugged up into a smile, "'Babe'? When did you start with the pet names?"

Luke smiled and shrugged, "It just came to me. Shut up."

Sam grinned at him but didn't say anything, instead, he leaned in and kissed Luke softly on the lips. Savoring it. He didn't know when would be the next time he'd be able to kiss him, so he made it good. He deepened the kiss by twirling his tongue with Luke's, and Luke was responsive to him. Their lips tangled, bodies arched to each other, hands all over their bodies, Sam didn't want to leave. He was warm and content here, in Luke's possessive embrace and demanding, open mouthed kisses. Sam never thought he'd be a fan of this kind of kissing, but now he was addicted to it and he didn't know if he'd ever get tired of it.

He knew that he was committed to them, to this, and the thought didn't scare him. He didn't know that he was a settling down kind of a guy, but with Luke it was different. With Luke he could see a future for him, for them. He pulled back and gazed at Luke.

Luke's cheeks were flushed, his lips red and wet with their kiss. His hair was sticking up more now since Sam ran his fingers through it, more than once. He looked beautiful. And Sam loved him.

The realization wasn't as surprising or shocking, as he anticipated it to be. It was just there, and he could feel it there. If he had concentrated enough, he'd know that it had been there for quite some time now. But it was nice to confirm it with himself. To finalize it.

"I'll come back to you as soon as I'm good again. I promise you."

"I know you will," Luke whispered, his voice was rough and his eyes were shining, but Sam knew that he wouldn't cry. Luke couldn't cry. And it was a lot sadder than Sam was comfortable with.

"Hey, don't be sad," Sam whispered and he cupped Luke's face in his big hands. He brought him closer, and nuzzled their noses together.

"I'm not. I'm just…" Luke kissed the corner of Sam's mouth, his voice breaking as he said, "I'm just proud of you, ok? Remember that. I believe in you. I know you can pull through this, and it'll be a tough ride, but I know that you'll pull through it in no time."

"And you'll wait for me."

"And I will wait for you."

Sam smiled again and leaned in to kiss him again, this time it was soft. Not desperate, not chasing after each other, just a small chaste kiss. Sam pulled back again, kissed Luke's cheek and then he was unbuckling his seatbelt and was getting out of the car. Luke following behind. He quickly caught up with him and laced their fingers together, firmly.

Dean and Castiel met them at the front door, Sam's bag beside his feet on the ground. Castiel gave him a small smile and held out his arms as Sam hugged him tight. "Take care of him for me, okay?" he whispered to him.

Castiel nodded. "I will."

Sam patted him on the back and pulled back. He turned and looked at Dean, who was staring at anywhere but him. "C'mon, let's hug it out."

Dean hesitated at first but then he took a step forward and hugged Sam tightly. Sam sighed at the familiarity of the hug. He remembered how many times he had hugged his older brother for comfort, or when he used to be afraid of lightning and thunderstorms and Dean would always be there to soothe him back to sleep. Or the first time he slipped on the ice and twisted his ankle and Dean was there to take care of him, hugging him when he'd start crying because it hurt too much.

And of course there were times when Sam was the one to provide Dean comforting hugs. That time where Dean had scratched his car when they were running away from cops for not parking right. It had been a hard day for Dean, he loved the impala just as much as he loved Sam. Or the time after his first match of football his team had lost and he was crying quietly in his bedroom and Sam had gone inside to hug him. And Dean let him.

He was a head shorter than Sam now. But he still gave the best brotherly hugs that Sam knew only Dean was able to provide and give to him. It felt safe. It felt home.

"I promise that I'll get better, and it'll be so soon that you won't even know that I've been gone, yeah?" reassured Sam to his brother, who nodded against his shoulder.

"I know, I love you, bro."

"I love you too, Dean."

They hugged for a bit more and then they released each other reluctantly and made their way inside the hospital. Sam holding Luke's hand for reassurance and as his anchor, because he desperately needed one. Luke squeezed his fingers and then handed their papers to the lovely lady at the front desk. She grabbed them with a small smile and started to file Sam in.

After several minutes later, when he was done with answering small questions here and there, and after he was registered, Sam was asked to leave any sharp objects there, and he did. He did it easily, without a fuss, or screaming.

He did it because he had to do it.

He did it because it was for the best.

He did it because he wanted to get better.

For him. For Dean. For Lucifer.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> only one more chapter left!  
> reviews are appreciated :)


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12/12:**

"You're too tense."

"I'm not."

"You are," said Luke gently and covered Sam's hand with his. "Take a deep breath." Sam did. "Now relax and play the first half of the first line." Sam nodded and then positioned his right hand over the piano keyboard. He hit the notes gently, going slow, and Luke was nodding in approval. "Good job," said Luke. "Now try playing that while adding the notes for your left hand." Sam positioned his left hand over the keyboard and started to play the piece that Luke was teaching him.

It had been almost a year since Sam left the hospital, for good. He was clear and clean. The day he had called Luke with the news was a day that Luke didn't think he'd be able to forget. Ever. Sam was home. Sam was with him. He was sitting right beside him and Luke was teaching Sam on how to play the piano. On Sam's orders.

One day when Sam came over he had asked Luke if he had any talents that he didn't know. Luke said that he knew how to play the piano, a bit, and then Sam had asked him to play something for him, and here they were. Sam wanting to know how to play it.

It was a good distraction from the topics that both of them were subtly ignoring. Neither of them wanted to open that can of worms. Neither of them wanted to remember the past and Sam's mistakes. It'd haunt them for years, sure, but right now, wasn't the time to think of those things.

Luke glanced up from Sam's stiff fingers and looked at his profile. He was tense with concentration, reading through the notes and trying to play them right. He looked healthy. His hair was a bit longer than before, but it suited him. His face was clean shaven. He was allowed to use sharp objects now, but with supervision. He shaved himself this morning, while Dean sat beside him. And that was the first thing that he proudly said to Luke as he came over. Luke had smiled and hugged him tight.

Sam frowned as he confused his fingers over the keys and then let out a sigh of frustration. Luke smiled softly and leaned in and kissed his cheek. Sam's fingers slipped on the key and he turned his head sharply and looked at him. "What was that for?"

Luke shrugged and said, "You look adorable."

Sam glared at him, "You're mocking me, aren't you?"

"No, no," said Luke, chuckling. He leaned in and gave Sam a quick kiss and pulled back, smiling in amusement as he saw that Sam's eyes were closed and he was leaning in again. "I was not mocking you. You just looked adorable, with your concentrating face and all."

Sam opened his eyes and narrowed his eyes at him, "Right."

Luke chuckled again and moved Sam's hair out of his eyes with the tips of his fingers. He leaned in and kissed Sam's temple. Sam smiled softly and tilted his head to the side, finding Luke's lips, molding it with his for a soft chaste kiss. Kissing Luke was as easy as breathing. He was familiar with its shape and he was familiar with how Luke kissed. He'd make sure to give everything he had in him into the kiss and it'd always make Sam's toes curl in passion.

There was a soft knock on the door, and with reluctance, Luke broke the kiss. "Come in."

Charlie peeked in and smiled at them, "If you're hungry, the dinner's ready."

"Thank you, we'll be there soon," Luke replied. Sam smiled at her as she left.

"She's changed," said Sam as soon as the door was closed.

"Yeah, Meg is good for her," said Luke, looking at Sam.

Charlie claimed Meg, one of Sam's friends, last year before Sam was hospitalized. Meg was pleasantly surprised by it and completely smitten. Just like everyone was with the Novaks.

Sam took Luke's hand in his and brought it up to his lips. He kissed the knuckles softly and stared into Luke's eyes. He could feel the warmth and something radiating through his eyes, which made Sam's insides all warm and cuddly. He leaned in and kissed Luke softly and then stood up. Luke followed him as they made their way to the kitchen where everyone was. Dean and Castiel were deciding on the wine. Kevin was leaning against the counter as Gabriel stirred something on the stove, which smelled mouthwatering. Meg and Charlie were preparing the table.

Luke squeezed Sam's hand and then walked to Gabriel assessing his work on dinner. Sam stood in the middle of the kitchen and looked at them all. This was his family now. These people that were playfully bickering with each other, making dinner, laughing and talking. He felt warm and choked up at the same time.

These people cared about him and loved him. He was positive that one of them loved him to death.

He walked towards Luke and took his hand in his again. It didn't hurt that bad anymore. Sam was getting better. And Luke was there to help him with it.

* * *

Later that night when everyone went to bed, satisfied with dinner, Sam and Luke were up in Luke's bedroom. Luke was lounging in his bed, reading a book, while Sam was playing Luke's piano. His fingers were still tense, unfamiliar with the notes he was playing but he was getting better. And Luke was really patient and gentle at the way he was teaching him.

He glanced up from where he had been staring at his fingers and felt the same old feeling that he always felt whenever he looked at Luke. He looked beautiful. The moon light was cascading through the windows, giving a gentle glow to the room. It wasn't enough light for Luke to read his book so he opted to use the night-table light. His hair looked ruffled and was standing at all odd ends. He was breathing softly, his chest moving up and down by the rhythm. He was half-sitting, half-laying down on the bed. Sam knew at the instant that he was ready to be with him. To be fully with him. No boundaries or restraints between them. They'd been tiptoeing around each other for some time now, and the tension between them was getting out of hand.

Sam didn't know how long he'd been staring at him, but he couldn't look away either. The realization of what he wanted had him rooted at his place.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer," said Luke, his voice low and deep.

Sam blinked, "I wasn't staring."

"Liar," Luke replied, his voice teasing. "Done playing for the day?"

"I think so. I'll work on it tomorrow as well, if it's okay with you," Sam said, twisting his fingers in his lap, trying not to sound too nervous, or hopeful.

Luke looked away from his book and at Sam. Maybe he saw something on Sam's face, because the next thing he knew, Luke was closing his book and standing up from his bed. He slowly made his way to Sam, the tips of his fingers, caressing the surface of the piano. He walked and stood behind Sam. He placed his hands on the piano board, trapping Sam between his arms, and leaned forward. He nosed the back of Sam's neck and Sam, with a sigh, dropped his head forward, closing his eyes.

"Is there anything in your mind that you'd like to share with me?" Luke whispered, his breath ghosting over Sam's already flushed neck. He tilted his head to the side and Luke mouthed his exposed neck. Lips barely touching his skin.

Sam turned his head and was, once again, struck by how beautiful and handsome Luke looked. He didn't think that he'd ever get tired of saying that to anyone. And Luke was close to his face, they were barely inches apart. Sam licked his lips and saw that Luke's eyes were zeroed down on his lips. The action made Sam shudder. "I think you already know what I want."

The words barely left his lips and Luke was kissing him. Hot and passionate. Sam made a small sound at the back of his throat and lifted his hand to thread his fingers through Luke's hair. Luke growled and nipped at his lower lip. He turned Sam around on the chair and tipped his head back, deepening the kiss. His hands were hot on Sam's cheeks and neck. Sam let his hands wander around Luke's back, and then gripped the back of his thighs, pulling him closer.

Luke moaned into his mouth, tongue tangled with Sam's in a passionate dance. If Sam thought that Luke didn't hold back when they kissed, this was something that he couldn't describe with words.

Luke lips felt warm against his, demanding and powerful. But it was gentle and soft at the same time. It was a beautiful mix that Sam craved and thought he'd never get satisfied. His grip tightened on Luke's thighs and he brought him closer, legs parting to make a space for him in between them. He was getting hot and flushed by the time Luke's lips left his mouth and dragged down Sam's jawline, leaving a hot trail of open mouthed kissing. He pulled at Sam's earlobe and a choked cry left Sam's lips. His lips bucking up involuntarily into air.

"You're so hot," Luke whispered, his hands going under Sam's shirt from his neck, the other joining in from under. "So  _hot_."

Sam didn't know how to respond. The only thing he could do was enjoy the pleasurable feelings that were being provided to him by Luke. Only Luke.

He wanted to get closer to him. There were too many clothes in the way and his shirt was in the way for Luke. So he pushed at Luke a bit, stood up, and grabbed the hem of his shirt, tossing it over his head and to the side. Luke's lips parted, a broken moan leaving his lips, as he gazed at Sam's naked chest. Sam was built, and he was never uncomfortable when he'd get naked, but under Luke's gaze, he felt exposed in ways that he never thought he'd ever be.

Luke hands were back over his chest before he even had time to breathe. Sam let out a loud gasp as Luke leaned forward and licked his chest starting from his torso up to the hollow of his neck, stopping only two times to lick and suck on his nipples, which were erect from arousal and the cool air that Luke's bedroom always provided. It felt nice on his flushed skin.

"Remove," Sam grunted as he felt Luke's shirt's fabric grazing against his skin. He helped Luke to get it off from him and didn't waste any time ogling at Luke's thick muscles, and the V of his hips that looked extremely lickable. Instead, he wrapped his arms around Luke's waist and pulled him flush against his chest, moaning at the contact. Their belt buckles clanged against each other, and Sam could feel Luke's arousal against his. Come to think of it, he could feel Luke's  _restrained_  arousal in him. It was raw and was clawing to get out. Sam bit down on his lower lip, hard, and whispered hotly. "Why are you holding back?" His voice was deeper and he shuddered as Luke's hands wandered down his body and gripped his ass, squeezing them, and pulling them closer.

"If I don't stop myself now, I'll destroy you, Sam," his voice was so deep that Sam gave a full body shudder, hips bucking against Luke's.

" _Good_ ," he said. "I want to be destroyed. Don't hold back."

The only warning he got from Luke was the hardening of his muscles as he lifted Sam up. Sam was quick to wrap his legs around Luke's waist. Luke's hands were under his ass and Sam ground down, because it was too much. Luke walked them to his bed and Sam whispered. "Putting your angel powers to good use, huh?" his voice broke through the sentence and he moaned as Luke squeezed him again.

He was then dumped on the bed with a warm and solid weight on top of him, pushing him deep into the mattress. Their kissing was brutal this time, neither was holding back as they kissed, bruising and biting. Teeth clanged, tongues swiped, lips sucking. It was hot. It was raw. It was needy.

Sam bucked his hips up again and Luke met him thrust for thrust. Sam threw his head back crying out. The steady friction of his jeans a pleasant numbing sensation to his hardness. Luke's hands traveled down his body, fingers wrapped around Sam's belt and stalled. Sam looked up at Luke, who was staring down at him with so much need that Sam couldn't stop the moan escaping his lips.

"I need to touch you," Luke growled and Sam shuddered again, eyes closing and then opening. "But… I need to know that you're okay with this first."

Sam's hands were rubbing Luke's back restlessly, pushing and pulling him closer. "Yes, yes," he nodded frantically. "I'm okay with this. I want you. I need you, Lucifer. Please."

The name left his lips so easily that he didn't blink at it at all. It was just a name, and nothing else. He didn't think about it at all. It just slipped out and the reaction that he got from the owner of the name was enough for Sam to arch his back in pleasure.

Lucifer gave him one of those kisses where he literally didn't hold back. At all. And which left Sam gasping for breath. Lucifer's fingers made quick work on his belt and his jean's button and zipper. Sam did the same with Luke's. They both wiggled a bit to get their jeans off as fast as they could and quickly they pulled each other in.

They both shuddered as they felt their nakedness against each other. Sam's body was flushed and hot, while Lucifer's hands and lips were warm, his whole body was cold. It was a pleasant combination that Sam really liked.

Lucifer's hands made their way back down his body and around his knees. He grabbed them and made Sam wrap them around his waist. The position made Sam's hips to arch up a bit and his legs to open up wider, making enough space for Lucifer's body to position in between his legs. Sam tugged at Lucifer's hair, pulling him closer, and kissing his lips again. Their hips thrusting against one another, their cocks lined up against each other, creating a pleasant sensation for them both. But Sam wanted more. He tightened his legs around Lucifer and ground his hips up forcefully against Lucifer's.

Lucifer hissed at that and pulled back a bit to look down at Sam. He swallowed hard as he got a better look at Sam. He was a beautiful mess. His skin was flushed with raw arousal, his whole body was covered in sweat and his hair looked wild. Luke assumed it was because of his hands. He leaned in and kissed Sam's lips gently and pulled back again, leaning his forehead against Sam's. "I need to know that you're really okay with this."

"I am," Sam was quick to answer. He shifted his hips up to prove Lucifer that yes, he was on board on whatever, as long as Lucifer wouldn't stop touching him.

"You do know that if we do this, then there's no turning back," Lucifer said, his lips ghosting over Sam's face.

Sam's fingers tightened over his back, blunt nails biting on Lucifer's back. "Yeah," Sam nodded, "Yeah I know. I don't care. I want… I want you to. I don't want to turn back. I'm good."

Lucifer looked down at Sam and saw the sincerity and truth in his eyes, shining bright and clear right back at him. Lucifer leaned in and kissed him again, it was soft, measured, and pleasant. Sam sighed into the kiss and let his hands to rub at Lucifer's back.

Lucifer pulled back again and shifted again to get closer to the nightstand. His body stretched, his muscles working as he rummaged through his drawer, searching for something. Sam not wanting to waste time on eyeing Lucifer, opted with licking at his side, making Lucifer shudder and crumble down against him.

"Damn it, Sam," he heard Lucifer whisper. And then he was back on top of him and he was kissing him so hard that Sam clutched at Lucifer, trying to follow his lead. Lucifer pulled back again and kneeled in between Sam's legs. Sam's legs were bent at the knees and were planted on either side of him. Lucifer licked his lips as he stared at Sam's impressive aroused cock, lying on his navel, the tip glistening with pre-cum, and Lucifer wanted nothing more than to taste him. But that should wait. Instead he opened the bottle of lube and poured a healthy amount on his fingers. Sam swallowed and pushed his legs open and thrust his hips up, giving Lucifer a perfect access to his hole.

Lucifer swallowed hard and let his fingers rub at the tight nub of Sam's entrance. He was tight, and it made Lucifer's arousal skyrocket. Sam was tiny bit tense, but Lucifer could feel that he was trying to stay calm and relaxed. Lucifer leaned in and kissed the side of Sam's thigh and slowly, let his finger enter Sam. Sam shuddered and moaned at the sensation, his eyes closing in pleasure.

"You're so tight," Lucifer moaned as he started to move his finger in and out of Sam. Encouraged by the sounds that were leaving Sam's lips, he added the second finger in and then the third one when Sam cried out and his hips buckled up. Lucifer held him down with his other hand as his finger worked, fast, trying to make Sam loose. Sam was sweating by the time he was ready and his hand was around his cock pulling and tugging at it, trying to find release. Lucifer slapped his hand away and growled out a firm "no".

Sam opened his eyes angrily and hissed, his cheeks flushed with arousal, "Don't fucking stop me. I can't take it anymore."

"You  _will_  be released soon, but not by you. What am I here for?" Lucifer replied back calmly, his fingers slipping out of Sam. Sam cried out in protest or in pleasure, Lucifer couldn't tell anymore. But he eagerly spread his legs wider as he saw that Lucifer was lubing himself up.

"Fuck, yes. Get it in," moaned Sam, his head thrown back as Lucifer lined himself up against his entrance. He let out a cry as Lucifer entered him.

Lucifer's eyes stuttered close and he had to grip Sam's thigh tightly before he'd cum from the sheer pleasure of Sam. He was tight and hot, and perfectly made for Lucifer. He willed himself to go slow, he really did, but the way Sam was moaning and crying, and the way he was moving his hips against Lucifer, begging him to go  _faster and harder_  he couldn't really say no to that. His thighs were burning from this position, but he couldn't stop himself long enough to move himself into a more comfortable position. It felt too good to stop. His hips snapped against the back of Sam's thighs, making the room fill with the slap on slap of their skins connecting. Their breathing was heavy. They were covered in sweat. And Lucifer never wanted to stop. He grabbed Sam's thighs and pulled him as close as he could, his hips moving a lot faster as Sam cried out in pleasure, one hand gripping his pillow, making the veins in his hands stand up, and the other was resting against Lucifer's forearm. His mouth was open in pleasure, his hair was plastered against his sweaty face, his eyes were closed, and Luke had never seen anything so perfect.

He could feel it building up in him. He could feel the pain on his back. At first he ignored it. But he couldn't ignore it long, because the next thing he knew he was bent over Sam's body, crying out as it shifted in his back.

Sam blinked his eyes open and looked up at Lucifer. His eyes going from lust filled to concerned in a second. "Lucifer? What is it?"

"Wings," he rasped out. His head bowed down, resting against Sam's sweaty chest, his hips still moving uncontrollably.

Sam stared at him in shock, not knowing what to do. "What can I do?"

Lucifer shook his head, crying out as another pain shot through his back. "Just-just don't stop moving. It'll pass. It'll pass." He cried out again, and tried to steady his breathing.

Sam nodded and ran his hand through Lucifer's wet hair. He started to move his hips, trying to follow Lucifer's frantic movements. He moaned as Lucifer licked at his chest, lips kissing and sucking their way to his nipple. His tongue was burning hot against Sam's skin, but his body was getting colder.

"Lucifer," Sam whispered, he didn't know why he was saying his name over and over again, but he couldn't stop himself. The pleasure was building up really fast. Sam was scrambling up to keep up with it, so he wrapped his hand around his cock and started to tug at it fast, matching it to Lucifer's frantic moves of his hips. "I wanna see you," Sam whispered brokenly, he was getting close.  _They_  were getting close. Lucifer bit down on his nipple and Sam hissed, arching his back. "I wanna see your face when I come.  _Please_."

Lucifer licked his way to Sam's lips, leaving a hot trail of electrified pleasure at its wake. Sam moaned as Lucifer's tongue demanded an entrance into Sam's mouth. He was kissed quick and hard. Sam's clenched his teeth tight, holding in, waiting to look at Lucifer's eyes, just before he'd crumble into pieces of pleasure.

And when Lucifer pulled back and looked at him, Sam knew that he was totally gone and he was never going to turn back. Where Lucifer's usually light green eyes were, it was lit with red light that Sam found fascinating. And at that moment, his cum was ripped out of him in white hot spurts all over his chest. He was mumbling incoherently, he was saying things that he didn't make out, but he was sure that he was saying something along the lines of  _"Lucifer"_ 's, and  _"I love you"_ 's, and  _"You're so perfect"_ 's.

The room was filling in with faint glow of light that was coming from Lucifer's back. Sam knew what was happening but it still amazed him. Lucifer's mouth opened up in silent cry as two things erupted from his back, glowing white and almost blinding, but Sam couldn't look away.

Where there should've been two big wings filled with soft feathers, there were only two bones that were in the same shape as any other wings should've been. And they had some ruffled feathers here and there.

A broken sob left Lucifer's lips. That snapped Sam into the present and he felt himself being filled with Lucifer's cum. Lucifer's hands were holding his hips in a bruising grip, but Sam didn't say anything, because it was great. It felt great. He felt great.

The light dimmed down and Lucifer practically plopped down on top of him. Sam quickly hugged him tightly against him. Both of them ignoring Sam's cum between them. Sam's eyes roamed at the wings and saw as they shriveled and fell down.

Sam hugged Lucifer closer, as he shuddered violently against him. And if he felt Lucifer's uneven breathing against his neck, he didn't say anything. He just held him tighter.

* * *

Sam woke up slowly. It was warm in the bed, and Sam snuggled in closer to the pillow. He could feel the sun over his face, warm and pleasant, but he didn't want to open his eyes yet. He felt too good just lying there, with his eyes closed and the bed warm. His body was sore from the night's activity and he smiled pleasantly. He reached out his hand to the other side of the bed, but it was empty and felt cold. He opened his eyes slowly, squinted, as the sun glared into his eyes, and looked around the bedroom.

He spotted him right away.

Lucifer was standing in front of his window, naked. The sun was making his white skin glow. Sam stared at the firm and thick muscles of his legs. His back muscles were tense and unmoving. It took Sam a moment, but then he could see them.

Lucifer wings were standing limply down from his back. Now that Sam wasn't in throes of passion, he could see that they were broken, only held together by some angelic power. It could've been beautiful, had it not been in this state. Sam realized that it didn't change anything about the way he felt towards Lucifer.

Sam sighed and got up from bed. He padded towards where Lucifer was standing and carefully wrapped his arms around Lucifer from behind. Tugging him against his chest, he let his head dip down and kiss Lucifer's shoulder gently, his lips moving up to his neck, nose nuzzling the back of Lucifer's ear. He felt Lucifer relax against him. Lucifer grabbed his arms and pulled him tighter against him.

"Can you see them?" his voice was low. Sam didn't react to how Lucifer's voice cracked. He was embarrassed, Sam could feel that through their bond.

"I do," Sam whispered, his lips caressing Lucifer's ear. He kissed Lucifer's neck and then rested his chin on his shoulder, cheek against Lucifer's cheek. They both gazed out the window, their naked bodies warm against each other. Lucifer's was cool against Sam's warmth.

"Aren't you…disgusted by them?" his voice was filled with insecurity. Sam squeezed him tighter.

"I'm not," Sam said slowly. "Because you still look beautiful to me."

"I do?" asked Lucifer.

Sam nodded and turned his head to kiss Lucifer's cheeks, watching as he closed his eyes and hummed. "You always looked beautiful to me, and always will," Sam said, his voice fierce with reassurance. Sam took a deep breath and made Lucifer to turn and look at him. His eyes were back to their normal light green color. Sam smiled as he saw it. He leaned in, tilted Lucifer's head up by his chin and kissed his lips slowly and gently. He pulled back and rested his forehead against Lucifer's and then whispered. "It took me awhile to realize this, but I'm in love with you, Lucifer Novak."

Lucifer's breath stuttered and he wrapped his arms around Sam's waist. He pulled them close and kissed Sam breathless. His lips demanding but gentle. He pulled back and looked at Sam. Sam smiled at him.

"I don't know what I did right in my whole existence," said Lucifer, "But I'm so glad that you were chosen to be my soul mate." Sam smiled so big his cheeks were starting to burn from it.

"You are?"

"Of course I am," said Lucifer, his voice fierce and his grip tightening on him. "I love you."

Sam pulled him close by his neck and started to kiss him again.

It didn't matter that Lucifer was the fallen angel, or that his wings were broken and probably would never get back to their normal state. What mattered, for them, was the now and this moment. Where they both blindly stumbled their way back to the bed. Where they kissed and licked and sucked on each other's skins. Where they touched and explored and loved each other. Where they made love for hours.

What mattered was that they were so in love that they didn't care about the rest of the world.

Lucifer waited for Sam for more than thousand years. And as he entered Sam again, and as Sam gasped and arched his back, he thought that it was worth the wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, it's finished!  
> Thanks to my best friend and beta, Dee, you were able to read the story without any mistakes  
> Thank you all so much for sticking to the story till the end :)


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